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PAGE 18 PRESS-REPUBLICAN FEATURES MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1.3,1995 Enjoyed letters on ASK ANN LANDERS CHqrles D ear Ann Landers: I enjoyed reading all those letters in your column about taking Latin. Not long after you printed those letters, I came across a column by Keith Lawrence in the Owensboro, Ky., Mes- senger-Inquirer. It re- ally struck my funny bone, and I thought your readers should see it. How about it, Ann? Latin Lover in Kentucky R eader: I loved it. Thanks for sending it on. Here it is: Dear Ann Landers: I see a high school student has written you seeking advice on whether to take Latin. I'm sure you've had tons of responses from former students. May I add my two cents? Tell that kid to run like a bunny in the other direction. Don't even go near a Latin class, or you, too, could find yourself on the side of the highway with a blue light flashing in your rear- view mirror. I know. It happened to me. When I was in high school, someone suggested that those who hoped to go to college take three years of a foreign language. Problem was, our school only offered two years each of two foreign languages. So you had to take Spanish and Latin. Latin was sort of a secret language. Like Klingon. No- body spoke it but priests. Latin was as foreign as you could get in rural Kentucky in the fall of 1962. But it wasn't all that hard to learn. And there were useful phrases. \Veni vidi, vici,\ which is what Julius Caesar said when he confessed to spouse abuse — \I came, I saw, I conked he?.\ Latin can get you in trouble with the law. It happened like this: Latin students joined something called the Junior Classical League, which is like a gang with secret words. The JCL ended each year with a banquet. Everybody had to dress in togas and come to the high school at night for the banquet, which was eaten while lying on the floor, Roman-style. Have you ever tried to eat in mixed company while lying on the floor wrapped in a bedsheet? Plus, you had to get to the school, which was 12 miles from my house. I had a brand new driver's license in the spring of '63, and I just had to drive to that banquet. My mother finally got an old sheet pinned around me. And then, it hit me. I had to drive 12 miles down U.S. 60 in a bedsheet — and it was still daylight. Rural western Kentucky is not where you wanted to be seen dressed in a bed sheet in 1963. So I waited till there was a break in the traffic, - hiked up my sheet and sprinted to the car. I was doing just fine until I got behind a slow-moving tractor. Is there another kind? I was running late, so I passed him on the edge of a no-passing zone. A state trooper was coming the other.way, and he made the most perfect U-turn you ever saw. Then I saw the blue lights flash. Inputted to the side of the road, and I heard him say, \Get out of the car.\ If you look in the dictionary under \humilia- tion/ 1 you will find a picture of me wearing a bed sheet standing on the side of the highway talking to a state trooper who can't stop laughing. So, Anr, tell that kid to avoid Latin like the plague it is. Keith Lawrence, Owensboro, Ky., Messenger- Inquirer R eader: You told him, in a way that beats anything I might say. P.S. I did not take Latin and have regretted it ever since. Gem of the Day: You don't have to go to medi- cal school to learn that lending money to rela- tives can cause amnesia. For your personalized daily Jeanne Dixon horoaoope band on your birthdate, call 1-900-988-7788 Phone company will bill you 9S#/minute. By JMM Dixon Monday, Nov.mb.r 13,1995 ARIES (March 21-April 19) — Annoyance could overtake you if others, including your loved ones, impose on your good nature. Strengthen an alliance with an important business contact; new con- tracts could result. ' TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — Back up your intentions with an educational program. Cultivating powerful acquaintances will help you obtain new financial backing. Banish timidity and become more assertive. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — You cannot afford to be emotional now. Let your shrewd instincts help you separate money-making ventures from losing propositions. Nothing escapes your notice. CANCER (June 21-July 22) — Although a delay may concern you, loyal supporters see hopeful signs. Make a special effort to mend some emotional fences. Prominent friends offer valuable advice. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — An aura of good luck surrounds your real estate dealings. Keep abreast of new trends in your field. Be sure to consult a personnel expert if job-hunting. Carefully weigh the deci- sion to change careers. ' VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) - The ability to speak a foreign lan- guage helps you beat out the competition. Pay overdue bills to pre- serve your credit rating. You do well when left to your own devices. Assist a friend in need. LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22) — Brooding over problems will only make them worse Heed your intuition. The loose ends of vour private life THAT SCRAMBLED WORD GAME by Henri Arnold and Mike Argirion Unscramble these four Jumbles.- one letter to each square, to form four ordinary words. CHITH r > 0i 995 Tribune Media Services me Rs Reserved TOAFO SAMTIG EOPING Maybe ihey can tell us where we ere SPOTTING A TENT MEANT THIS TO TUB LOST HIKERS. begin to come together. Partners and friends deserve special con- sideration. Beware of romance on the rebound. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) — A move to a different location works to your advantage. Welcome a change of environment and new friends. Showing family members extra consideration will reduce any tension due to the transfer. Romance again flourishes. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) — An excellent work performance cannot be ignored. Showcase your talents to best advantage. Gener- ous words and deeds help heal old wounds. Defer to your mate or partner's wishes where your finances are concerned. Curb spending. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - Focus on personal interests and priorities. A project in the planning st ge could become a reality. A neighbor wants to involve you in a new venture; say \no\ if money would be involved. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) — Resist an urge to splurge on some- thing you cannot afford. A homeless animal could become a new member of the family. A spontaneous invitation transforms an otherwise humdrum evening. A local event requires reservations. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) — Former classmates share interesting news. A child needs special help with a school project. Give guidelines instead of taking over! A romantic partner wants to sur- prise you with a wonderful evening. Avoid asking questions. TODAY'S CHILDREN are self-assured, dependable and hard working. Highly intuitive, they often know exactly what you are thinking! Count on them to be punctual and polite on the job. Their dry wit attracts many admirers. Trust them to be selective when making friends. These Scorpios feel most comfortable with people who share their high standards. They delight in sharing their talents and will work hard to develop them. Never break a promise to these trusting souls. Their word is their bond. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Promising business opportunities arise thanks to your well-known diplomacy. In December, new relationships help you climb the professional or social ladder. Your cash flow improves early in 1996, allowing you to pay off old bills. Work hard. A new sense of purpose will revitalize your career. Travel sets the stage for happy romance. A wedding could take place by this time next fall. CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: actress Whoopi Goldberg, ac- tress Madeline Sherwood, author Robert Louis Stevenson, baseball player Mel Stottlemyre. Get biopsy over with Ask the Doctor Print answer here : A Now arrange the circled letters to form the surprise answer, as sug- gested by the above cartoon. r \w\ i A^ Saturday's (Answers tomorrow) Jumbles GRIEF PILOT JUNIOR OMELET Answer. What playing with his son was to him — UPLIFTING CROSSWORD by THOMAS JOSEPH ACROSS 1 Mexican restaurant treat 5 Code name 10 On the roof of 11 Baltimore player 13 Burrowing critter 14 Poked 15 Beg 17 Actress — Marie Saint 18 Set aside 19 Ewe's mate 20 Foot part 21 Dole (out) 22 College groups 25 