{ title: 'Olean herald. (Olean, Cattaraugus Co., N.Y.) 1883-1905, September 27, 1884, Page 7, Image 7', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn89077026/1884-09-27/ed-1/seq-7/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn89077026/1884-09-27/ed-1/seq-7.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn89077026/1884-09-27/ed-1/seq-7/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn89077026/1884-09-27/ed-1/seq-7/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
Image provided by: Olean Public Library
~ .•. t~t~~~!~~~~~~~; thJJ.n l\DY of its innu- thoug~ it by ¥O.means tb,,,t 11o• illve,nt<>r h!W rolve:l the hard probletnofaerial navigation. No doubt the . ·false analogY' between water and air ·naviga- tion has retarded progress in this None o' your scrap~ an' leavin's. , there iS no analogy, or but lit- bectwilen .. the ·tWo. The sliip floats on one . i> ··propelled by another. The ~~-:'\:' machine is immersed ·wholly i:rtthe- it , iii. 'to navigate. The difference But a goo.d square meal for all three; If you think I'd skimp !11.3Lfriends,_Boss, That shows you don't know me. . from dealing in the one case elastic and in the other ·with an tlnid, also hns much to do with the So ~e's Yi;>Uf_papers-como, take one. Gllllme a lift if you can- - · For now you've heard my story, You see I'm a fam'ly man! . PUNISHMENT FOR PUNSTERS; .diflic\ttlties that have been encm;ntered. No, No Such a. Thin~·· Under the Sun a\ a · :: \Je~r .thap, ~hat ?f the qrrd can prob· . , N \' P · _; ··,f,bly .be· 1 b'ut we do not know enough ew nn. . . : .; B,bpup,t~lj!Jlotion,of:.the bird's -Wings as yet· [Peck's Sun.] . · .tQ mader,tl<e.pr 0 b;em~ Ligh~J~ng_}l9wer Whenever ~ young man, finds that he has .. 11,1'6' the~ ·deSiderata, ~nd it is_ very ~ard to . e:xpressto~ to a pun, h~ 'hould ~ke 11 . . . ·bring them together as they are combmed in . piece of asafce~1da abou~ as big as a. hickory ·.. ~he· .~lm;ider, bollow but strong frame and 1 ?-ut and che\jV it. Be will not feel like malt· ·. · :.: 'bones· of the bird. It is howev:er clear that 1 mg anoth~r ~un .as long as the taste of the · · . .· , !Ill ~m.o~lve ,po)Ver electricity possesses many i drug remams m hU: ~outh. _]Ie shoJClld c_arry _ , , · ~yan~ges OV\lr,stealll,. and. it ~:p.ay \Q1! pre-- 1 ~om~ of ~?e .drug JiiS. v~st,pocket. wh~n b;e · ~ .'~&,ell:lwith safety that if aerial navigatLon g~es on,t m . ~d keep a piece _m his . ' ii; will QB through the aid of mouth may be Ofl'enSiVO to that' the. machine can siva hours. ·It is, therefore, only a and he will become a If thiscou~ ur 11800 ,t. and it remains·uncertain-ap. will· not cure him he had better go and drown iJii.:rentiy wttetltler· a machine capable of carry. hinlself. -. . ~~:!f~:J~~~~~f~~e· electricity ,for a reason· : Theril .. iiS- ll() -such-· thin~ as a-new. pun, as ~- made to work. Nor can every word that is susceptible of a pll;U has eX]i>erinu~nt, perhaps made under ex· been punned upon for thousands of years, so (1e]pti1omlllyfavorableatmosphericconditions, when you he~. a person make~ pun you Cal}- the.question of the steering affirma· be sure that it lS a thousand rears old. If a , tfveJY. FlOtation and direct,ioo are equally · man or woman, when ma~g a pun on.a 'involvea in · they are con- word, realized that th_e Egypt1an mummy m · · · tbe.museum, when ahve, had made the same area. iS requi!