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Herkimer Democrat. (Herkimer, N.Y.) 1854-1855, July 26, 1854, Image 1

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HElKIMBi^MOeMT.; c. WJ-THERSTINE^ , editor and PEOPRIEtOR. ' t h e HERKIMER BEM 0 C R 4 T Is published every W bd :^ e ?1)^-5 j c 'M ok « it ; g at Herkimer, Herfamer Coapty, Y., and be left at the residence of village ^ubscrihets for $2,00 per annum. Mail subscribei^, $2,00 per annum, o r$t,S0 in advahee. > RATES or ADlTERtlSiH6- ^ One square or less, one insertion,. • .$1 06 , Each subsequent insettionj» '0 25' One square 2 ’m o n ths,.l., . 3 00' One square 0 months,.,,;. , . 4 OQ'I One square 6 m o n th s,,50 0 One square one year. ............ , I . 8 00 0!P*A liberal deduction trill be made to those who advertise by the year. BOOK ANH JOB PRINTING, in all it? branches, executed with neatness and dispatch, and on reasonable terms. Sif.! \ J s f ^ - ■ ' IT ' ■ 'iV , . l\ . - : • . ; .J 1 I' ! . _T - K ! t\; I 4 2 A - J E A R i ; 50 IN advance : ■WOHAN. By K. ?. winnis. The lowly Jesus ! Love may write His name upon her marble brow, And linger in her curls, of jet— The light spring floWer may searcety bow T H E S E C R E T T R I B U N A L . , A TALE OF THE HOLY 7EH34E. ' BY H. C. PARSONS. Brightly gleamed the lamps in the imperial palace at Vienna; shining in their long rows upon a 3cene of gayoty and gladness. To the light steps of a thousand feet, which moved along the marble halls, music sounded harmoni­ ously, and the joyous strains came forth to the ears of those without, and rising were borne far and wide by the evening breeze. Lovely women and gallant nobles thronged the palace, clothed in the gorgeous apparel of the fifteenth century i here standing to ceinver^e in the chivalrous tone of those days, and there bounding on in. the endless evo­ lutions and mazes of the dance. , The lustrous lamps were hung on high be­ tween the stately column and the mar­ ble arches of the palace, shedding a soft and mellow radiance upon the scene below; upon the ladies and no­ bles, upon the tapestry and furniture, the statues and adornments of the roy­ al palace, while Sigismund sitting on his chair of State, gazed with a serene countenance upon the happiness of, his people. A youvg joaan, superbly dressed, whose light hair and blue eyes, pro­ claimed his Saxon origin, had just pass­ ed from the side of the Emperor. Ed­ gar, Marquis of Allondale, had been two weeks at the court of Sigismund, Ills handsome person, his great wealth, and bis deeds of arms, had made him there no unwelcome guest—and rumor even then asserted that the most beau­ tiful maiden in Germany had plighted her troth to him. As Edgar passed through the crowded room he paused to address the lord chamberlain. “ Ah, m]^ *dear marquis,” said the latter, “ I am delighted to see you. Ail the world is here to-night; but come with me, I have a private word for your ear.” He drew me into a recess.— *• Marqins, you have a rival for the hand of Adrianna. See, she is in the next room, and notice by her side that tall, dark nobleman. It is the Couiit of Palatine. He has just returned from Italy. Without success he has long sought the hand of your lady. This evening be has been constantly by, her side; ne means no good. Beware pf him—^you will find Mm a dangerous ri­ val, for,” he lowered his voice to a whisper, “ be is supposed to be con­ nected with the Tribunal of the Hply Yehme. You know its power—but I am called. Farewell I remember my warning.” Edgar stood as if paralized; the words dropped by the chamberlain, tbe name of the Holy Yehme, made him shudder and grow pale. Before him was tbe peerless Adrianna in all the pride of youth and beauty, \ a perfect woman nobly planned,” and by her side stood the Count of Palatine. Tall and strongly made, with black hair, a heavy mustache, a dark eye that fiashed from under bis overhanging eyebrows, the count looked like one whom few would wish to brave. Raising himself with ah effort, Edgar walked towards them. An expression of joy lighted up the countenance of Adrianna as she saw him, while the count’s face grew dark­ er as he gazed upon the handsome stranger. Edgar requested Adrianna tp join him in the dance that was hbout to begin. Looking timidly towards the