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THURSDAY, APRIL 2 7 , 1939 T H E WATCHMAN PAGE NINE oLUn By Jimmie Downs . At a meeting-dinner in the \Cream Room” of the Blue Top Inn, famous Depot Lane night spot, the upper crust of male “Ca fe Society” convened and resolved that now and forever (’till Cupid shoots his dart) their freedom will be protected. Sixteen charter members then solemnly took oath and formed the first “Bachelor Club of Cutchergooie.” The sole motive for this revolt, we are told, is the feminine inva sion of a greater part of the male’s private life. The “Mysterious Knightess,” of The Mystic Kpights of the Milky Way, being the mo^t current example. Harry Mason vi^as elected “Grahd Bachelor;” Steve Kaelin “1st Dep uty Grand Bachelor,” Stanley Ambrowski “2nd Deputy Grand Bachelor,” and Wally Kaelin “Sec- retary-Treasurer.” Two uani- mously approved laws of the or ganization exact a “Turkey Din ner” for all club-members, from any Bachelor who is lured into matrimony by a designing female and a ‘Nickle Fine” if seen in the company of same. • • * The Dog House Club has in creased its membership another five “pooches,” according to last reports. At the regular weekly meeting. Tuesday night each ^‘Hound” was presented with a “Tag” and warned never to be without it—the beginning of a new anti-pound move. All mem bers in good standing were or dered to be on the lookout for stray, eligible mutts, strictly pedi greed, with an eye toward in creased enrollment. During a pan of dog-food (roast beef and dum plings), scraped together by the -Casino management, one of the thoroughbreds suggested that a “de-flea’d certificate” be required as a qualification for membership —three quadripeds immediately ceased scratching activities. All the pups were in favor of peti tioning Bruno “Great Dane) Zu- loga to have an ever-ready dish of selected milk-bone replace the conventional popcorn at the ‘long -counter.’ Secretary-Treasurer, Freddie (Police Dog) Karllhop, is working on a new name for the frankfurter, under proper condi tions, commonly called the Hot Dog. He maintains that the latter name is a direct insult to his fam- ily-TREE. NOTE: President Russ (Bull Dog) Robinson growled a ‘blessing’ and penalized a Poodle with a ‘nip’ for offside. * * * “Strange as it seems” the Chum Club is glowing with mysterious growth as new members appear each week, but the unnamed lead er remains in the background with only an ‘X’ as sign of identifica tion. Contrary to X’s train of thought several Chums would promote an active association with officers, dues and periodical ‘out ings,’ but, as the following thought points out, they are partially wrong. X says in substance: with the advent of balmier tempera tures an organization, designed to suit the cozy confines of a fire side (or is it’s facsimile) will not subsist when weather permits the adventurous human to plod abroad in search of new and greener pas^- tures. It is the spirit of wander lust—spirit which will not be broken no matter how strong the bond. Suggestions of parties or excursions would not come to pass because few minds will run in the same channel when so many forms of amusement tend to di vert them. In conclusion X states: (quote) If the club is allowed to remain semi-dormant during the torrid months it will outlive all other similar, active organizations, (unquote.) The world Is working up anoth er WAR complex to which, we are inclined to belive, American Youth will remain immune—un less those Distorted Minds take a notion to ‘play soldiers’ with the Colonies on their own fertile fields. Of all the printed opinions concerning that Current Topic we think the article which appears in April 29th issue of “Liberty” mag azine under the title “We Won’t Fight”—Say College Youths, by Betsey Barton—well, take a gan der for amusement’s sake. * * * We are about to doubt a Watch- man-town interest in the racquet game—which should never hap pen. It’s almost unbelievable all this obvious indifference being shown by “Ace” LeValley and his inferiors. * * * We are suffering no indigestion from , not eating that “Eggless Cake’\’>nd.