\6d whieh pun, and laughed at it boisterously, he would direction doubly difficult. be ashamed of his own attempt. The Eng- balloon has been tried be- !ish la.ngauge is good enough if you take it not successfully. The straight, and·it is foolish to torture it. The oLthe problem in fact man who maltes puns h~~obitually is usually. II l'illlnaed.p.rolongeq ex- weak :W.~lh. Vf-AQ. ;iiMgiues .he .. is Jmlart, 11$. yoo . t?.77\~ 1 -=~~t~un~'dd:e~~r~thfuee';:;most various atmospheric can see by watching him as he laughs at his eonditions to demonstrate-its succe~ulsolu· own smartness. tion, even if what is now alleged should . As l?ood a wa_y. as any to squelch n punster 'prove to be m no respect exa\\\\erated 01 lS to hsten to h1s pun, look thoughtfully and over-estimated. • bo say, \B. C.\ or \Cre~it it to Adam.\ Youyg I men IDlo. get in the habit of making pllllS.Oll ;\Vhom C:he Go-vernor,'Kecelves: [.Arkansaw Trave~er.] t . : Agentleman who .has busmess Witli the · governor of Ark&nsa w enters tb,e state house, and. is inet by the negro porter: ·,\I Wish to sell the governor!\ I ali occasions lose their positions, girls go back on them and they go through life alone, ex- cept in rare instances. A girl hates to face the prospect of a lifetime of poor puns, and they will think twice before marrying a punster, as he is liable to practice his puns nn his wife. A dr\'nggiS\\\'\'t\'m\\w\'t'\''st\'e\\rn\'liiW\IS\-c'iiomniiiSITi.n\'·--'lihadiilif<a great ·habit o:li malting puns a few years ago, and no customer was safe to go to the store to buy anythin_g. They all got a pun with their medicine, and sometinles the pun was worse thlm the drug to talte. One night a man named Otto Padman was stabbed in the breast, and was taken to the drug store to be sewed up, \While tl!e doctbr was at work on the man the druggist came up and after looking at the wound he said: \You Otto had a liver Padman.\ The woU!lded and dy- Ing man heard it, and it was too much. He could stand the stab with cold steel, but to be stabbed with a pl,U). was too much, and he hauled back one foot an,d kicked the druggist in the nose. The druggist has never made a pun sin<;e, and we don't know but a kick in the nose is altout as good a. cure as any. <!Yas, sah; builiness·particulal·!\ His Inte.l).ti\on Was Illiataken, \Well that's neither here nor there. I wish [Texas Siftings.] · : ' to.see him.\ Tbey were chums, and occupied the same ' · ~'In ·co'S!l, sahl in co'se. Does yer want ter room. One of them, who waS dissipated, . • . 118~ lfim ·ban? Hol' on, sah. Ef yer wants had been driDJting for several days, and · -~-,.- fur Ml!lperment liis 'miniStration he run't was apparently very much depressed, 'drew a · 'gaglld;,l;i)it ef yllr'wants. ter get .er pardon rev-o!verfro:q;t the drawer, looked at ft sadly, . .f).ir:!!l' evil\:Pilsson he is.\ Now, which one is !ighed heavily, shook his head. and said in a . · \ i~,.sah!~' · ! low, deep voice: · · , \:i: have to tell him that the people of the \I have no money. I've pawned almost · Wallow d:iStric~ have indo~ed him for ~verything I own. I have but one friend States senate.\ left, my faithful revrllver. It will do me a be mighty plea~ed'· ter ses yer, parting service .. I'll- and he lifted the pis- :Walk right· iii. · Twenty.five cents tol from the tabla. · , .. I'· woUld help de cause. Tilanlfee, sah.