count she consented, ilie y walked towards the dancers. The count gazed after them for a moment, with a sneer upon Ms lip; then looking around, and seeib'^ that he was observed, he passed into the outer room. The Count of Merlin, Adrianna’s father, was standing near the door in conversation with some noblemen; tbe count touched him aahe passed, he turned and followed him. “ There will be a meeting of the Ho­ ly Yehme at' twelve to-morrow night, in the vaulted chamber o f the castle of Drackenfels.” “ To-morrow night,” said the Count of Merlin, “ what new offender!” “ Bare you ask your chief for r^asoa^ Beware! Count of Merlin, you are not invulnerable. Remember, at twelve to­ morrow nigbt.v The festivities were not concluded that he did not perceive that a man with a dark cloak wrapped around his body, followed him to bis very door,— Hastily divesting himself o f hia apparel, the young man retired to rest, as the red sun arose from behind the bills that were crowned by the castle o f Prack- enfels. When Edgar awoke that morning tRe ! JTJIiY NUM B E E 47 . Slid started “ as if an been near.*’ ^lu tbe ve'i% >pilloW bii Which his head had' been lying, buried to the bilt, was a Idfig &^^er with a chord twisted around the,Randl^ to which k rfip of parchment atthi ed. TremMugly Hdgar f'dad “ Y are summoned to appear this 'night at twelve O’clock befor tbs' Tiibbnal of the Holy Yehme.* A guide will be with you at eleven.” Edgar turned deadly' pale as he read the fearful Words. A fearful summons it was in truth,'for rarely did any one leave the presence of that dread tribunal a living inbU.--7^ Originating as it did with sonae who wished'to preserve the laWs which theii; rulers were unable to enforce, it soon' tell from its ** high estate,” knd became the instrument in the hande 6f many for perpetrating the most atrocious out' ranges. The most, powerful dukes' and the 'greatest prinCfes had been summon­ ed to appear before' the Holy Yehme; and too well did Edgar know that'he Who failed to* obey their call perijfbed by the hand of a midnight assassin.— Conscious of his innocence, he deter­ mined to be ready at .the, appointed hour. Rising, he sought Adrianna at the palace of her father; to his aston- ishmeut, an<T grief he .learned that .she had thk 'inofhtng left tbb mty in com< paiiy with’her father. . ' ' Slowly dragged the day along at length the 1 appointed hoUr arrived.-^ Edgar heard, a knock upen the door of his apartment, he arose, ai^dqpeBpd the door. A man clothed in hlack, with a mask upon his face,' entered f be robm. “ I amifeady,” j»aid Edgar.' f'Ceuie, then,?! said ;the guidon ^‘ w'e have no time to lose.” ,, r Th^y dejcenjed ipto t b e .sta horsq^ saddled, and bridled s^qod before the door, ' They rode ^ rapid|y through % V when jhey bad passed tbe gate the guide turned to Et^ar: ; “ Sjr,” aaid he, “ you must cbnsent to be blindfolded.*’ ,1 “ As you picase,” said S(%'ari ' Tbe guide drew a handkerchief from his pocket and quickly blinafblded himv For some j time they rode on in silence —at length, thby, stopped, In an In­ stant Edgar felt himself lifted from the horse and hurried forward. They passed through what appeared to hitn to be a long baWntbeh dbwp '& stone staircase. A dooV . was Ihrowjti -open, the han^ercbleTlfeU from bis eyes, and he stood in'the presence of, the Tribu­ nal of the Holy Yehme. Seated around a long room were some thirty or. forty men, dressed in black robes;with black masks upon their faces. At one end was a raised platform, on which -was a table. Behind, the table sat one who appeared to be the chief.' By Ms side was Seated the secretary. 'TWo iron lamps threw a dim light upoji the scene. “ Edgar, Marqpis of Allondale,” said the chief, in a loud, harsh yoiee, ‘‘you have been summoned to. appear before the Tribunal of the Holy .ITehme. ; ’Tis wefl thatryou have obpyed,pur com­ mands. Listen .whiie. tbe, secretary reads the nccuaation,” ; , T h e , seexetafy rqse ; and read from his parchment: book—, , , t , , .