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•' --- •• - v 'V — “ A little whitewash now and then I ■l. i ; ' ■ M s S s' . = a Is relished by the best of m en,\ con fesses tb^C h icago News. |^v te g gn ----- The Louisville Courier-Journal de clare^: If China w a n ts a constitu tion she should stop lying In bed smoking opium pills. t ...... ...................= Is It not strange, eicialm* th e Shef field Daily Independent, th a t some of the most obviously sensible sugges tions men can make for the improve m ent of the world should be farthest off from realization? ----------------- An Incident of African History. B y H . R I D E R H A G G A R D . Submits the Chicago News: Now that the learned professor has de clared onr currency clean enough to handle, those of us who have been r e fusing to handle money may safely change our methods. \W ithin five years,” Thomas A. Edison predicted, \airships will be racing across the Atlantic Ocean, av eraging 200 miles an hour and mak ing each passage In approximately eighteen hours.\ A scientist rushes forward with the statem ent that as a m a tter of fact the Junebug Is quite sane. Well, retorts the Louisville Courier-Journal, per haps at some remote tim e In his his tory a few of him killed another bug and pleaded tribal Insanity. The inheritance of Innate savagery in human nature seems to crop out In the fact, laments the Pittsburg Dis patch, that the first speculations as to the practical use of flying machines are in the direction of their availabil ity for wholesale killing1 in war. Says the W ashington Post: The convict lease system has been a delu sion and a bitter misfortune to every State th a t has given it a trial, and Georgia is to be congratulated for having wiped it from her statute books. A Denver man engaged a detective to “shadow\ his wife while a suit for divorce was pending. As a result of „ the suit the man settled upon his di vorced wile a beautiful home and $60,000 in cash. She then married the detective. An old judge of a New York court of record says that, If the law requir ing an attorney of the courts to be of good moral character was strictly en forced, about ninety-two members of the bar out of each hundred would have to go into some other business. Robert Fulton possessed to a re markable degree the power of con centrated thought, notes the Century. He studied French, Italian and Ger man, and acquired a proficiency in the three languages. Higher m athem at ics, physics, chemistry and perspec tive also demanded his attention as he progressed in scientific research. The readings of Americans in po litical m atters to make affidavits in support of both sides of a contro verted question, protests the Houston Post, where a statem ent of facts is at issue points to the conclusion that the age is becoming marked by either an excess of partisan zeal or the high regard for truth which characterized the past is beginning to wane. Rem arks the W ashington Post. As for the British navy, it is the most valuable and the most effective of all the agencies that work for the peace of the world, and it is a study of the British navy th a t actuated those of opr American statesmen who came to the support of the American Presi dent last winter when he besought Congress to provide four additional battleships of the first class. The progress of the movement on the other side of the Atlantic, as re lated by Mr. John E. Redmond, is highly encouraging, thinks the Bos ton Post. It has reached the point where, in the calculation of this as- sute political expert, the next fifteen years will see the emancipation of Ireland. So much has been won al ready that full autonomy is in sight. May the prediction be fully realized. Never, in modern times, has a people demonstrated so fully its capacity for self-governmeht. i p M $ I them .. Ask in any one of those denatured food factories for pumpkin pie, and you will get something that goes by that name, no m a tter what time of year. Change your mind and your order to squash pie, and your server acts a little embarrassed at first, then takes another piece — off^the self same plate. Bless them , says the loyal New Haven Register, they don't know qgay difference between squash and pumpkin pie. It’s all one to The city has no such novelty umpfcin pi Twenty-one years ago I was Master of the High Court of the Transvaal. My house wag above Pretoria, not very far from the poort, dr pass, through which the road ran to Heidel berg and Natal. If a person stood looking toward this poort, about five hundred yards away to his right and alm o st in a line with him, he could see a white building roofed with gal vanized Iron. This was the stable In which