‘‘Seafood (Hold Tight!) Dinner” ' plus the very original “Dessert.” * * * The latest in Dine & Dance was schristened last Saturday evening when the switch was flipped il luminating the neon decorations. “Dine—Sea Shell—Dance”, the spatters were informed in blazing blue and crimson. The newest in ‘spots’ has adopted those acrobatic note-killers who yesteryear glori fied the 7 Seas—and “Big Louis,” man of high adventure, has also been installed. Now for the “aqua rium” and you have the main at tractions of last season’s lucky number of oceans. P. S. The or chestra, of course you remember, consists of “Ding” Sterling, Wal ter Long and “Malk” Jacobs. ^ * As far as Peter is concerned the long billed bird of EVENTS sim ply had his dates mixed. * * * The super shoe salesman who introduced most of the county seat Eligibles to the Fair ones in the Oyster-town section about three winters past is attempting a renewal of old acquaintances in that area—if the messages re message received by Dotty Horne means what it should. « * * Which reminds us that a few of the sons of the river’s head, in cluding Joey Coleman and the McNary swain, were cruising the Emerald avenues last Sabbath P. M. Looks interesting—or some thing. • • • (We call upon an eminent LOVE specialist to answer one perplex ing problem). “The one I love pays me the least possible atten tion. There must be something wrong with me,” says K. L. (Mat- tituck). Dear K. L. Sure there’s something wrong with you—it’s as much as admit ted. Although you’re an attractive Miss and know how to wear Clothes well you suffer Dn Infe riority Complex so common among young people of your age. DON’T try to make an impression! Simply act natural and converse on sub jects you’ve found interests HIM. You won’t have to do all the talk ing either when he finds that the subject YOU have picked is a mutual one. You’re trying to slay him too swiftly, which is fatal and a bit awkward for one with so little experience. Boris Drake. P. S. If this advice fails there are two alternatives: First—Go to your nearest Witch Doctor and buy .a LOVE POTION for a bush el of Long Island Potatoes and a Duck. (This should make him mns lor bothersome biU«, dothea, medical attention. We con lend you up to S300. Take a year or more tG pay. No in- diacreet inquiries. Our main reqxiirement is your ability to pay smoll siuns regularly. FINANCE COMPANY 1 East Main St!, RIverhead Riverhead 2420 2nd Floor A. R. Westerberg, Mgr. • GROCERIES • FRUITS • VEGETABLES • SCHOOL SUPPLIES MY PRICES ARE RIGHT TRY ME! W I L B U R V A I L MAIN ROAD PHONE 7420 JAMESPORT, L. I. ’ I a 0 5 PINT ’ 2 a 0 3 QUART (It nuin ko (U PluM M .) National Disdllers Products Corp., N.Y. C—90 Proof—60% grain neutral spirits. M A S O N ^ S B O A T Y A R D NEW SUFFOLK, L. I. N O W SHOWING 8KANEATELE8 CLASS BOATS . SNIPE • COMET LIGHTING • GOSLINE • ALSO LYMAN BOATS Come in and See the NEW LYMAN INBOARD. FISHERMAN 1S-F00T A Real Motor Boat - Also Cape Cod, Pow-Wow and Others BOATS BOUGHT, SOLD and TRADED RBPAIRING . STORAGE . MARINE SUPPLIES _______________ Telephone Peconic 6272 happy if he’s a farmer). Second— Make believe the one you love is a Mad Dog. * * • We wonder if Smokey-Joe is still traveling after that ERROR last week. * * * That Star-of the-courts, Bill Bergen, is getting lots of mileage on the tires of that new Dodge coach since he started making the twenty-three mile trip from Riv erhead, in an easterly direction. Let’s see, Ruthie Jones figures in this somewhere. ADVERTISE IN THE WATCHMAN T H E M A T T I T U C K N A T I O N A L B A N K A N D T R U S T C O . MEMBER FEDERAL RESERVE COMMERCIAL AND TRUST SERVICE P U T Y O U R S A V I N G S . . . IN THE S O U T H O L D S A V I N G S B A N K SOUTHOLD, N .Y . Interest Begins First of Every Month RESOURCES OVER $13,500,000 SURPLUS OVER $2,100,000 WhY Do You Rush? —Lei the Telephone Help You Y e s —the telephone is a great conveni ence for ordering things from stores and chatting w ith friends. ••WiUynu b$ hom 0 if wt C9mt ovtrf* •'Whattim0 d9ts t k t s»c9mJth9w 4ta r tf B u t that’s only a small part of the m a n y things it can do for you, on busy days and w h e n youV e in a hurry. So e a s y to g e t things done w ithout rush ing yourself to death; so easy, to get quick answ e rs to all s o rts of questions. So before you reach for y o u r hat and **take off\ to do any errand in person, just say to yourself “ G a n I do this by telephone?” Y o u ’ll be surprised how often the telephone can do it for you. N e w Y o r k T e lephone Com p a n y . ••A n d s*md m t 1 d$M»m oramgn. ** ^'The M o re You U se Your Telephonw — the M o re You Save Yourself TWm MARTHA DBANE-W OR-2 P,M .-M ou4^ thriufh Fridax