Heals 26 Tibetan monk 27 Youngster 28 Blvd.'s kin 29 Exec's shoe 33 Title of respect 34 Title of respect 35 Cutlery 37 Writer Oz 38 Break away 39 Budget amount 40 Nymph chaser 41 Prohibi- tion backers DOWN 1 Circus worker 2 Make amends 3 India- napolis team 4 \The Mikado,\ for one 5 Western desert 6 Speak 7 Eve, originally 8 More sedate 9 Raise 12 \Daniel Boone\ S|T|P|A|T|S«S|H U R A N IAIPA M A S T EK)Bo L ,P i TIHISMPIOIS •7 [S|E |c| L |R|A I A| v IPII I E | V AlRllMlElNjT • A[J1A Rilo EbOA R K[ATN xMc|Els|Tli A^KISIIL^ 1 I|N N|E D S 1 T NW M I^IIVM LlElT 1 DMMU R 1 N E N|EBA|L|G|O|R|E E|RHT|E|E|T|E|R Saturday's Answer costar in slang 16 Cupid 29 Like an 21 Truck untended flap garden 22 Whiskey 30 Stop- holders watch 23 Chasms 31 O. Henry 24 Patriotic forte tune 32 Nui- 25 Five, sances to Fifi 36 Poodle 27 Face, doc Q: I have had psoriatic arthritis for years. The psoriasis part mostly is on the buttocks, elbows and knuckles. The arthritis part has affected my finger and other joints. I don't get around very well. I have been on methotrex- ate for some time, and my doctor tells me I require a liver biopsy, even though blood tests show my liver is OK. Is a liver biopsy re- ally necessary? I am frightened. What should I do? A: Have the biopsy and get it over with. It won't harm you. Methotrexate can play havoc with the liver, and a biopsy can help keep track of that. Blood tests, too, indicate liver damage occurring, but the true test is the biopsy, for it can show evidence of liver effects before the blood tests ever become positive. You've got the misfortune of dealing with a con- dition that has two targets: the skin and joints. With psoriatic arthritis, joint symptoms might not parallel either the onset or course of the skin disturbance. But methotrexate helps control both elements of the disease. Most authorities recommend periodic biopsy while the patient is on the medicine. The biopsy experience is not that daunting. The surgeon numbs the skin over the liver location, then inserts a hollow needle to the depth of the organ. He then sucks out a bit of tissue to examine microscopically. It really is not all that painful. For more on arthritis control, see my arthritis report. Readers can order a copy by writing: Dr. Donohue - No. 2, Box 5539, Riverton, N.J. 08077-5539. Enclose $3 and a self-addressed, stamped (55 cents) No. 10 envelope. Q: I can add something to the item on back pain. I would suggest to doctors that they check out the fat wallets of their male patients. Many of us carry around wallets full of credit cards, business cards, pictures and money. Airline pilots, truck drivers, cabdrivers, policemen and others ride around for hours sitting on their wallets. I suggest they try moving their wallet to a nonhip pocket. It helps. It has for some of my co-workers with back pain. A: The \fat wallet syndrome\ has been mention- ed in this space before, but it is worth recalling for readers. Men are the usual victims. As you suggest, pressure of the fat wallet can affect the nerves, bringing on sciatica. I should have mentioned this in a recent discus- sion of that condition, so I'm glad you brought it up. Incidentally, changing the pockets can save a lot of wear and tear on the wallet, which deteriorates badly from back-pocket buffeting. ( I T I E?IDNf ! KN0$ THAT TROOPS FROM THE FOREIGN LE6I0N ROPE THE SCHOOL OUR CAMEL BROKE POWN DICK TRACY Locher and Collins MOTHER GOOSE AND GRIMM Mike Peters IMLEAVING YOUANPI'M NEVER COMING SACK BLONDIE VJHSM NOSTRAPAMUS AMP HIS WIFg F0Q6HT Young & Drake YOUR APPLICATIONS ARE ALL IN ORDER...VOU CM START REMODELING &S SOON AS YOU'VE PASSED YOUR INSPECTION I'VE 06EN HERE FOB -THREE OMtt TOTING It) SET A PERMIT FOR NW BUSINESS AND I'M SICK AND TIRER BUREAUCRATIC BALONEY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?.'.' SICK! SICK! SICK! I'M REALLY 6OINS TO MISS TMlS PLACE BEETLE BAILEY Mort Walker WHY AM I LYING HERE WATCHING THIS PUMS AAOVIEINTHEMIPPLE OF THE PAY? WHERE'S BEETLE? Wh'6 6UPPO6EP TO BE CLEANING THE LATRINE// SHOE Jeff MacNelly I GUESS THIS IS PROGRESS... I'VE MOVED FROM COUCH POTATO TO MOUSE POTATO. CALVIN AND HOBBES Bill Watterson BRRR, ITS FREEZING OOT TUERE.' I DONT WAHT TO LOWE. W NICE WNRW BED. 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