“ Edgar* Marquis of, Allendale, is .charged with having dared to aspire to •the bend o f a Gerruan countess pgainst her father's consent, and * contraify io' the law of our land.” ; -Your defence, young naaiB,” said* tbe chief. . ■ ■ In^an instant the truth Rashediopon .the mind of Edgar. He was the victim of a base conspiracy* but Jwilo. Would summon him thus ! A b i it fiasbid tbroBgh bis brain like lightning; it was the Count of Balatine. He turned fiereely't. • Tl■^ ■ : ,u,r' I Wretch >! do you thiMc your obn- nlng artifice i s not discovered ? Th4t I do love the daughter o f Count Merlin I will AVOW before aliJtlm jwiwld. Biit as for thee I will maintain^” He has oonfeased bia-'guilt,” said: the chief, rising and doping hisliands; two men-at-arms entered* Away with him, you know his puniHiment.’’ Edgar was seized and hurried Away. When they reached ’ the' hall through which he before had ; passed, he: was blind^folded- - He was then led along’ a second passage a door was opened, and tbe night breeze playedisoftiyaiponMs heated brain., 1:1 11 All day had Adrianna remained mournfully within the castle of Drack­ enfels. Her father summoned her to depart with him on the day arfterthe imperial ball wlthoutassignihgar.es«on for his strange proceedings. The tho’t of her lover mourning her absence prey^ ed upon tbe spirits of the gentle girl.-*.- The day passed sorrowfully away, and the night brought no relief' to her troubled heart. Findii^ all attempts to sleep were in vain she arose and seated herself a t the Vindow overlook­ ing tbig garden. For a long timo< she remained seated there, gazing upbn the stars of the bright mooUi or bn tht sil­ ver watejs of the lake that day in the midst of the garden. She.'was gazing upon the latter and a statue o f Venus that stood by its Side, when her atten­ tion Was arrested by tbfe sight of men advancing up otoe o f the walks that led to the lake. They were ihrea in nmu-i ber, and two appeared U U dragging the other. They reached ^ maigin of the lake—the moon* wMcR had been cqnntepance, of herf lover-; i The? hloc'd thrilled her to her heart as she saw that he was evidently aprisoWA One' o f the meni-aLarmlf ‘ wkikdd to Ihe statue Of .Venus andseized it bythe left hand. It turned slowly, a tnap-dooi] was discovered,'Which-one jqjf t^ m raised.' ^he saw ohe of them, descend, their Ed^r, aind the other: The statue swung back tb its old place; atadalP wa^ still again. 1 S till AdrMma gkzed, aS i f fascinated, upon; the spot > where they had disappeared^ ^ Suddenly the,statue turned again; fiyk, one, and then .the other of the men-at-arms batbe fbrth-^ but the third person,’ Edgar; was not with them. Again qne oftbem^tonched the left hand of the Yenus, agqin the, Statue was restored, and all 'was as .be­ fore, Adrianiia rose arid tcritcrkd- to-' wai-ds her coUCb,but before sb^rbrichud it she fell insensible to the floori > <_■ ; , When she recovered‘She-found it wa^ broad day, and that she was upon jjei^ she rrished- to the. window. . AJLirwaSj still-rthe Aake. shope in .alUts pJacfd beauty, ami the statue locked as'if it had not been moy^d'ifbr ages. doalS it' have bebii a'dream ? ’ N o ! the tefHble scene was impressed -too strongly'An- her mind f it must have been ?e.al|ty,=— But hovy ,came Ldgar there ? Why wa^ he a prisoner f, She pondered on it for a moirierit, When the thought o f the Holy Vehme sudderily crossed her mind. All that sbbbad ever heard o f this Mi-; rible tribunaJ rushed upon he*;- Her father's supposed cqnnec^loq fWith if —- the CJount of Balatine—ah;l shbsaw .it all; she^knew the terribleUaturb6fthe Count, his great passions,‘his iron will; this must have been hisi Work; But how to save her lover, ? she .tboughtfor a moment, ^nd decided upon, her plan of action*. ,, , , Night had 'coriie,' and sneriCe reigned over the castle o f DrAckerifels. A ’fi'gure steals from a private pQrta] and glides rapidly across the garden, towards , the lake. It is Adrianna. GHiding behind the trees she at length reached' the statue. She places upon the grouhd a lamp and a small basket o f provisions. ’ ' ’ ! she Aerating hots IS^beartf. anrt tbe trap door Jins fore her. She finds, as she expected, a. flight of step?; slowly she descends, pauses and lights her lamp., Bbe looks around—she is in what appears io be a small chamber; before her is an iron knob-almost uncohshioUsiy she puHs it, a grating iioise is heard, the trap­ door falls, and the Statue r.esumas .Rs place. Alarmed^: 5h.c^ ^be knob, again the sound is beard, again the trajp'dOdr open's' Delighted to have discovered