{ title: 'Richmond County advance. (West New Brighton, N.Y) 1886-1921, September 04, 1886, Page 1, Image 1', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn88079199/1886-09-04/ed-1/seq-1/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn88079199/1886-09-04/ed-1/seq-1.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn88079199/1886-09-04/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn88079199/1886-09-04/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
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> ®MOND ATTMTY DVA: J. CRif rnap, Jr., FBlttte an PrwrtelBr. A Iad«pend«nt, Itocal Newspaper. »I BJS PKK TEAK, tsr AUViXOE. B ) snsGLE copr, 3 CESTS. V VOL.^. WEST NEW BRIGHTON, S. I., SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 1886. NO. 24. Ctmioua Bpccfinens of journalism m often prodi]'*o(l at seasboro resorts. One of tUe mos^ uniqno i s a baby news- paper at Sea ^'^irt. I t i s printed erery week op? a toy print in f^-press, and {pvcB tbo nt^;-:ery news of the nil* meruos obildren tbo placc. ZOLA , the famous French norelist, Sa now engaged np(^i a new novel t o be called \La Tcnc,\ which will b e de- voted t<> the examination of the life of tbo poiisontry, ^ith special reference to their earth-hunger. K o hopes to have it ready by tbo beginning of next year. Afterward, it i s said, h e will take up railways, the army, an d jour- nalism as the s^tbjocts of three more novels, MORKT VERXOK does not \pay Th e last annual report of the regents says that during tbo year 15,t)07 visitors, exclu&ivo of excursion parties, came to the grounds, froV*^ whoso fares the as- sociation dei'lved* an income of $5,- <iOB.iO. The tax' on excnrsionists in- creased this sum t o th e extent of $681.05. The gross receipts from all •ottrces for the year were $8,035.18, aad tlio expenditures were over $10,- 000, leaving a deficit of about $2,000. George W. Childs cnme to the rescne with a check for $500. SOI:TH CAUOLISA has a local option law, and under it l^aleigh has voted no license. Tlicre is in Haleigh, however, a club whifh furnishes liquor t o its members, for their nci*ommodation, at a prioo wliicli jnst covers the i-ost of the Ramc, there being no intention of making any prolit out of the sale. Th e no-licotise ])cop1o have had the steward of the club indicted, and upon his be- ing niljudgod not guilty by the Supe- rior Court, ha\'o had the case appealed to the Supreme Tourt- The decision of the latter tribuual—which will not bo rendered for several months—wiU certainly be awaited with interest. THE Harper Brothen , i t seems, eun e \down t o the sidewalk with nncoTered beads\ t o secure the publication of General Grant's book. Accordinff t o Colonel Frank Burr, of the Philadel- phia Timeit, they approached the Gen* eral with an offer of $50,000 for the work, h e t o tranfer th e copyright. Grantwaa advised t o accept this propo- sition, bnt declined on the ground that he was not willing t o accept more than a fair compensation for the work, and what that would b e could not be de- termined except by a royalty npon the actual sales of the volume. lYhether this decision was the result of ingenu* ous modesty or a bit of financial fore- sight, i t i s impossible to say; but, con- sidering the hundreds of thousands already realized, the wisdom of i t i s very apparent The Harpers \came down,\ but not ynth sufficient cash. MR. S. D . WADI»V, Q. C ., elected to the House of Commons, by a Liincoln- ahire constituency, to support Mr. Oladstono, is one of the best known law- yers in Iiondon. llo ia famed for his ability in ihe court room, whether ex- amiuing a witness or pleading before a jtiry. Few lawyers can, so well ns be, be stern, insinuating, indiguent, ])a- thetic, or sarcastiu at will. And then, when SUIHI LY comes around, he can go into the pnlpit and preach as good a nermcn as nlmost any of his Wesloyau brethren. U e has }:een frequently olected tn Parliament from a large and varied assortmrnt of constituencies. •ecwMrar, rtfAr ST sQcxaE soBse. I«lttntb*librwv -nlUxitf. WhU* aUAaee mbont me bM sway: BBttxoMd. ^th xny PfB for • me^W, Fraud monazeh of all I •nrrey. ^^d ^a^tnre'a ^r bosom ^e c While NIsbt, Mble eoddesi. ke«p« Tjcfl, Aad soothea tbe tired eye vitb bar toxliiL Mr arm gently rests on tbo table. K7 band softly pillovs ray brow; And masins, I calmly sit roodinc The tale I hare finlBhed'just now. I iroudor whose eres will peruse it. What pasHions Ite words will arouse. And wb«tberthcvH think of tbe author Who lives in thl» humble old bouse. What meant all thi» noiay, wild clatlar That does mr sweet silence affr1ebt7 • boys, tbe dear dsrlio B papa good-night. With abonts of Rlad glee and loud