{ title: 'Washington County advertiser. (Fort Edward, N.Y.) 1881-190?, April 07, 1880, Page 1, Image 1', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87070275/1880-04-07/ed-1/seq-1/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87070275/1880-04-07/ed-1/seq-1.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87070275/1880-04-07/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87070275/1880-04-07/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
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Com (. A. Xasn. Poniusurn. FOL. I. cvcial: SANDY HILL, WASHINGTON CUFN'I‘VY, N. Y.. APRIL 7, 1880. Tounty and General News. AQuertiser, - To Crnts Pur Y Ean. N(). 20, TIME TABLE. CLEN'S FALLS BRANCII-D. & H. C. Co's R. R MINCE LL A NV. In effect January 15th, 1880,. oem pa { #T 40 4 O6 1 Leaves - |A. MJA. M.A. M.P. M.P. M. P. M. Walked Out f 1 Glons Falls 7.05%, 9.20+, 11.80 | 2.05 | Sanday Hin | Pid | 9.50 ; 1145; 2.15 | 510 | 6.40 5.00%; 6.251 an Ft Ed | Tab (10.10 | 12.00‘ ams | seo | ass | ! Nontk- | i | ( Leaves -- (A) M.A. M. A. LJP. M.P. M. P. M. FL Edwr‘d' 7.85 7.10.80 12.15 | 8.85 | s.40 | 7.05 t Sandy Hill 7.50 | 10.40 | 12.90 | 8.45 | 5.45 5 7A5 . 1 | Ar G. Flls. 8.10 110.50! 12.45 | 8.55 i 6.00 ql 185 i I (doo s *Meet trains for Troy and Albany. +Meet trains for Whitehall and the North, Kight Express for Albany leaves Ft. Ed, 10.4 5P. A/ Kight Express for Montreal leaves Ft Rd, 1.30 4, / Ko trains on this brach meet the Night trains. SOCIETIES. The Regular Communications of Sandy Hill Lodge No. 372 F. and A. M., are held at Masonic Hall on the First and Third Tuesdays of each month, at 7 o'clock P. M. J. S. Setppy, Master. Q. Gov, Secretary. The Regular Convocations of Sandy Hill Chap- ter No. 189, R. A. M., ave held at Masonic Hall on the Second and Fourth Tuesdays of each month, at T o'clock P. M. S B. Ameer, High Priest. J Secretary. -- i Arcturus Lodge No. 55 I. O,. of O. F., meets every Wednesday evening at 7? o'clock, at Odd Fellow's Hall. H. B. Vavoxs, N. G. C A. Waite, Secretary. Kingsbury Lodge, No. 208, Ancient Order of United Workmen, meets at the Masonic Lodge Room on Second and Fourth Monday evenings of each month. S. B. Amster, M. W. J S. Cooury, Recorder, Sindy Hill Lodge, No. 126, Empire Order of Mutual Aid meets at Masonic Lodge Room the 181 and 3d Monday evenings of each month, J. H. Durkee, President. J S. Cooley, Secretary. l)l~INNIS J. SULLIVAN, Attorney and Counselor AT LAW. Office in Middleworth's Block, Main Street, Saxby HILL, - - NEw York. l-me Removal! MERCHANT TAILOR, AND DEALER IN Gent's Furnishing Goods. a haystack, and his arrival started a grin court room like a tramp crawling out of which broadéned and beomed until ev- erybody laughed outright. He had first fallen into the mud. Then he had tum- bled over an ash-heap to set the color. In bunting for a roost, he had crawled into a box of hay, and hay stuck to him like the Common Council to a bad nomination for office, A piece of skin was gone from his nose. his ear was bloody, and in pull- ing him off Ius nest the police had torn his coat from top to bottom. Bijsh of- fered to bet all his Mexicans war medals against a nickel that James K. Polk was the worst looking prisoner in North America, but there was no takers. \I plead guilty,\ said James, as he squinted up at the court. \To what?\ \To anything you want me to.\ \Prisoner at the bar, you can go,\ re- plied the judge. \War to?\ \Out of doors! You can't plead guitly to any thing in this court.\ 'Why can't I?\ ''Because you can't. If you think the people of the State of Michigan are going to scrape you off and rub you down you are mistaken. | Go right out of doors!\ \Judge I demand to be tried!\ \I don's care-go on!\ \Judge I've got a right to be tried, same as other folks, and I- can't be bluffed off.\ put him out,\ answered the court, and Bijah fastened lus cant-hooks into James K. and rusned him out, leav- ing the air full of hay, and ashes, and coat lining. The prisoner crossed the street in the mud, stood - for awhule to reflect, and fi- nally came back, looked into the window and shonted: \Say Judge, I demand to be tred for being a hog.\ $-- BHERRILL'S BLOCK - SANDY HILL, 1-y W I L B E R, MANUFACTURER OF FINE LIGHT CARRIAGES, AND WA Repairing a specialty ; orders promptly attended to. SANDY HILL, WASHINGTON Co., N. YJ 5- ESTABLISHED IN 1860, 1\ EW LIVEKY. THE BEST BCGGIES AND NEW SIDE BARS IN TOWN, WITH NEW HARNESSESS, LAP ROBES THROUGHOUT. Rarouches and four-seated rigs a speciality. &#~ Thankful for past favors would solicit a continuance of the same. w. H. MIDDLEWORTH . THOMAS BRICE, B U I L D E R, Sampy Hinu, N. Y. Manufacture of Sash, Blinds, Doors, Dour and Windou Frames, Mouldings, Brackets, all necessary articles for building, Sawing, Planing, Band Sawing, &c. Too Much In: erence. '_ If you hand three pennies to thestamp- clerk at the post- office he infers. His (inforence is that you want a three-cent stamp, and he shoves one at you rather quicker than lightning. | His inference holds good on to cents and a single penny, cand he hits it ninty-nine times out of a hundred. | He, however, got left yester ‘day. A bulky, slow-moving old woman came in with half a dozen things to mail, and her first move was to hand in a three. He retaliated with a green {cent piece. stamp, but sheshoved it back with / the {remark: \Who said I wanted a three? three ones.