ibo mode o f ' eseade; she causes the i trap-door .'tO;* fall, and fear­ lessly begins to descend. ' , Down, down she goes,, far into the ground, while w^ter drips from th^ stones by the narrow staircase. * She has arrived at the 'bottom—before *her is an iron I door, i t is bolted Apon the outside, she draws back the bolt, enters the cell, and is in the arms of her lover 'weeping upon his breast. In a fewmo- Hients she was calm. ' i ‘VCome, dear Edgar, let'hi leave this dreadful place. lam fearfuhevery ment that the Count of Pi^atine will discover us, You do not know that manah-Ido.” ' - ‘\‘ * ' ' Hastily icfresbing himself vritli the food she had brought, Edgar left the cell with her, rejoicing *t hw pa^ape,. They were a^ u t to pscend the. stairs,, when the harsh' grating sounii, made bythe turning o f tbe statue, fell upion their “ Quick, quick, Adrianna* blow jout the light and come hither,” said.Edgar. AO she'ektiri^uishe'd the light Edgar ! drew her in to A* dark 'recesshy' the side ofihe cell door. ; >'1 f‘ Keep eileiit and, we are eayed,!’ m d b e ^ the trenY>lipg lady* , The heavy tres^dqf a man descending the atairs 'war beard-^soon they ?aw the glimmer o f a light, andthe Gount o f Palatine Atoo^ before the C.ell door. A smile of malicious pleasure was upon! his *tern countenance. j “ Well, my pretty stranger, we jwill! see if you have come to your senses y et.' If not, this must finish the bUiineSs.^* < As he spoke be drew a long from his breast, and grimly surveyed] the point. Then replacing it„he enter-^ hd the cell. To rpsh forward, shut ^hei door, arid riih the ‘bolt, waa with ^dgarj the Work of a ’moment. ' Seizing !Adri-1 ariria in bis arms bp rap hastily up the Staircase. When they had arrived at tbe landing, Adrianna pulled the knbt^, a ^ i t t a moment t h ^ wej® in thegar^i to the fate he sp richly merited. Ed­ gar and Adrianna ;prdceeded to the stables, riiountcd their horses apd be-, fore the kad risen were far beyond pursuit* *, They,reached England M fafeJty an^ were tnairricdl.. Though both lived to see the* secret tribunals In a great meas­ ure destroyed, yet never didEdgarbear them mentioned that he did not tMnk of the terrible night and fearful death !to which he was doomed by the Tribu- na| of the H oly ’ Y jbhsie . ‘ ffd mortali^anaf*Mi!6, • *' * a lite citKie ofheipe : ! of’hei-- Sileprcft sound. - ^ ipot, ^ our. glaoess-first iBet, )W wiH^i ---- I I -i Where 01 „ ^ A u S ^ t o . ™ ; ■' R c w 4 s in js r s l i K t a r f t w d l e , . J And garlaOTS our iomb. . tfi r.TBUR REAUTY^A JtAiaY TALE-. J * ‘Bt'Mks'/ 'E'.-in*. dUTHRIE. ' ^ ^ “ O, that I was only beautiful !’^’ sighed a plaim littleimaiden, m0urnful- ly wiping awajK^tfar. With these words she. fell asleep,. , j - As she closed hex' ayee„therhjdarted in _at .the; window as lovely a being as ever * graced, a ‘ fahy^ festival in the , cTiarmedTealm OfEatfy. Poising her- I self for a ’moment u^M the half-opened bud of a geranium, Which grewifresh %nd bright beneath'^ b®r pressure, ’ she, Ideated her eyes thoughtfully upon the shadow of a flowering vine which in­ tercepted Hie moonlight and threw del-J icate figures-softly upon the ca'rpetj Here she paused, folding her small band upon her bosom*, to await the more .perfect slumb^ of the maiden; sool), however, she advanced to the bedside, \and beriding’ ovef the pillp'w, she' permitted her tresses to brush light- ly as the wing' of zephyr. the brow of the sleeper, and thus she whispered In her dreams ^ ^ , 1 “ Maiden, it is tha desire.of thy .heart to be beautiful, Lemu this, oh? young 'ifaheritor of imnibrtality I that true Beauty, the beaUty wldbh fjldes not when the hair becomes' gray and year* , . ^ from, wi^ * * oui^ara-i \ee JOvely ; por wiJ| bright eyes; sunnY locks, and comely features, (except as these serve to rep­ resent the symmetry of thine inner sanctuary,) cause tbe’e to be beloved r hut in the high thoughts of a-pnre'iRml,' which will beam forth from thy fresh, young face, thpii mayesl find the power to httrdet all hearts irresistibly unto thee., “ The dahlia and the poppy are more gay , than the rose, yet the.r^se is the queen, of flowers. Her outward pro­ portions may be no more peffect, but her soft petals'Are ladeh With grateful odors ; from her heart floWeth the holy wealthiof a «weet.n4ture,.and the sweet nature^ fnd the surrounding qtmospherq is hallowed by,hpr presence.. “ GentlOriess dnd purity, are to llhee,' dear ttiaiden;A;^ fragranceis to the rosO. Indulge no thought Jtndcherish uhhmo- tion but-such as are lovely and pure; then loveliness arid purity will < always dwell aA la sacred p'resenc® ahqut thee.