the government mules were kept, and I mention it because it plays its part in this short record of some of the incidents of a troublous and exciting time. My friend with whom I lived and I had made a garden round about our house, and in it we had been setting vines, for which the shaly soil was suitable. Also I had arranged a bed with roses, and in the centre of it placed a gardenia bush. One m orn ing I was contem plating my vines and roses, when suddenly I heard the shrill voice of an old H o ttentot wash erwoman vehemently explaining something to my Basuto servant, who filled the offices of cock and valet. Presently the old woman emerged from the little tin-roofed kitchen, carrying in a bundle the linen for which she had come. She was a curious-looking creature, with a flam ing red handkerchief tied round her head, and a wizen countenance not unlike that of an amiable monkey. Another handkerchief, bright yellow, was pinned upon her ample bosom. “Well, old vrouw,” I said, “and what is the news with you this m orn ing?” “Ah, baas,” she answered, “bad news, very bad! King Cetewayo has attacked the rooibaatjes” (red-jack ets, i. e., English soldiers) “down | yonder in Zululand and killed them by hundreds. Yes, yes, they lie like leaves upon the plain— red winter leaves— leaves steeped in blood.” I was startled, for we were all w ait ing with anxiety for news oJ the Zulu I W ar, which w a s^hen being waged by the English after a fashion of which many who knew the natives and their method of w arfare did not approve. ! B ut I did not show any surprise, as it is not wise to betray any emotion ; when talking with black people. “Indeed,” I said, “and when did this happen, old woman, for the gov ernm ent have no news of such a thing?” “It happened, baas,” she replied, “not yesterday, but the day before; for on that evening those who were left alive of the white men were swimming across the Buffalo, and after them the children” (i. e., the w arriors) “of Cetewayo.” “Oh,” I said, “and how did you learn th a t ? ” “It was told me, baas,” she an swered, and no more would she say. “Then a lie was told you, old vrouw, for where is the man who can , run or the horse that can gallop over nearly four hundred miles of veld in thirty hours, even to bring bad news?” “As you will, baas,” she answered, good-naturedly. “A lie was told me, j oh, yes, a lie was told, but all the i same the rooibaatjes lie dead. Good morning, baas! ” and she departed. I sent for my horse and rode into the town to the office of a high official who knew the Zulus better than al most any other man, for he had spent his life among them, I told him what I had heard, and asked if the govern ment had any such intelligence, to which he replied, “None.” “Then, thank God, it must be all nonsense,” I said, “for the news could never have reached here in this time! ” We had no telegraph in those days. “Don’t you be so sure of that, young m an,” he replied. “The Kaffirs have ways of sending messages of which we know nothing. ” I think it was nearly forty-eight hours later that a special messenger galloped into Pretoria with the news of the frightful disaster at Isandbl- wana, the Hill of the Little Hand, in which we lost over eight hundred soldiers killed, besides Kaffirs and camp-followers, of whom there was no record. That was a sad and never-to-be-foi1- gotten day, especially for those who had friends and relatives among the slain. I knew nearly all the officers of the Twenty-fourth; with Colonel D u m ford I had been fairly intim ate, while it seemed but the other day that there in Pretoria I was chatting with poor Coghill, who, together with Lieutenant Melville, died in a des perate attem p t to save the colors, which were found wound about their bodies. In those pre-cable times it must take a long time before re-enforce- ments could arrive from England, and as the situation In Zululand was very urgent after the disaster, there was a great demand for volunteers, and especially for volunteers who could ride and shoot, and knew the country and the natives. In these circum stances, the authorities allow e d a mounted corps of Englishm en to be ty-one or two' who Jiad\ not .he®' raised at Pretoria, of which-.qorps I was elected adjutant and lieutenant. 