\ She licked them on with great care, rnd then handed in three pennies, The clerk this time threw out three ones, but she rejected one of them with the indig- nant protest: \What are you trying to do? I want a two and a one.\ In due time she had licked these on as well, and then she handed in four cents. The clerk scratched his head, hesitated, threw out a three and a one. Sce here, young man, you're getting perfectly reckless!\ she exclaimed, as she glanced at thestamp. 'I want a stamped \Lenvelope for that.' She got it, and the clerk made up his mind that he would catch her on the next sile or resign his position. | She (iive me =-- toe a quiet looking horse attached to an un- So- - attractive James K. Polk Saunders came into the bells shad-bellied of the species rough, whom 'much loaf- Fooling With a Quaker, He wore a wide-rimmed hat and coat, from Bucks county to the land of North- ampton,. He was observed by a fellow He was a peaceable looking man, with pretty extensively was greatly perplexed : & . to understand how it was that other per- sleigh, with unostentatioub|sons were waited upon promptly and as he drove easily he was entirely ignored and could not down the south-eastern hill, journeying How to Get a Dinner, A gentleman who had travied about well served at the hotels, while scarcely obtain a square meal-complain to the waiter as he might. At last his eyes were opened to the dodge of freing the waiter liberally, and being of an in- ing had made impudent, and who lifted! genjous turn of mind he determined to up his yawp: \S-a-a-y bat, where are you going with the man.\ «Verily, I journey beyond the river, friend,\ mildly responded the Quaker, \and thither goeth my hat, also.\ 'Hold , and take a fellow along can't you?\ dalled out the man of wrath, ''Nay, friend, my business and incli- nations forbid it.\ \I'll soon fix that.\ and the fool ran forward and jumped on the runner. Verily, friend, if thee insists upon getting into my vehicle, I will even help thee,\ and the man of peace reached out his right hand as restless as an oyster dredge. -It caught the youth around the throat worse than a four-year-old ciph- theria, jerked him into the sleigh and| slammed him down among the straw,) where he got trampled on by a pair of No. 18 cowhides until he thought he had got caught out ina shower of pile dri- vers. Finally he got a kick that lifted him clear over the side of the sleigh and run his head into the bank by the road- side, where be dwindled down in a heap like a gumshoe discouraged by a street- car, and murmured as he rubbed lis en- sanguined nose in the snow: \Who'd ever thought the cast fron man goes around with steam up, and dis- guised as a blamed old quaker.\ improve upon the plan. Thenext hotel he dined at he took his seat very pom- pously at the table, and took out' a well- filled pocketbook, extracting therefrom a ten dollar bill, which he laid on the white cloth beside his plate, and placed bis goblet upon it. In an instant almost he was surrounded by waiters, who seemed to vie with each other in atten- tions. Every wish was anticipated and all the delicacies of the kitchen and pan- try were placed before him in tempting array. Having fared as sumptously as a prince-to the envy of many of the gruests-he took up the greenback, and, beckoning to the nearest waiter, was im- mediately besieged by half a dozen or so. Holding the bill in one hand, he pointed to it with the other and inquired of the crowd:; \Do you see that bill?\ A Green Hand. One of the plumbing establi«lment of Danbury took in a new jour. the other day. He was fiom a hamlet over in New York State-a little hamlet where he had worked with his father. The day after his arrival there was a burst in the water pipe of a house over on Pine street, He was told to go over there and attend to it. Seeing the owner of the houme in the shop, he went up to him and got the par- ticulars of the bresk, and then made ready his tools and started. Just as he was pawing out Of the door the proprietor saw him. 'Where are you going?\\ he almost screamed. The new man told him. *Do you mean to tell me that you are going up there to fix that pipe without examining it?\ he gasped. «Why, I am going to look at it when I get there,\ said the new man. Merciful heaven!\ ejaculated his cm- ployer, catching hold of the desk to sup- port himself. \Can it be possible that you would do a job at one visit: Don't you know your trade any better than that? Have you no pride in your busi- ness? Why, you'd ruin the entire com- munity in less than a year.\ And the \Oh yes, sir,\ they all exclaimed in chorus. \Then take a good look at it,\ he re- plied, 'or you will never see it again.