** ;?k, then, beautiful, spirit*” ,ired thA mal,a.D, S if'thi, ionstituts ms vary beauti' fiih *0 Ibat All who look upon rtte will lovomo?’? 'Hi ' J - ^ i Yes, truly/ -leturftCd Ehe fairy.^ “ This will indeed .fender then beautb [“^’fyetfrem^mber, maid^, that, in .thy npnr^ o f danger, and temptation, purity and ioViliness are not‘easily secured,—7 (>h,:fail’not^to regard thfeki as a prize to beconstanfly andreligibusly’ guarded. “ In thy .ftort .sojurn .upon rftaxth, thou mayest have beheld a valued but tender plant rooted out by) the^grosser cblldccn , of Rlofa’s dora|iia.,, Had a wise hand, but timely removed, tbpae in; traders from |he ^bii about her rpotsl Sunshine arid shoWers would hivd sure-* ly rafitediber toifte h^hAstite Joy und*blaasjng tp the upper But the rank weeds grew, the yon^g pl«at dled> and the aiYnfi!Yer_ knew:_hOw: rich a treasur# was once l^dden within her gentle BeaVt. ' . , “ Lo'^efiness arid phritjr &fe Within thy spirit^ >sorrowiBg one; tender arid beautiful flowers which God has 'eiioir6Fek'*evCj-jr efe^tuH of God witlnn its embrace. . , ■ ‘‘ Good^mghi,! m « e maiden Seek thou to be gfenerouS and. noble, truthful and pure, arid thou shalt become indeed ivery beautiful, e'ven urito the eyes of Th'e fak j ceased; *ahd bending grace­ fully over the maiden, she parted the hair ripon the forehead n t the sleeping one; then kissing lief with the tender­ ness of a motheh,sbe dRtedbaek to the 'window. -Resting once more where the shadow of vines wrought their deli­ cate embroidery up©«-a ground of moon­ light' she'clasped hen hanrs together, and upraised her Ayes :as ifJihvcSiDg a superior power. Sbe remaii?ed;thua for shft as the mobribeam, biit clear as the mdtniilg sun, gathered ;aboVc the cQuch wh.ercj^u the . little maiden ^rested.--— B|neathits magic influence all,traces, of tears, Wjere effacedr a ca-Im smile came itt their stead, arid she was baptised with the ripirit-bf jor. ’ Henceforward hferlife was a charmed life*- ‘When she awoke -upon the mor­ row; her heart was peaceful and .strong, her SOiil light ahd'fVed. All about her marked the wondCffUl ‘change that bad cdmBUpua the little maiden, though she,was h alf unconscious pf it herself,' for the day-hours seem.ed hut the con­ tinuance of her delightfol dream., Thh quiet;bumb1e grace that; aitehded her stfeps like an. angel o f light was as the prompting of her fairy benefactor; ! ' -Year^ passed? cheerfully. o n .- T h c spirit enshrined‘within that; vftung form became exceedingly ioVely; from day to day the outward fegure yielded th iis ;sWeet proportions, »nd the fairy*a prophecy was at length fulfilled*^TAe stu im t , . , , , ; (D- A lAdy friend d f onrg relates an amusingunoident, showing the means and appliances,” Wherehy'onC -of the obnoMoua” was swapped off-and boot given with him. - •. . ’Twas thus : ' !. A yohrig lady from the East, vTsiting her rClatidns in *thi» city hafllieeri con­ siderably anpoyed by tihe attej^tic .lowed, they would soon shut out the light, drink up the dew, and poison the Soil;; while Iqvaliness and purity w6uld iflthftTirWdljilvithfrxundcr their dekdly shade.“ - ',, “ Be i t thy popstant cane, to keep ciean tbe garden o f thy heart. Leave it ever open to thd rays pf truth, and 1st the dew* of innocenca ragbtly rest’upondt. Then, Us the rare plants of virtue unfold, tending pbroad their numberleis hrarichea to fill the atmos­ phere e l thine irifter life with fragrance and Joy, thine outward form will gradu­ ally Hse to the-heavenly proportion o f thine inner ^elf The impression o f an­ gelic Beauty that Blossoms ivRMn, will glow softly in thy sinile, hnd fall tender­ ly from the glances u f thiUc eye. Thy brow will becoia* radiant ris thy spiiit expands, and tby voice melodiod* as 4II?