laughtsr. Arrayed in their «nr»wy white gowns. They cuine. little auccls of gladness. To smooth papa's wrinkles and frowns. After a caiefnl examination I had to re- port to the manager a broken arm and se- vere spinal injnries. • It was not altogether disinterested pi^ 'hich prompted me to insist on having the - jjured girl taken to my honse. For, in- side her dress, fastened around her neck by a silken cord. I found a tiny package which aronsed my cnriosity. I oonld not help somehow connecting her name and the package with myself. So she was carried np to my honse, and for several days my old housekcep^ and I de- voted the greater part of our time to nun- ing the nek girl. I was fearfol that she would be a cripple for the rest of her life, and so I had a celebrated Philadelphia phvsician come down to see her. His opin- ion was that she would get quite well, and very soon, too. e eyes tparkllng. omee and bright, Uy seek his aott arms now entwininc. Says ioyfuUy. \Pai»a. gcod-night t* 1 face all so handsom \CLTLZES\ S-^MUER. N. Ewiso, o f Minne&ota, hasten t a formal proclama- tion to (Vongrtss announcing himself as the Christ, W calling in all other rcTelatiuos. \Citizen Kwii^g,\ ho says, \requests the United States Govern- ment t o request the Governments of the world and dignitaries of tbo vari- ous fhurchert, religious sorieties or eoclesiastical bodic9,incIuding His Holi- ness, the Popo of Uorao, and the digni- taries of the Jewish Church, to meet in 'Washington City on tho 1st day of October, 1680, to consider the pr^cti- •ability of returning t o tho worship of one God, the Uuler of tho Universe, at the earliust practicable moment.\ OXE Italiiin resident of San Francis- co mado A uni([tio rooord b y smoking himself to death with a blanketed {-ca' ntit roaster, bnt his stylo was not oon- sidered good, because some of the charcoal fumes from the deadly woapon escaped and nearly sufibcated his wife, mother-in-law and three children into the harp-players' i>aratl»fiB along with him. The Chinoso and French, tho doctor observed, perform their last task in tho ossiest manner of most na- tionalities, the latter with their little charcoal-loade<l braziers, and^ [the former with opium. The smart China- man* who wants t o be gathered t o Con fuoius without any fcolishnens, usually haa somo knowledge of chomistry, and rams bis opium pill home with a drink of Tintfiar. Vinegar diasolves tho drug, forming an actire tincture, i n medical parlance, and eeta it t o work i n more of a harry than the lazy drng exhibits when it ia not driven by other amenta. TBR Gogebec country, says tbe Mil- waulkeo JScening WUconain, i s now the cynosnro of all eyes that long for the eight of wealtli galore, and the fairy land of thosu who find comfort in bsildiBfC caetlea i n the air. The coet mi4 aflMT-valne of air eaatlaa are aboot •q«al-^Bothin9->-aDd it k waate of time tolmUdthem . Bo t a ffood aaBjr aab- •tettlial caatlea with full t m Ex -TUEA3CNE« SPIX.NER writea a let- ter t o a Washington paper, in which he tells how the first employment ot female clerks in the Government ser* vice came about. General Spinner himself was tbc-first to suggest the in- novation, and urged upon the Secreta- ry of the Treasury and other officials tbat young women could not only d o much of the clerical work better and faster than men, but that they could be secured for half the wages. 3Ir. Spin- ner dwells particularly upon this point in his letter, and seems to plume him- self «piitc as much upon his economical notions as upon his part i n opening the departments t o women. The ex-Treas- urer i s entitled to limited thanks from the women employes of the Govern^ ment. Had h e omitted t o discrimi- nate against them i n th e matter of wages, they would rise up and call him blessed. A UALF-DOiiEN queer people were sent to tho Conntv Insane Asylum at a single sitting of tbe Brooklyn (N. Y.) City Court. One woman habitually piled her furniture in a heap, and as regularly thrashed her landlord when he called for her rent. Another be- lieved that tbo doctors who were at- tending her' had been dead and had returned from tho grave. A third be- lieved that she was gradually reduced to infantile weakness by a course of so- phisticated food, while a fourth always saw strange animals crawling over hex bed-clothes when sh o lay down at night. Ono male patient was i n con- ctont dread of rats, and i n search ot the Tied Piper'* for assistance, wbih} another believed herself to bo dead, and declined t o si)cak further tban to insist thai it was all wrong to expect a dead person to answer questions or car- ry on a conversation. TUE first annual report of the Ohio Stato Forestry Bureau shows