11 may explain that in Africa volun teers always tried to insist upon the right to elect their own officers, at any rate in my day, so th a t they m ight choose men in whom they had confidence. This Corps, which was named the Pretoria Horse, was about sixty and for the most part com- posed of colonial-born men. A sm a rt er body of irregular cavalry than It became after a month or so of steady drill It would, I think, have been dif ficult to find, as every trooper in it could ride well, many were fine rifle shots, and alm o st all of them were thoroughly acquainted with the coun try and the natives whom they were t. fight. The plan was th a t we were to pro ceed to Ztiluland to join another corps named, I think, the Border Horse, which had been raised by Colonel W eatherley. At the last mo ment, however, this arrangem e n t was upset, for the Boers became so threat ening in their demeanor th a t the Adm inistrator of the Transvaal, Sir Theophllus Shepstone, whose son George had been killed at Isandhl- wana, daVed not allow so many Eng lishmen to leave Pretoria. George Shepstone’8 body, by the way, was not discovered till long afterw a rd, when his bones were iden tified by means of some false teeth. A native in whose possession\ his revolver was found gave to a friend of mine an account of his end. It was a gallant one, for he died fight ing in a little cleft of rock, with his back against a boulder. F o rtunate was it for us of the Pretoria Horse that events\ shaped themselves as they did. W eatherley's corps, which we were to have joined, was almost utterly destroyed by the Zulus at the fight of Inslobane, where Colonel W eatherley himself was as- sagaied in the vain and desperate at tem p t to defend his fifteen-year-old son, whom he had been so rash as to take on service with him as an aide- de-camp. One day, shortly after the enrol ment of the Pretoria Horse, as I was sitting in my office, which I still at tended In the intervals of my mili tary duties, I observed a Boer gallop past at full speed in the direction of Government House. A quarter of an hour later I saw another Boer, also galloping hard, with dismay written on his features and heading the same way. Then I thought it tim e to in quire into m atters and heard an in teresting story. It seemed that these two Boers and others who lived in the bush veld beyond a place called the Salt Pan, at a distance of about twenty-five miles from Pretoria, had been interviewed by a mounted Kaffir wearing the head ring and the Zulu m ilitary uniform. He gave out that he was one of King Cetewayo’s big Indunas, or confidential chieftains, and a member of the royal family. This man told the Boers that he had been sent by Cetewayo with an impi, or army, of between twenty and thir ty thousand men to fall upon Pretoria and destroy it utterly. His impi, he said, was now resting in the bush veld after its long and rapid march through the veld which lies at the back of what was known as Secocoeni’s Country. He added that the rush on Pretoria would be made on the following night, the plan being to storm the town at the break of dawn. Further, he told them that he had come forward with only a few attendants to warn them to make themselves scarce, with all their peo ple, as he knew that the Boers and the English were at variance, and the orders of his king were that he was not to kill any Boers unless he was forced to it. Having said this the man departed. Now although this scheme came as a surprise to us, for we had not heard through our spies that any considera ble body of men had left Zululand, there was nothing impossible about the story. All who were acquainted with Zulu history knew, indeed, that in the days of the black Napoleon, Chaka, who built up the Zulu power, his impis had upon different occa sions made even longer and more difficult marches, carrying annihila tion at the end of them to some un fortunate tribe that had earned his enmity. Moreover, it was quite possible that an army might have moved through the vast districts uninhabited by white men which lay behind Seco coeni’s without our being advised of its presence. Great, therefore, was the consternation. W ithin twenty- four hours a vast concourse of armed savages, among the bravest that the world has ever seen, m ight be pour ing through the unprotected streets of the little town, putting every man, woman and child to the assagai and giving the dwellings to the flames. The consultations at Government House were hurried and earnest, and very qoon orders reached us from the comm andant of the small body of British troops in the town. They were to the effect that my senior officers, Captain Jackson and Lieu tenant Fry, were to take horse at once and ride out to the Salt Pan to see if they could come in touch with or find traces of the Zulu impi. This m eant th a t I was left in command of the Pretoria Horse, no light re sponsibility for a young man of twenl —— was not an easy' situation tor this T red rays of the rising sun fell only reaspn: Only one or two days before our horses had been served out to us, a lot of sound and (good-looking but half-broken