^GoQdue*vsfor typo5>-Golumhfifll; thy heart swells with that love* which A SHORT STORY. Dickens tells the following story of an American sea-captain; ’In bis last voyage borne, the captain had on board a young lady of remarka­ ble personal attractions—^^a phrase I use as being one entirely new, and one you never meet ■ with in newspapers. This young lady was‘ beloved intensely by five young' gentlemen,^.passengers, and in turn she was in love with them all very ardently, but without any particu­ lar preference for either. Not knowing how to make Up her determination in this dilemma, she consulted my friend the captain. The captain being a man of original turn of mind, says to the young lady, “ jump overboard and mar­ ry the man ’who jumps after you.”-— The young lady, struck with the idea, and being naturally fond of bathing, es­ pecially in warm weallier, as it then jwas, took the advice of the captain, ‘who had’ a boat ready and manned in case of accident. Accordingly, next Morning, the 'fivC lovers being on deck, and looking very devotedly at the young lady, she plunged herself into the sea {bead foremost. Four of the lovers im­ mediately jumped in after her. When the young lady and Her lovers got out again, she says to the captriin, “ what am I to do now, they are so wet?”— Says the captain, “ take the dry one !”^ And the young lady did, and married Mb: (E7“ Always let your children have thieir own way, for “ children are chil­ dren and must be indulged.” Dress them in tip-top style, and al­ ways take advantage of every oppor- an(i seli-sufficient airs of a conceited ^ man 0’ wax” boaramg with them, and, !hy art refined.’ finally concluded t^show her fneM ; - -Never, never punish, or in anv man- dress and show. Above all things teach your children the “ art o f begging from strangers.” Satisfy all the whims of your dar-, lings, for “ they must have amuse- 'ments.” Cultivate dn^your dear ones a dislike for work, for poor, delicate things, they cannot stand it.” . 'Neve’r l e t your children associate ! with any but those o f rich parents, for money makes the man. Teach your daughters to he aflected and your sons foppish,, for “ nature is upon the next bpportUriify, iboWa> f€W- pljrfu rwwd»'»hm?id ,pu*f bi*n dgwn; ;i That day at dinner our ^ntleman was anxious that G—■:— should sijt be- sidri him, Which she ‘gravely bx'eUsed herself from doing until the. ohdlera season should be over. “ Cholern season l-.-why—-whal;—oh, ■pshaw! come and sit, down by me.” ‘‘Nothow—can't do it possibly—fath­ er told me when I left home not to touch, taste or hqve anythiB^ lo -do- with,any green thing at my me?;ls;”- and tb? young lady proceeded with her dinner; leaving Sir Powerful Preten­ sions wondering whether the “ snigger”- that was creeping around the table wasn’t at his expens©.TTCle®e.^ JSer. ' -Go]Gp]:jFipRNq®.—“ - Yon say you have lonfidence in^the plaintiff, Mr. Smith “ State to the Court* if you please, what caused this feeling of ^confidence.’* “ Why, you see. sir, fbere’s allers re­ ports about eatin’-house men, an’ I used tokirid'er think— “ Never mind - what you thought tell U8 what yoii know.”v . : ! sir, on;e day I goes flown to Cooke’s ;Shop sez I, giye’s a weal \ Well, sir, proceed.” . ff Well, just -then Mr. JDooke corneas np,.aftdije5t’be, how flu*'Smith, what __ _ __ - „ take ,one‘tu ; sd he bets-flown and eats one Of Ms^oWn we’d l-^ s right afore me. ‘ ,‘,^Difl that cause -your confiflence m Yes,'infleed, sir, when, an eatin’ boaso keeper eetd down aforie'Ms cus- tobers an’ deliberately -eats one o f Ms ioWh wml pies* I rib one can refuse to Ifeel confidence—-ft |hoWjS honest man.” . , . - ,, M o m j PAT riAvim HIS Doo.-—The ma­ nia for; jpoisppipg, flogs having reached Somerville, an Irishman,* th©^.owner of a large dog accosted a neighbor one morning anfl thOfofldwirig cOhVei^aiion eri'sued't* - . ' *' J. “ D’ye gee: what’s rtMs-thcyfr? afther yard thissiti pizened fOr'my dogr butsbiirel kndwed Better than to be afther letting him: Atp it/?. “ What flidyma flo .with Jhe-meRt ?” , “ Do.I^id i l l . ■!whut shoiilfl Iflo Riife wdntf ft foisdri your hog,?’? , “ DchJ'.by mo soubJ .ilyiiver thought Pat went anfl looked into' Ms stye, .ivbere he fohhd that poor piggy was j m breathings his list. - ; . ! \! i L' ^ i ! \i ■ 1 ; j ‘ i’: ' : ' I \ ‘ \i ~f . . . I An,?xchange p a p r ,^^ays-^any i one, would suppose that the employment of s e w ^ was'the mdst pekbeful and, quiet oscttpatiott in the world ; Arid yet ' It is absolutely horrifying to hear lafliss talk of ftillettos^ ^gatherings, sur^«®», hemmfDgs, gorings, ?Mtings„ wMppMgs, lacings, cuffings anfl bastings \ What, U llst dfabon& ablei : “ tunity to cultivate in them a love for lowses—sometimes called suspenders. 