a bad condition of things, and a worse pros- I>ect for the future. I n there were 13,991,420 acres of forest land i n Ohio, while i n 1884 there were only 4,4:^0,- 041, or less than one-third as many, the percentage of all tbo land in the Stato which was covered with forests having fallen from 54.19 t o 17.39. Since 1880 the forests have been cut away' at th e average rate of about 100,000 acres a year, which would leave '1,000,000 acres at tbe end of the cen- tury, and exhanat the whole anpply in forty-five years. One of th e worst features of the situation ia the wretched condition of much of the forest land atill remaining, a large part of it being half \cleared and covered with inferior trees and bnshea, while the really nable timber, even for fuel and fence rails, i s fast disappearing. Tho report concludes with a plea that legislation should encourage the preservation and improvement of existing forests, pos- Bweet Oriel quicklr comos toddling. And loringly clasplnc my knee, liooks np :n my fac«. sweetly lisping And tenderly lifting the prattlers, I hold them in fondest embrace, ^Vbile each little t>eggar I gladden By kissing each bright, pretty face. Bnt Charier, the dear little baby, Unable to 8i>eak his delight. In mamma's amis gleefully crowinK. With eyes says a glorious \Good-aifht 1* And Allie, my darling, bends o'er ma, Whilo bat>y sbe holdfl for a kiss; And I. than caressing our baby. Think a kiss on her lips not amIiS. Then gaylr ther go, nud departing. Ijeave me lUl alone in my deu: But I fullv knnw tbev are with me. And lend renewed force to my pas. A Woman and a Circus. ST W. H . .VTKNFSOS. REMIMSCEXCES OF PUBLIC MES * BY BEX: PEBLEY POOBE. loTer, soldier, larded. like mm ace: tbe psrd; Dan ol AVebster by his Xew Hampshire Iriouds, was one which CoL Jamea Wil- son used t o tell about his visit t o tb e house of a lawyer i n the Granite State in the spring o'f 1817. It will be recol- lected that the summer of 1816 was so cold that few crops ripened i a Kew England, especially potatoes. Among tbe few who put into their cellar a sup- ply of this vegetable was the lawyer at* whose liouse Ittr. \Webster was a guest, and h e saw them doled out to purchasers at large prices, for the ready ^ . ^ „ cash. One dav, in the absence of his Annette was verv pretty; not at all coarse entertainer, Mr. Webster was standing on the doorstep, when a poor man from that she-^nis far from nn ignorant ^ distant part ft the towi drova u p t o For • T iiiinV- T WM in !tho tho doorr withh a cartt andd oxen.. H e iigbing beardt. — ^ . justice, with fair round belly witn good caT>on lined; the liian and slippered pantaloon, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side, t o the last age that ends this strange, eventful history; from the- dawn of creation to the last ray of light, when decaying nature glides un- groaning t o the tomb, all these were represented, and blended in beautiful harmonv. I t was a beautiful picture to look upon, a scene where at a glance the past, the present, and the future coald be seen, the grandsire of four score years and th e grandchild ol jresterday, the innocence of youth, the buoyancy of manhood, the experience ol Tears. ^ BILL !nrE. •raoR. second time, I think, I was in love. Once or twice I ventured to ask Annette something of her parents and of her life, but she was verv reticent and I thought I could wait to know. One thing I thought I could not wait for, and that was, Annette herself. So when she was able to walk about the house and yard, I asked her if >be would not make my home her own, as my wife. She was profuse in her thanks for my hospitality, bat could not say \Yes.\ The utmos't I could get from her, was tbe promise of a definite answer in a dav or two. ilie second day after tbat I was out all day on a visit to a patient at a distant farm house. \When I returned I found a note Iving on the desk in my office, addressed to Dr. John Redfield—myself. I opened it and read: \ M T D EAB D OCTOR : Good-by. I have gone for good, and have token an unusnal •way of thanking you for your kindness. I know yon are curi'ons to learn the contents of the'package around my neck. I will tell you. Uiien 1 strack year ^Uage it con- Uiined twenty-two dollars, it is now some- what larger.'as I hare added four hundr**d dollars of yours which I managed to take from vour desk. I cannot very well marrj doo wit a car an oxen \ H e i Q»«>«««i>i»ry-H«»- •eemed a very clever, honest man, but | ca.uiid opi«i«« «r one j . r. much reduced i n circumstances, and ! M AT 1.