\ \Stop I Hold I Consider what you are · · · ~oing to do. Don't shoot--\ .i!Xclaimed hill ' Namln~ the OtThnder. U'ien!l and room-mats. . ' . .. : ;•.. ,: · .. [Chronicle ''Undertones. 'I] · . . '.'Shoot!\ exclaimed the sup{iosed suicide, ·· - . , · , The Bohemian\ club, at its last higq jinks \Who is thinking of shooting1\ · ;· ', In the redwoods, unveiled a pl~J-ster statue of \You s~Id the revolver waa going to do you ·: St. John of Nepdmuc, the patron sai1lt of the 1. parting service. Don't\be rash!\-- . 'Club.· It seems that sotne religious body hold· \Why you darned fool, .$o it is g:gjng to do . . a catn!)' t;neeting there shortly lifter ob- L last service. I atn going to soak it lor . -to the Cl\OSS and the halo 1l.nd tore .U.50. with old Sch'Wartztneyer, and get some rutblesely oft, , T)Iey were !•eplaced ·lbber for the money;\ an.d 'wrapping up the '\n\' ''\\\'·· but the story was very e:x!llitedly ieadly weapon in a pa,ller, he· went out o~ · · · who has charge of the A:11stin avenue in ti}?dii'e'lt.ion of.tlle leadih!t • · , · · ~a.W:fibroker's estabplllilJ!.ent. . • ~Guaranteed the best and Pur~st Lager in the market. T • I . - , ry 1t • . . . . . _ . , , Orders b~ Mail~ T~ephone, Telegraph, Promptly filled OHA8 DO !I !IER WEIGH, . I ~ ... :-~&lean, .N. Y. I. • OF· OLEAN, 1\J. Y. Capital Stock Paid in, Surplus, C. V. B. BARSE, ......... ::: .. ....... ---------------- ........ ·--·-·· ......... ------··· H. S . .MORRIS, ..... -------------- ----·-------··--·---·-----------·-----··----'---'-.- . .M. W. BARSE, ... _. .. ---- ............ ____ ............ ·----.------- ...................... ,_, •• DIRECTORS: C. V. R. BARSE.: H. S. MORRIS. R. 0. SMITH. C. S. CARY. General Banklll&\ Bnsineli,. Transacted . ... Elegant Stationery, Artistic Novelties, New BOOKS. ----S\'A~DARII ' MISCELLANEOrR AND GIFTS.-A·T THAT JJ'JLL TELL. Wedding;§!. Carp Engraving, x..at1ifi'JRR1i~~~ ULBRICH &--KINGSLEY, H.oiel and. Restaurant, WALL Papers and W~ndow Slt~~- O:ppos,i.te B. :N\ •. Y'. d:! P. Depo\t. . Draperies and. Furniture.,·'' . <>=E.A.r\1\ N. \Y':. , , / This is the onl.y First-Class- Res-taurant in Inlaid Floors and ;Rugs. Olean where ·everything is kept that the Market Cl 1.: J s· ___ 11,:tfords .. Everything new and first-class. Shell Oys- . OCaS, ~amps, , ere ens ni:li~.turs..~ . ~~~-· ~~e;:er~:s~· ~~~r~-C,.~ou[-:_n.:!~t'f.re .. c\.:':.e~I~· v .. ~e:!d 1 ~Ed'-\a''~i y~~·:L..F\'\':in·!.!e;=1i;on_~e\-'·o.uf_ ~::-~'u..i'\\n~t ...................... M~ .. A-- B 1 R G l.f-;;•o~-u~-v.---'o~Y----\''.uJ•--........;;. .. ..::..... .. _,..,:::._ 1 ~ is stocked with a fine Liquors, W,ines and Cigars. C.A.Z... :E£EEFL::J;JSf, Pre>p:r:l.e1:<>r 248 AND 250 Main Street. Cheap, Cheape~, Cheapest! BUFFALO_ ·. eire~ t' IndUcement---- To :Parties Living Lower Prices Every Day. We Lower the in Olean and Kinds of Vicinity in • r ·~~-·> ~ -•7 -~~- • • -~-. ••• •r--~_,_. ........ --·-----·--- BARGAINS IN TEA. .. BARGAINS IN COFFEE. .BARGAINS IN SUGAR. OA:Q.Y & RUMSEY. A.TTORNEYS AND COUNSELLORS A'.l.'LAW, . OLEAN\\, N.Y. Office over Ra.tne &. l'!Q'a tJStrdwa.rA Store Union St DENTIST. a. J\. FISHER D. D. S. EXt;H.Ar.G!!- tlANK BUILDING, OLEA~, N. Y., ROOM NO. 25- 0ffice bouts, 9 to 12 A. M. and 1:80 to 5 P. ~~ Calf and Secure the Barg~ins in Groceries. SP~!~~E~\\'!