brutes, Which had been brought up by the Im p erial au thorities from the Free State herds and delivered in Pretoria for our use. Hardly had Captain Jackson van ished when an orderly galloped down from camp, bringing me urgent or ders from the commandant th a t I was to “m o u n t and parade my m en.” If these lines should ever chance to be read by a cavalry officer, let him reflect on w h a t would be his feelings If Ire were told suddenly to mount sixty men on sixty horses, many of which he had reason to believe had never yet felt the weight of a saddle, and to parade them instantly for active service. However, the thing, or the nearest approach to it possible in the circum stances, had to be done sojnehow. The corps fell In, and their saddles and bridles were served out to them from store. Then off we marched through the town tow ard the govern m ent stables of which I have spoken, I leading them, gallantly mounted on my best horse, a great blac:-. stallion. The line looked like one of gigantic mushrooms, for each w arlike trooper carried his saddle cn his head, while the bit and stirrups dangled grace fully round his neck. As we went, a dreadful problem through any regular m ilitary train ing. Before he rode away my captain told me that he relied upon me to do my duty in any emergency, to keep up the credit of the corps, and if it came to the worst and we were over whelmed by the Zulus, to see that we fought the thing out like men. Then off he galloped, leaving me to make the best of the situation. It agitated my mind: Upon what pos sible principle was I to serve out the horses, seeing that every trooper would naturally wish for the best and tam e st? By the tim e we reached the stable where the horses were tied up, I had come to the conclusion th a t it would be wise to allow the men to settle the m a tter for them selves. Accordingly, having paraded them in a long line in such fashion th a t all m ight have an equal chance, I shouted in stentorian tones: “Troopers of the Pretoria Horse, select and saddle up your horses!” Before the words were out of my mouth, the lines of human m u sh rooms were dashing madly at the shed, whence there arose presently a most indescribable noise of neigh ing, whoaing and quarreling. All this while the sky had been banking up for thunder, and nov It came— such a storm as I have never seen out of Africa— accompanied by to r rents of rain and blinding flashes of lightning. In the midst of this hideous tem p est my troopers began to reappear, each of them dragging after him, or being dragged forward by, some snorting and fear-stricken brute. At last all were out. Getting them into line as best I could, I ran my eye down th a t dripping company. Never afterw a rd, although in la t e r ' years I passed some ticklish hours in their company, did I see the Pretoria Horse loolj: half as frightened as at th a t moment. I also was frightened, for watching the aspect of the Free State equine mob, I guessed what must happen. However, my orders were imperative. “M o u n t!” I roared, and they mounted like men, or tried to. There was a scramble, and in an instant it seemed as if a couple of shrapnel shells had burst among those squad rons. Some of the horses were rear ing high into the air; one or two had throw n themselves down, their riders clinging to their backs; others were bolting in every direction, till they were lost to sight, in the blinding m ist of rain. And to my dismay I saw the sergeant-m ajor, the officer upon whom I most relied for assistance, being dragged along the ground, his foot fast in the stirrup, with the brute he had tried to m o u n t kicking viciously at his head. At last something resembling order was restored. The sergeant-m ajor was carried off insensible to hospital with another man, and the injuries of several others were attended to on the spot by the doctor of the corps. Then we rode, or rather bucked off, to our rendezvous, those men whose horses had proved utterly unm anage able following on foot. Never shall I forget the night which followed. My orders were to post pickets all round Pretoria, and I obeyed, sending out men two by two to patrol the various approaches to the town, and telling them that they would be relieved at certain points at midnight. But they were never relieved, for the simple reason that the darkness this night was so im penetrable that nobody could even attem p t to find them until the break of day, when they were discovered in all sorts of strange places, such as deep ditches and quarry-holes, into which they had fallen. Meanwhile the tum u lt in the town was very great, for as darkness be gan to close in, panic seemed to get the people by the throat. In every di rection Kaffirs, carrying their children with them , might be seen flying to the hills. W hite men, too, were bury ing their papers and valuables, and some of the women had given way to hysteria; all of which was little to be wondered at, seeing that everybody was convinced that the Zulus were, about to attack the town, and th a t our chance of seeing the sun was of-a very shadowy nature. On the m arket square defense meetings were being held, at which government officials were engaged In serving out rifles and ammunition to all able-bodied cttizqna. 