—George and I were mamed was greatlv disappointei on learning j yesterday, quietly, by a justice of the that his errand was likely t o prove , peace. We did not have dear papa a fruitless. I t appeared from his own j consent, nor much of anythmg else. I statement that he had called somedavs [ never saw a justice of the in-ace l>efore. sibl j by wholly o r partly exempting wooded land from taxation; that every- thing practicable should b e done t o teach the proper care o f forests and the valne of timber t o fielda and crope adjoining; and that the ntmost pos- sible us e should be made of more a;.-ientifio mda to tree culture, anch as tbe observance of Arbor Day. Arrow Artl^ta. Th e prize oonteata of our ar^eiy clnba have developed many profleient •af^itariana, yet the apvr of ambition snub a s theirs can not compete with tbe atimnltia of neoeaeity. Th e Baah- kir nomada of the Caapiaa ateppea have t o anbaist partly o n ^ prodoeeot tlie cheae, but are too poor t o nee gra - Twenfy-fire years ago a circus was not such an overgroVn affair as it now is. A tent covering one wing, with a few modest sideshows, formed the entire pamphemalia before the «laya of - Triple-.\llied-Masto- don shows, with three cemrate rings, three sets of pexformcrs, and tnree bands!\ Twenty-five years ago I was a middle- aged man and a doctor, bnt I venture to say that I knew almost as mnch about the management of a circus as I did of pills and prescriptions. I resided in a consider- altle village in Ohio, and for twenty years I had visited every circus which had come within fiftv miles. You wonder why? Well, I will tell yon. When a very vonng man, just after re- ceiving my diploma and while the mystic letters M. D. tacked to the end of my name were still a pleasing noveltj-, I became en- gaged to tlie i)r.»tti{ Pt girl in tbe village. Folks said she was a litUc wild, but she never «efmetl so to me. I knew Phe was full of anhn-il spirits: I knew that she flirted a Utile, bnt, though I loved her dearlv, I was not in the least jealous. I think I loved Annette too well to mis- tmst her. I nUvnrs believed in girls, and boys too, havinK lots «f fnn, so long as there wnR jio wicliedness bnck of it. Thus it came to pass that -Vnnette went where and with whom sho pleased, with no word of interfere IK p from me. I have said teat we bccame engaged to be married. \W^ were to wait two years, dur- ing which time T hoped to build up a prac- tice wbich sboiiM warrant me in taking to mvsclf a v.ife and home of my own. The two vears flow bv. Everything T>TOfipered with ' me, and within three months I ex- pected to marry .Annette. .\bont tbat time a verj-small, \one-horse\ circns visit(:<l our village and made a two days' t:taud. Among tbo performers was baro'-back ridei, roughly handsome—ot the Sp.inifh gypsy tyi»e—bnt total!: edncatcd. Ho succeeded, however, in fascinating Annette. After the show left town .Annette and \Leon\ donbllcst; corresponded, though 1 never know it. Three months later, in the fall of the ve.ir and witLin a week of th< d.iy set for our wedding, the circus once more Oiimc to town. AVh^n it left, Annetti left too. I was terribly grieved. I was so grieved that I bccamc physically sick. But 1 was proud, too. and I would not assist in nnv moasnrcp for bringing the runaway bock. Indeed, bad siiv came back right kwav I do not think I would ever have martied h«r. M> was hnx^ and when one's pride ia wound«.l the sore is very sore. I tncd to pat Anu«»tt« ont of mv mind. I prospered m n.? profession, but I never married. I tbnik I alwavs yearned foi my wUd, lost love: foi, as the years rolled awav, nn nncosimlbibl* impulse sent me to every tirrus liiat came within reach ot ne. Hut 1 novo.- saw Annette, nor Leon, lither, Aia>P:t«b i mn«t have visited over a dozen Bbow* every sntnmcr. TwentT vcarv p-n^sed away, and I was a- lonely man on ts^ovhadvsideof for^. \The Great SIonR'tr Im-.n-rial Circus, ftesh from a triumphal tatxt through Europe,\ was ad- vertised «n make a stand in Comville. Of coutKc I went- There »» no printed K han been boQt (nm lb* Ms* thing to •iry nothii^MM, i a tt* now weei^Tf Ij Mnr*^ itoa' mpaDjr. Far iB-i th^TMn to m rmmitmm •tthiicitjr, whU* n p iiLtlMtoocdkM powJer, and eaa boaat of i that vonl d Duke Hanrioe ThomMOD atara, Thair vatatan hnntaia tbink nothing o l akewariag n long-lMj^ baro in inll'canar , or hitting a t^bt g bastard (OM» tarda), a laiga ba t ax- trema^T alqr'gaM Urd, at a diatanea of «rfty or«in«»y y!«ia.;Thajj UoaOnotinga * bMkwanl. Imt I mdd - - because I am married already. Di not feel hard toward me—your money may save mv husband's life, for be is at present , !ry Bick in Mexico. ••Once more, good-by, and thanks. \ANNETTE.\ Xo, I am not married, neither have I at- tended a circns for twenty-five years. 