~,!!SE. J. W. & D. A. PRATT'S, 127 UNION ST. J AS. COLL.OPY, lfianage r Everything first-claps. Newly refitted and fur nished. Rates reasonable. Good sample room attached. PULLMAN BROTHERS' . New· Livery Stable. ~ I have now on sale, Three Car Loads Horses :B(I[rded ~nd Saddle and of Bankrupt Furniture purchased of the assignee for Oarr1age Horses to Let .at DR. J. C. RI PRAC'T[CAJ, RXPERIRNCE OD' TWENTY YEARS, I now ttse in addition to my many me:<li<llnll& PROFESSOR DVPRE'S Pr·epllll.\li.ti'~·' ons for tJ·eating :Piseases of the Tlt*«)&:~~:;:\j; and Nasal Cavities. more CataJ'J']J, I Guara11tee a Cure in all Tbe recommendations of tbe U!l!ln~n!:Y::._. ~~~~~ cmed-may te seen at my office;: - OFFICE HOURS,-8 to 9 a.m., 1:80 to 8·:86, and;7. tosp.m. · ROOM 8, SECOND FLOOR, RE.AR Fr;ER<~~->1\ BLOCK. RESIDENCE No. 4P, THiltD:STREET • ' . Reasonable Prices. fifty cents pn the Dollar, and at price~which-'----will ~m~a~n:::dl~~~~~~~~~~~~t-----·-srtumu~-:STREWr.:---:-:==:z: the attenti.Gn of the closest buyer: We quote a few prices: ~fcfffr~~J~ ClEVElAND An Ash Bedroom Set Three Pi eCeS $16. former price $20 By Channeey F. Black, Lieutenant Governer oi Pennsylvania. Our book will contain facts to \ \ \ \ \ \ $20. \ \ $27. befot\nd!nnoother, beaidesacomplbte history of the Democratic party, WJtb an its plat- $25 \ \ $\'>2· \formsn!ketctres·of the lives of ttl! tht> Pres!- • 0 ' dents; the wnmenot tbe White House: protec- \ \ \ \ \ $28 \ \ $40 tive tariff; revenue reform; electoral vote; home · • life of the President, and a full lite of \ \ \ \ \ A 6 ft. Extension Table, Ash $4.50. \ \ $5.50 HENDRICKS ~b~~~s~~::J~~~~ 0 4~s~~~~~!I;: A Walnut Italian Marble Top Tahle $7.50. \ \$1'0.00 ~I2i~\Mf'iin~:eUko~~:. s83.Arch street, These are not poorly made and roughly finished \\'. 1vv'\'\\ as is usp!l!lly the Qase with low priced Goods, but are first class in every l'Bspect and were made by a well~known mam:lfact- urer, of Jamestonw (who recently failed) and whose goods we have sold very largely during the past year, and were the best selling goods we have had even nt the olq,,p;ices .. These goods ~an not be replaced again and these prices will be continued only long enough to reduce the stock so that we can handle it. Our stock was full before and we have no place to store so large an amount of goods. To Parties out of town, visiting Olean we particularly request you ~o vi~t our rooms whether in want of goods or not. Our stock is full in .each Department and we will guarantee you prices. tha will tempt you to buy. ~ucccssor to .ANDREWS & DICKINSON, BLAKE'S OPERA HOUSE, Phllndelj:>hia. G A. I--:IALL Mmmilteturcr and dealer in DoorH Sash I Blinds Mouldings). Brackets~ Flooring. • Ceiling. Siding Scroll-Sawing, · . Turning, Etc., Et A.LL:ElC3· AN\'Y N. Y SCHOOL OF .,NO. 16Q U.NIONST., OLEAN,N; 1\. F <> E'l. C :I: ::a. C U L .A.B.. IS -Address- E. WILL,\RD GEORGIA, Director. GILLINGHAM. A. JUDGE. OLEAN, N.Y. ' Jt. ' Gillingharh & Oc).;: · propr:le1:ore of'' \the . ~~--~·-rl\\\ OLEAN SASH ~FACTOR. P •. .A.. ~OUN\G- Whglesale a~d Retail De~~r i~ 1 Penn'a Pure Rye and Rentnck\y Dou'bons. Whiski:e~,, WiPl§t~~Liqupr~~-~n,d_ ..... S~ , llliPOlJ.'1!5D· . 4ND DOIUESt'J:(l, . Agent :f.9r Rosskam;:·G-erstly & Co's. Celebrated Whiskies, MANUF.A.OTUltEits OF AND Dr;AL.EJtb ~tt.- ~\ ~ ....... ' 96 Unio~ ~tre~K~~ · . ,OLEAN~ N. Y. ~ ' . .. . . ' ' ;~·~··.· ~'