'A t other points, also, attem p ts were made to arrange barricades and laagers, But .1 do not think they progressed much In the darkness. About eleven o’clock, to make m a t ters worse, some one on guard on the outskirts of the town managed to lot off a rifle, and of course this was sup posed to be the beginning of a Zulu onslaught. But no Zulus, came, and when a t dawn J wuu-eb the - ________ M M f ’ t ..'. on the green veld and the rocky hills, instead, as we half feared, of being reflected from the btoad blades of twenty thousand stabbing assagais. Before midday my captain and t h e - lieutenant returned, having been1 u n able to see or hear anything of the Impi, whereupon the Pretoria Horse was ordered to start out and thor oughly search the great sea of the bush veld. We were absent about eight days Upon this task, and by the tim e w e returned, having sepn noth ing of the Zulus, an explanation ,of the mystery was forthcoming. It seemed that the Kaffir who caused the fright was a madman. W ith his madness, however, was mixed sufficient cunning to enable him to personate a well known Zulu general and to tell a story so circum stantial th a t it was difficult to disbe lieve it. The warning to thp Boers also th a t they m ight stand aside in safety, as the king had no quarrel with them , showed a knowledge of current politics which madmen would hardly be expected to possess. W hen the times are considered, and we remember th a t tidings of slaughter reached us nearly every day, also that the news of the Zulu advance into the white men’s country was hourly expected, it is not won derful th a t even those best qualified to Judge were deceived by this tale of Cetewayo’s impi lying hid in the Salt Pan bush. When I began this sketch of a per sonal experience, it was my intention to tell of some of vthe subsequent adventures of the Pretoria Horse. For instance, there is the story of how I was sent out with six men to watch the great Boer camp beyond Fergu son’s, and of how, when they rushed us, we saved ourselves from a very awkward position by pretending th a t beneath the floor of the house where we were quartered was stored a ton of dynamite. Afterw ard the Boers hunted us in, and expecting to be attacked by three or four thousand of them, we fortified the government mule stables, which we held for sev eral weeks until the danger passed by for a while. Afterw ard, during the siege of P r e toria, the old corps lost twenty-five per cent, of its men in killed and wounded, but that also Is a different tale. Hanging on the wall of my room Is a fading photograph of the officers of the Pretoria Horse, together with that of thirty or forty of the men gathered outside the barricaded building in which we were quartered. There is only one of my comrades that I ex pect to see again, and the picture it self is not ornam ental, but I possess few things which I value more.— Youth’s Companion. ------------------------------- * 4 V ITIFICi ^ & INDVSTRJ I’VE CAUGHT NO FISH TO-DAY. Ob, Bobby \Bear and Bubby Bear one da* a-fianing went: ] . For lines they found some bite of string—• I for hoofce some pins they bent. They angled in the goldfish globe for nearly] half a day, „ t [While Baby Bear just waited to see what they would say. After they’d fished a long, long time, said Bobby Bear, “ I wish . | You’d go away, dear Baby Bear—I fear you’ll scare the fish.” “Dey isn’t any fish,\ said Baby Bear, “ for; yesterday, , i I was af’aid you’d hurt ’em, so I frowed ’em all away!” —St. Nicholag, 1 AMONG GIRLS. \Does she know her to talk to ? ” \No only to talk about.”— S m a rt Set. A’ MISINTERPRETATION. The Peddler— \Peach-ea!” One of the Spinsters— \ F latterer!- — Brooklyn Life. ONE ON HUBBY. \W h a t ia an able seaman, m a ? ” \A m an who can stand any num b er, of schooners.\— New York Press. AN APOLOGY REQUIRED. \Young man, you rescued my w lft from the w a ter.” \I beg pardon, sir. I thought it was your daughter.”— Judge. OBSTACLES. \You would be a good dancer but for two things.” \W h a t.are they?\ \Y o u r feet.”— B altimore American, THE SITUATION. \Boys will be boys.” \How about girls?” \Oh they have to be whatever fashion dictates.”