1 iia sbj', rather, of a woman and a circns. Tnrhrng a Pefiny. A very valtiable nervous tonic W ib e multitudinous cases of nervous dA»ility which are to be found among our young people i s . that afforded by tho excite- ment and pleasure of earning a little money. The occupation which leads to the receipt of payment is, in tho first place, healthful, b y taking th e mind off the especial form of j^uflering, In whatever .small measure; and th e ,ielight of receiving tho pay rcacts at once upon tbe nerves as invigot-atingly as mountain air does on the lungs. Tho invalids suddenly find themselves of uso i n the world, not mer» cumberers of tbo ground; they at oneo turn t o repeated eCforts; they find life fuller, brighter, radiant with hope; and b y chance o r necessity the work brings something to think about other than the daily disability and despairs, some- thing in which sc^f is lost; and plans are made and castles built, and often li«;aUh of body and mind i s restored by means of the I'ttlo income, which has value thus not only as a revenue but us a medicating force, and is tho clean- est money ever spent. N o drug in all the pharraacic.s is s o good a nervine as iiLs self help. Ijcforo such ner' tho children of luMiry and wealth th( chanco t o earn thisllrsl small si\m, with ])romise of more, is doing work as truly usoftil as that which calls itself philau- thropy on a larg«>r ar.d more ostenta- tious scale. Meauwhile perhaps th o gift of such opportunities i s able t o uct quite as strongly with tonic proper- ties for th o children of luxury and wealth, who cannot be stimulated b y the chanco t o earn a penny, but may be by the bestowal of tho chanoo so often i n their power. before and re.iuested t o be furnished with a few busliels of potatoes for I planting; but as he could not pay fox them down, he had received an evas- j ive answer. Bold from the necessity of his situation and the want of his I family, he had, however, hired a neigh- '. bor's team, and come over m*ith the for- lorn hope of teasing the fortunate man out of sufficient for a small crop. Mr, ; \Webster heard the countryman's tale, • and perceiving his downcast and sad- dened look on retiring, remarked to the lady of his friend that the poor man's case seemed an unusually hard one, as not only was he very poor, and • his family probably in want, but h e would undoubtedly be obliged t o give : a day's labor in return for the team he had'brought over on his fruitless er- rand, and said that if she would not object he would take the responsibility of furnishing the farmer his supply. ' To this sh e readily consented, and forthwith the lawyer followed the man , to his cart, and asked him t o drive ! round t o the bam. remarking that he ^ would see if he could do anything for ; him. The compliance was indeed . ready and joyful. I n the meantime, having bunted np a huge coal basket, holding a multitude of pecks and clambered into the potato bin, it was soon filled with a load at which even the giant Senator tugged right heartily. I t was filled several times, when the farmer said he bad re- ceived as many basketfuls as he had expected bushels. The lawyer inquired -if that were as many as h e could plant?\ \Oh no; but as many, h e feared, as h e should be able t o pay for.\ \Very well,\ said the lawyer, •^hore seem t o b e potatoes enough. How many can yoa plant?\ The other named a \ certun number of bushels, and the basket was once more i n mo- tion till it had i»assed the given num- H e was a taliish man, with an iron g»y shirt and a sunset nose. 1 did not like his appearance, but b e seem«^ t o understand his business fairly well, and so I ought not t o murmur or repine. Still h e was not a iran that I would want t o cling to. He looked t o me like a man who woubl snort arouml th e cemeterv and tear up the greensward when his wife died in the early spring, and friends would have t o chain him t o a tree somewhere till his grief ha d spent itself, and then in the early fall he would lower the top of his old con- certina i>lug hat and marry a reJ-eyed widow with a baritone voice and two son-i in the penitentiary. If any one had noticed me two years } ago, while I was reading \Claude Earls- • court's Kevenge,\ that >o soon I would be married in a dark, musty justice of i the peace's otHce. in the prtsence nf a drunk and disorJerlv, l»y a magistrate ! with a Titian uoso und a breatii that \ would eat a hole through a tin roof, : and that after the cercnsony George i aud I would fat a cheese sandwich at ; the station, and seal our union with a I large hunk of dai)i>lt«l sausage, I could j not, oh! I could not have believed it- ' T<»-day I am a wife with m y joyous girlhood, my happy home aud the jus- tice of the paece l^hind me. Life i s now real, life is now earnest, for w e have no girl. We will not keep a girl at first, Ooorge says, for if we did she would have t o board at home, as we have only one room, and it is not a very good room, either. We take our meals at a restaurant, and the bill of fare is very good. If we could ge t a.