'rier-'cb?rset<your children, for they will icome out right in the end. A P ortrait .—A young man wishing to be noticed in the gay circles of tbe world, buys an old watch for five dol­ lars. At the end o f four months, find­ ing it does not keep time as well as a new one, he pays three dollars to have^ it thoroughly repaired. Two months taffer, finding it is riot exactly a new 'WatcM'he pays two floilars for further, repairs* At the end o f the year, grow­ ing sick of it, he swaps it for an old musket. He then tries to get rich by Ihuntihg, but not finding game very plenty, and receiving a summons from the' naerchant to pay for his powder and shot, which has amounted to eight dol­ lars, be says to himself l i l get rid of the rotten musket somehow ; so he Swaps it for au old horse, and pays five dollars to boot. He hires his horse kept at the tavern, at which place ho boards; at the end of the year his bill for boke-keeping has amounted to forty dollars, and Ms own to severity^five,— Heriays to himself, this is not getting along very fast,'so he sells his horse for a barrel of'brandy, wMch finishes his earthly, career.— Gent A n O v e r h e a r d C onversaxioit .- ^ Joe, when you grow np do you mean to ; be a lawyer, or keep a confectionary store ?” ‘“1 havn’t made up my minfl, Tom, but ma. Wants me to be a minister.” “ Oh, don’t he'a minister, Joe, for you can’t go to tarcuses, then.” “ I know.that, but a minister, ma says, is the best profession. You know how Mrs. Lovegrew adores*Mr.Tretty- face, and woifldnft. you'like to be adored, Tom : “ Perhaps I should, but then you can’t flrive'fast, horses.” : “ Qb, yes you can; ministejR drive fast horses, now-a*days; And, besides that, Tom, when they have a .hUli<|g[s attack, the worsMppers send them on a f o r e ^ toar; then begets reiBBtober- efl in wills, and often has nice presents, and ma says it won’t be . long before everyjriinisfer has bis country seat, and a collegian to writ© Ms sermons. Won’t that he high.” : Tom acTiiesced, and the juyeniles in- dulgefl in another game o f marbles- ' W ar .— Now look aside.” Said Jer- rold, “ ri-nfl contemplate Go^s*‘image with a mrisket! What a fine looking thing i4‘V a r ! Ye*, dress i t as you may, dress i t and foaiher it, daub it with gold, huzza it, rind sing swa^ering songs s- bout it,-^what is it, nine caSes out of *ten, bttt murder in riniform? Criin taking the sergeant’s shilling I Yet, ;■€> man o f war 1| -this very moment yon are shrinking, withering like an aged grant. The finger o f opinion has been busy at your plutriSs>*--you ate not tbs feathitcdl things you were-'; and tbf» tbfflilOTtnbe, tfeegodie-qtHlbbas seat lit sMeni shot* Into your huge an­ atomy; and tbe corrofling iKE, even while you look at it, and think it shines so brightly, Is eating, with a tooth o f iron, into your sworfl.” • A SAN ERANCISGO AriCTIONERB- The reporter of the*San Francisco News furnishes that paper with the fol­ lowing report of a speech of a'Califor- nia auctioneer: “ Ladies and gentlemen, I have now the honor o f putting up a fine pocket- handkerchief; a yard wide, a yard long, and almost a yard thick; one-half cot­ ton, “ other half cotton, too; beautiful­ ly printed with stars and stripes On one side, and stripes and stars on t’other. It will wipe dust from the eyes so com­ pletely as to be death to demagogues, and make politics as bad a business as printing papers. Its great length, breadth and' thickness, together with its dark color, will enable it to hide dirt, and never need washing. Going at one dollar?—seventy-five cents?—fifty cents?—twenty.five cents?