— Kansas City J o u r nal. CHANCE FOR AN INVENTOR. “Women ought to use the typew ri ter more in their personal correspond dence.” \Probably they will when some one perfects a machine th a t will w rite crisscross.”— W ashington Herald. TRUE BOTH WAYS. \The die is cast!” hissed the vil lain. <<*r Then, shaking their gold locks, the chorus bounded on. • \ i t seems,”, the critic m u rm u red,1 \th a t th e cast Is dyed, too.”— New York Press. The aged inventor of the Mauser rifle has now perfected a weapon which fires twenty-five shots at a single loading. Plants with white blossoms have a larger proportion of fragrant species ihan any others; next comes red, then yellow and blue. Many of the flow ers of spring are white and highly fragrant; those of autum n and win ter being darker, with less perfume. Softness and other unfavorable qualities of aluminum may be over come, it is now claimed, by alloying it with magnesium. An alloy of this kind, to which the name af “mag- nalium ” has been given, is now m an ufactured in Germany, and its m akers believe th a t its use will shortly super sede that of pure aluminum. The greatest gain in the speed of printing since the rotary press has undoubtedly been from the linotype, by which one man does the work of at least three in setting type. The cable dispatches indicate that the compositor or linotype operator is about to be abolished by the inven tion of a Danish electrical engineer named Knudson. Summer springs of woods and bill- side seem to be less ideal drinking places than they have been’supposed. Seemingly pure w ater is found by Dr. E. A. M artel, the French cave ex plorer, to come through fissures di rect from a polluting soil, without any filtration through the rock. Even passage through chalk, moreover, does not seem to filter surface drain age thoroughly. Queen’s Coachman. , A queen’s coachman is a person age of no small importance. Cer tainly the coachman to her late m a j esty, Queen Victoria, had a befitting sense of the dignity and responsibil ity of his position. On the occasion of the jubilee of 1887 he was asked if he was driving any of the royal and imperial guests at that tim e quartered in Buckingham palace. “No, sir,” was his reply. “I am the Queen’s coachman; I don’t drive the riffraff.” — --------------------------- Late Stayers. “If you wantto4>e com fortable.and prosperous said the man who takes a friendly interest in everybody, “you should go fo bed with the chickens.” “Deed, boss,” answered Mr. ’Rattub Pinkley, “In dis yere tired kin’ o’ weather dem chickens don* go to bed early ’null to suit m e .”— W ashington Star. - - iu . IN 1910. E lerator Man— “ F iftieth story. F a r as we go!” Uncle Hiram (getting o u t ) —* \Gosh Mandy, that conductor forgo* to collect our fares. Come along, quick! W e’re a dime in.”— B oston Transcript. SEEKING INFORMATION. \W h ither away?” asked the cam paign manager. , \To join the society of psychic re search,” answered the candidate, “to see w h e ther I have a g h o st of a show.’’ -—W ashington Star. HOW IT HAPPENED. \Mr. Scribble, how did you happen to write this wonderful work, so pal pitating with human heart interest?’* “Oh, my butcher was dunning me very hard for som ething on account, and my landlord wanted his rent.”—* Kansas City Journal. THE ANXIOUS FATHER. Emily (playing \house” ) — “Now, I’ll be mamma and you’ll be papa, and little Ben and Bessie will be our babies.” Willie (after a moment, anxiously) — “ A in’t It about tim e to whip the children ? ”— Tit-Bits. THE POOR MILKMAN AGAIN. The milkm an was boiling over with indignation. “And you mean to say my m ilk don’t look right?” he snapped. \W hyj lady, th is can of milk is a picture.” “Ah, yes,” laughed the keen house wife, “b fine water color.”— Chicago News. THE SAME THING. \You have advocated a great m any reform s.” \Yes answered the statesman. \Yet you are now silent. Are you discouraged?” “No; I’m not discouraged. B u t the audiences seem to be.”— W ashington Star. awn we sallied forth to The Transvaal produces W OOD surronodinc country. ph» ounces of gold every m o n B . u**-' -V- m CHANGING HIS ORDER. “Has your order been taken?” asked one of the waiters. “Yes.” said Mr. W elbroke, \fifteen m inutes -ago. If it Isn’t too late, though, I ’d like to change it.” \To change your order, sir?” “Yes, i f you don’t mind, r n changej U to an entreaty.\— Chicago Tribune. 1 INVENTION. \Now th a t we have an airship,’* j said the progressive man, \w h a t will be the next im p o rtant invention?\ \I don’t know,” answered the enthusiastic person, “unless some method of enabling the who la running the ship to knoi