«« gcod a meal as w e could, neat, attractive and tvjiographic- ally correct bills of fare, 1 would be. oil, so glad. Hut we cannot. Wsterdiiy evening I wearied of th e pie at the'restaurant, and (Jeorge is j-assionately fond of p e, too; so I told him I woulil bake a pie for him -R-ith I«ek—« big ice crop. T b£ B £ ia always a '^fuU\ dd^atioB if ter the conventioii. A s AST inducement t o yonn^ men, it may be said that a good wife i s never a \ WHEN a man aings 'A Htmdred Fathoms Deep* h e ir^s t o go down to the C t o do it. A CHICAGO man, recently back from Europe, was asked what he thought of the scenery in Switzerland. \I don't mud i of it,\ he said, \it's too hilly. Give m e Illinois for scenery every time.\ \How IS your son getting along* Charlev?\ \Oh pretty well: only that he is a'little puffed tip with his own \ portance. Knows more than hi s father, you know.\ \Ah! then the hcfj is not qtiite an idiot I\ KED is th e favorite color of th e Chinese. They believe that it banishes evil spirits, and for that reason they hang red curtain-i t o their front win- dows. They ought not t o object t o painting the town red, and they n ber of times. , Tho lawyer then inquired of the 1 my own fair hands. I had never mau» farmer how h e proposed t o live and: a pie before all by myjrrrs-^f , but I support his family while these were wanted, oh. s o much, to mHlce some growing. «Oh,\ said he, \I intend to | kind of a dish that would delight-sy- lie. but toa-anl the end of the per- ring-ma.«rterannoti«ced witha loud voice, -SfndcmoiscHe AJOfEnx, thu Parisian piodigy.^ Aampion lady bare-back ' 'My earn could not have deceived me. Ha aid my -Annette;\ but, then, a thoosrad chances to one it was not my Annette. 8h« would be forty years old now—n^ a Ifkely as« for r. woman to show herself off M a ^.back rider. Still, for a second oi two, I was i a sttspente. Ua! tbe enrtain aexosa (be ontranee is pasheil back, the ringmaster ctaeka his whi p with a great and sonnding eiack, and two nulk.wfaite steeds cantcr into and •nan d tbo ring. Then the apoIoRy for a band starts up^ and, as tho horses near the entrance to the ling once mott». a gaudily thoosh aeaati^ •ttiied gbl rashes out. aad, amid a esac^- iBff of wliips, \hatrahs\ from the circus tSn , and a shriU \bonp-la!\ from heraeU, iMMataboundtotbebat ^ of one of the ut off the seed ends and plant them, aud save the other part for eating; we have nothing else.\ \But returned the lawyer, \in that case yotur crop may not'be so good. Here seem to be pofatoes enongh, and you had better take a few more bushels t o live npon Any ono who can place ( -n-iiile they are growing.'\ The man -nv.ilids as are no t protested he could not pay for them. Xo matter, hero are potatoes enough,\ and without heeding remcjistrances the lawyer tugged on till the cart was full t o overfiowing, and then bade the driver \go home and remain an honest man.\ His money-loving friend returned in duo time, and his wife breaking tho subject, mentionetl the visit and errand of the neighbor. \Of course yon gave him none,\ said he. \But he was very urgent.\ \.A.h he will never pay for them.\ Here the \defender\ took up the rase, if not with the energy with which h e met Gen. Hayne, yet with so much success that he caused his entertainer t o promise never t o ap- A DetlnctlAn Merely. Speaking of Chinamen, the historian feU in with one of the race as ho was whirling madlv ont >>Vashington street on the front platform of a car. Ex - traordinary a s i t may seem, the car ceas^ t o whirl for considerable periods now and then, and one of these ceases occurred directly in front of Jordan Marsh's store, where there wasn't much to gaze at except the dainty costumes displayed i n the window. S o the his- torian and the Chinaman gazed at the daintv costumes, and there was a very snpenor sort of amile c! early percepti- ble on tbe Chinaman's facc. \Not many dresses like that for the ladiea i n C^a, John,* saia the Cau- casian. 