—one hit? Nobody wants i t ! Oh ! thank you, sir ! “ Next, gentlemen —for the ladies won’t be permitted to bid on this arti­ cle—is a real, simon pure, tempered, highly polished, keen-edged Sheffield razor; bran spankin new; never open­ ed before to the sun-iight, moon-light, star-light, flay-light or gas-Kght; sharp enough to shave a lawyer, or cut a dis­ agreeable acquaintance or a poor rela­ tion ; handle of buck-horn, with all the rivets, but the two at the ends, of pure gold. Who will give two dollars ? one dollar? half a dollar? and a piece o f soap sweeter than roses, lathers better than a schoolmaster, and strong enough to wash out all the stains from a Cali­ fornia politician’s conscience, all for four bits 1 Why, you-have only to put tba razor-strop and soap under jour pillow at night, to wake up in the morning close shaved. Won't any body give two bits, then, for the lot ? I knew I’d sell them. “Next, ladies and gentlemen, I offer three pair of socks, stockings, hose or half-hose, just as you-have a mind to call them; knit by a machine made on pur­ pose, out of cotton wool. The man that buys these will be enabled to walk till he gets tired; and, provided hia boots are high enough, needn't have any corns ; the legs are as long as bills against the Corporation, aDd as thick as the heads of tbe members o f the Legislature. Who wants them at half a dollar ? Thank-ee, madam, the money. “ Next is something that you ought to have, gentlemen; a lot of good gal-' I know that some of you will, after s while, be furnished at the State’s ex­ pense, but you can’t tell which one, s& buy whe'-e they’re cheap. Ail that de­ serves hanging are not supplied with gallows; if so, there would be nobody to make laws, condemn criminals, or .hang culprits, until a new election.— Made of pure gum-elastic—stretch like a judge’s conscience, and last as long as a California 'office-holder will s teal; buckles of pure iron, are, in short, as strong, as good, as perfect, as effectual, and as bona Jide as the ordinance ri- gainst Chinese shops on Dupont street —gone* at twenty-five cents !” 1E?“ “ Not long since,” writes an old friend and correspondent, “as I Was re­ turning from Buffalo, I was amiiSed, while the cars made a momentary stop, at a demonstration made by a crazy man, on his way to the State Lunatic Asylum, at Utica. He was standing on the track, in front of the “ Iron Horse You think you are something !” iie said, looking wildly at .the locomotive, and assuming a boxing attitude; “ but look o’here; I can whip you! I’ve flogged the fiery bulls of Bashan, and broken their horns off! Say 1—don’t stand there, whistling and smoking like a blackguard in a bar-room ; jest jump to me, and I’ll take the conceit out o f yo'u, you d ------ d old cooking-stove on wheels How. TO M akjs a F ashionable B on ­ net . —Take a diamond shaped piece of lace .or muslin ; slightly round the ob- tuse angles; stiffen the edges with .wire, and put strings on the ends to fasten it under the chin. Trim it all round the edges with. a.profusion of lace, flowers and . bows, making very little distinc­ tion between the front and tbe back.— Tie it over the back of the head, or l?t it hang between tha shoulders,, taking good care not to let it come forward so as to cover the top of the head, much less shade the face. If , of very light, thin materials, ft may he worn indiffer­ ently as a cap or bonnet, N.. B.—Be sure to fasten on the strings strongly, for i f lost Its'loss would hardly be felt or diseovered, -S cene in a S chool R oom .—School Marm—To a five year old urphin, pointing to tbe letter G : \■What letter is that?” , , Young America—“ Don't knowV’ - School Marm— What flo you say to your horse?” - Young A meriea—“ Go lang—two for­ ty on the shell road.” ffT\ Many people are desirous of [knowing the exact size of an acre* It is comprised within the distance of 1^20 feet length and 198 feet width. A square acre is a fraction lees than feet each way, being less than one inch too much on either side. II?\ “ Yice is first pleasing, then easy, then delightful, then frequent, then ha­ bitual, then confirmed ; thfialim man iff impenitent, then he is -ohstin|tte,-thm he resolves never to repent, thin he-Is flamngd.” _______ lO*- ‘‘ I f yqu marry,” said a Eomaa Consul to his son, “ let it be a Woman who has jt%ra?nt and industry enough to get a meal o f victuals, taste enough to dress herself neat, pride enough to wash before hr-eakfa^,andLsense;eriough to-hold her tongue.” ID*The following^ a goofl-phriaso descriptive of*an energetic characf^ *. —■“ Cromwell did not wait antil ihri iron was hot, hut mndc it hot htf sfrifs-^- frig/”

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