3ii e Chinaman's snpenor amile ex- tended noticeably i n either direction. \Chineae ladies no likee such dresa- ea,'*aaid he. *Too mnch cloth; likee •howama U feet. Melican lady heap biff feet\—and he measured off a space of about two feet i n the air with hia handa, \gottee wear bi g dress—no likee aliow feet*— ^ostori J^ecord. Where U Mej\\ aa j yo v vonl d di^for me. Yea, a thotiaand m inir%tV» orSlfe ciMMpiOM TEM BMI .UA TO]^ MM LOU-LMNR o ( lb* Stac k Btemll. ia hk -OaiiM a^ But it i« not AniMlM—at \ > Annette. Tbte U qniw > ytmmg I on t^that.ii«wl ulmtotke^'miite-ap'oi t>n.Mh ay fciftya ad on . tdd u io vUcIl k Ol^ iMei ply t o anv other person for his pay than the man who loaded the aart. President Lincoln wae very fond ol witnessing theatrical performances. He once broke an important engagement with a committee of Kew York bankers that h e might witness the \School for Scandal,\ and h e never failed to see Hackett whenever the comedian ap* peared as Falstaff. CoL Forney used to get bim t o attend the performances of Forrest, but h e never appeared to enjoy the gymnastics of tho muscular trag^ian. One eTening b^ witnessed - piece called the \Seven Sisters,\ i n -hich th e leadins actor, Mr. Mc- Donongh, introduced a varied assort- ment of jokes, puns, and decided hits, f them bell \And^o u for yon! -To« a nobta man. OMr^\ *H7 darlinc, jon ila not know ma ''^•11, dMiwt, I d o not vidi yo n t o aio la c M, but I will tall yon wbat yoa —- d o iar BM to abow yoar alTection.* -wSSta il. ny dJli«B» Shall I nl^* tka ataca tna a tha canUeaa SSat naUIaay«othaaea.lia! ha! ItaH yaaMrttaad iaeoiaalaBt hoon ita koi to;^ iw' liSEc UM kiUtoiawilh lakaaart ao t ahiaa o n II - 'AU I MK « L Toa ta some of the m of th e piece. to the author and others what were dear, brnnd-new htisbanil. Ho this morning, ^'hen Oeorge hietl him away to his business at the barber sho»», I went down stairs and askeil, us a slight favor, that the lady who runs the house would loan me her apron, her cooking stove, a pie plate, two lemons, a cup of sugar, some milk, etc., etc., as I de- sired to delight my new-found husband with a lemon pie on Ids return. All last night I feared that in my sleep I might allude to the prospectire pie, and thus give myself away, as one of our beat writers puts it; buti do not think I diiL Ho this morning, vrhen (Jeorge had gone, I built such a dear, little, ctmning pie, with lemons and everything that they put into a lemon pie. * Mrs Tease, who owns the house, told m e where everything was, and then I went to work. I made a very pretty little pie, and duted the edge* till it looketl as attractive as an old- fashioned pantalette. Mv heart bounded high as X thought what dear George would say, and how his eye would light up when he came home and saw it on the dressing-case. JovfuUy I put the stutling into the pie and IUCIOS ^ MI it. Then I put some real cute little slats across it diagon^- ly, so that it would please tho eye aa well as the pampered taste of m y oarn true love, for he is a man with tbe most delicate tast^, and -vhen bo is dressed for the day he always looks as though he was about to have his picture taken. I got the pie all ready and put it i n the oven. But after I had done so it occurred t o mo that I had not put any baking powder i n it, s o I took it ont and removed the lattice work from the i stUl features of the pie. Then I put i n do unless they are themselves molested, —Texas ^iftmgs. \PSHAW , Helen J \What a goose you. are to rtm away from the cows that wav. If thev were disjK)sed to devour any of the'part y they'd take your mother before they would you.\ can't understand why. i»a!\ •\Youi-an't eh? Well, isn't she past-Tour-a^e, I'd like t o know?\— I'onkers OazeUe. THE PAR.LE HE>- TO HF-B BBCMJO. -Ileftb. Ton to ttU Ga-wcf %VMhinfflaa Ituchiunn Jackson Smir ^^ To citBf anJ I'ut he ra. Or I'U knock m bliC. \An\ 'Lisal.itli Virtori*. An«l Lily Ijmstry J»no. Tou l>e»\ conie ta inriLb to jout mx, Outen aUltatr«.in.- —PitUburgK Commfr.-ui: G urti''. \DOES your husband write his own stories or'does he keep an amanuensis V\ \He does all hia writing himself.\ \I should think he would lind it so much ea-ier t o have an amanuensis, and he i s well able t o afford one.** \That's true, but he is of so genial and kindly a dis- position that he could never dictate to anyone.\—iiostou Courier, THE SIAI.E RRIHT. -HOTT B-weet, bo* calm, bov fine tbe cijbt: Tbe stars are beaattful taa bri^tt. liut Bot m, Bt&r in all the »kies 1» half bright as yonr bright ejn . -The hwe th^-ir i<eriumca ehetl. Thf rw-fs bfaatifullT re^l. Bat r«»»ldt-r i« the tint that j:lo-»i In yoar Xair chocks than any rose. -Tb« lily is without a t-i>eck. Bat ralrer, whJter is your neck. And brightly r ^ the cberrirs are. lint your sweet lips ktc rtnlder iux. -Ste^t is the M.ni?-bir.l-s meUnly. But sweeter ia vo:ir voice to m*-.' Tb.' pcutJe maiden raised ber head— -lUt«fche shrieke.!, and fwiftly fledl -2;.-.-oil four.rr. PKTEOLKrM i s the topic of the oiEce, drawing-room, and workshop, and a great part of our T»eople think only cf oil, talk oil, and dream oiL Hiss Jen- nie Smit^ the railroad evangelist, who hiis l»eeu laboring here, when leading other dav approach^ at^the train Captain V—a well-known operator, who was standing on the platform, took hand, as i s her custom, and a«»ked': \B^Cr you on the rock ^Z? — tain absent-iaindedly but plied: \We are two bits i n the sand, and gushing like blazes.\— Fittshurgh HassJ'r there been five or six mur- ders here i n the last month?\ ask- ed the new assistant of a Montana editor. \Yes.\ \And a dozen fights a tlav?\ tl should judge so.* \With Ivnchings thrown i n occasionally r -'We have 'em off and on-'* \And still vou insist that I begin the account of this shooting affair, 'This tisu^f I>eaceful communitr was thrown into great excitement, ctc.*?\ \Certainly sir, certainlv; that i s always cub^omary all over the world. When my own time comes and somebody pumps m e full of lead use the aame form.\— E^'telline BelL They Cage Tbelr GirlSa Consul Griffin, at Sidney. 3»ewSouth Walea, eontxibutes t o the SUte De- partment an interesting description of the inhabitants of Ne w liritatn, a n island i n the South Paofic Ooean. «.>ne of their cnrions customs, he says, ia that of confining th^ gtfls i n cag^ nntU ^ey are old - X known in theatrical parlance as \gag^\ Mr. liincoln was s o well pleaMd with what he saw and bean! on the oocasioo that he wrote a complimentarr note to Mr. McDonongh a few days afterward, cordially inTitioK him t o call at the White House. The actor accepted tho invitation extended t o him; and made his bow at the Whita Hoose next daj. Mr. Lincoln receiTed him warmly, told him how mnch h e was delighted with the-Seven SUters,- and pre^hia to redta the jeiuc dfetpnt which had pleaMd him s o mnch. Mr. He - Donongh cheerfnllr complied, and th* resnlt of tbe oonlare» » w a haa»j tof tbe rtpertoire o l ra-en force Presidantial jokea. AtthaMayBaUgiTCaa* tkai blyrooniainl8«2 .tha iMBOta quite a lot of Hoda or b iking-powder that I secured from the npjier drawer in the pantry. I then Mjated mjrself at the casement, and while the pie wsa baking, I sang a low refrain, meantime nimbl j constructing a few jards o l rick-rack, ol which I am paiaiunately fond. While thns engaged, the oven door was blown off the hinges, and the m was filled with a subtle odor of soma kind which I conld not describe. Wa pnlled the pie off the celling, and tha carpenter has been a t work o n th a wo^work of th e honse fo r am hour o r so, trying t o make i t look natural again. Mrs. Feanc aaja aba don't know what I put into the pii^ whether the baking-powder was a littU remnant of percnsaion that her hn^ band left wbea he died, or a disrardaj seidUtepowder. but that I thankful to many - The cag« sre made of the twigs of the palm trees, and tho girls are pnt mt o them when only two or three years ol age. These cages arc built insade-JJl? houses, and the girls are never aUowed to laavaihe houses under any circnm- Btances, and are only taken out once a day t o bo washed. Th e houses them- aalves are cOosdy fenced i n with a sort of wicker work made of reeds- ^ enfa- lation under the circumstances i s made wry difficult. Tbo girls ai » said to_ groV up strong and healthfal ia apite of tbeia disadvutagea. They TaEr XlVrllOL \I can not travel o n th e «ara al , night,\ said Congnssms n BojW Pennsylvama. '•Whr^' asked a oolieagne. - - in that dre \Because I waa i dreadbdao-. be tool 1 tiiat it Idaw I George inserted it iaia bia tne inward- ' Xo-aoRowImaytiyttacaiB, aad I vwomnMdwitli dl titooBiDS ataca aaddl«attr- 8animadedl» bar loyal aabjaeta wSm ai«a»j«d ^ tVoy. waa naiad ia aiate .aBd n«n«d tha honors dwbariMik. Tka daaciag proved tbioagk^ tlia emiafc tha yooag I aiac thadaaaa aad wl^ to ddaia ia yaata onta tta aad of tha . Tbalillte world wh o eon- »« • thia . — 1 «1iil «ity wbea 11 imriaili-\- be to eookatBW of theaaaa »«el- ored dovhaala with afiertarea ia tha oeater if I caa. I want to do nm- Ifaa (to friend)—Ton didnt i treat that gentleman with pt\' Friend—' I spoke rather TongbIy,1 admit.' Ifaa--TM hava daagad towaid Mm. -^othgdaylaawy,.«»dia- ^rriiai ?K««,ha«fad;»athi^>»> dden t Ml the Toughioghney U^ lai j Kovember,- answered Mr. Boyle. lav for Sr e horns under tb e ar to my no€* i n th e freaongi^waMi; fS iadeed,* retorted bis viciana- mli^oa. -and H also explaina jcmt - mkm to o(dd water.* • - Coagteanaen taka ^ipallinK m with each other.—Aon lorJ^:-^, X XcwWcfWCM-1 Jiruda, my love <hic). amftm^ •ew material bae» found (teet.^Wiilh '^Whatiait.prayf- ^ ' -iMatheqr fmigoid. To« (hic) it ia water aadit tahea aiV (1»> A eraat aawias. doet yoe aeai\ r«a a na,piacm;anr Mdaoat otit. -Go aodcitil ^ Ita^Mtdtartbe ab*e,1*t t o aofaar joa mp a fiW&l Bald it