\ Saying which he departed, leaving the waiters aghast. He Got Ris Answer, In New Hampshire is a well-known eccentric - individual, - selfconstituted curer of all ills-a sort of panrcea, 'body and soul. head, heart and conscience ---+4+---- Cheek Never Pays. The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. nor is it the man with the largest mouth who gets most favors in this world. Yesterday forenoon a very quiet stranger entered a veal estate office on Griswold street and softly asked if he could use a blotting: pad a moment. One was handed him. and he sit down to a table, looked around, and said: ink?\ They were furnished him. 'He tried the pen on the pad, shook the ink around and modestly continued: \If you could spare a sheet of paper.\ A sheet was handed him. | He wrote a brief note, folded it up, and whispered; \I shall have to beg an envelope of you.\ An envelope was passed over. and when he had directed it he looked all over the table, under the table, up at the céiling, and inquired: \You couldn't lend me a stamp, could you?\ A three-center was handed out, and when it had been licked on, the stranger rose and started out, saying: \As you have no office boy I suppose I shall have to take this letter to the office myself.\ Pussy. A bashful young peasant was greatly captivated by the charms of a pretty girl in his own station of life: he was exceed- ingly anxious to ask her to marry him: and had often resolved to do so, but so far his courage had always failed him when the opportunity arrived. However {~ Agent for Washington County for Wolfs posted several packages, and then saunt-| one night he resolved to hear his fate in Prtont Blind Hinge and Fastener 1-y l 71 OUSE PAINTING, Graining, Kalsomining The undersigned, having purchased a set of Patent Metailic «Gaining Tools. are prepared to Weciaim one man can do more work with these fouls in one day than two can the old way. Samples of execute all kinds-of House Graining. work shown on applicitier to D. T. NASH, JOB PRINTING NEATLY DONE * AT THIS OFFICE. SANDY HILL. N. Y. ered up and laid down a penny, That could only call for a penny stamp, and the young man chuckled as he tore it off. ped the woman as she drew herself up. *A penny stamp.\ «Who asked for a penny stamp?\ *You put down a penny.\ «So I did, but I was a penny short on Cartier No.8 yesterday, and 1 wanted you to hand it to him.\ For the next hour, when any money was laid down the clerk asked what was spite of his modesty, so he started off to spend the evening with her, When he arrived. to Iris joy her parents were from \What are you giving me now!?\ snap-| home, and she was seated knitting at the | | Kitchen fire, with a big cat lying at her feet. Jamie sat down beside her, but not a word could he say, till, at the end of half an hour he inwardly resolved to \finish this business,\ so, acting on a happy thought, he placed the cat upon hi#knee and stammered forth: \Pussy wanted. \Pussy tell Jamie I'll take him.\ \Ah thanks but have you pen and!} doctor, who, with all his eccentricities, tras a fund of actual wit that is hard to beat. Not long ago the doctor was called up- speaker burst into tears. As soon as he grew calmer he ex- plained to the new man that he should first visit the house, making a thorough examination of the building, get the lay of the streets, find the location of the nearest hydrant, go up on the roof of the house and then return thoughtfully to the shop for his tools, keeping an ac- curate record of the time. ' #4 --- Ke Wanted To Arrive, He had a dirty handkerchief around his neck, no linen duster on, no fan in hand, none of the ordinary murks of a tow ist; only a weary look, a tired, unsat- on -the witnesestand. _ The opposing ”xix whistle with \licker pizen,\ know- jing the doctor's peculiarities, ventured, bit. \What is your business?\ pompously inquired the counsel. \My business is to do what little good I can do to my feHow-man,\ modestly replied the doctor, 'But that doesn't answer my question,\ gruffly answored the counsel, | **How do you spend your time?\ \Why. squire, it takes about all my time to do what 1 said,\ replied the doe. tor. \But I want something more definite\ stoutly demanded | the counsel. - \How do you go about your business?\ \That depends: upon - cirumistances, according to the nature of the case,\ ex- plained the doctor. - \For instance, if I ‘wurn going to begin on you, the first thing I should do would be to advise you | to sign a temperance pledge!\ -o 4 +--- \IMErss®? A women who opened a small millinery store in the western part of the city en- gaged a painter to paint her a sign. When it came home the other day she saw that it read: \Miss J. Blank,\etc. and she called out: i 1 ;y0u must paint that sign over again.\ The painter saw the error, but he didn't want the job of correcting in, so he replied: \Madam haven't you had two hus bands?\ \Yes sit.\ \You were a Mrs. when you lost the first?\ \I was.\ \You have got an extra 'S in Mrs. and, isfied expression on his face. He crept counsel, who is said sometimes to Wetjyyp slowly to the counter of the City Ho- tel, and slowly wrote his name in the register. in croog-examing him, to show him up a} Will you have supper?\ said the hand- some and obliging clerk. **No; no supper said the weary man.\ Like to go to your room now?\ fur- llht-r queried the handsome and obliging. 1 Xo; no room. | Want no room,\ sid the weary man, who was beginning to breathe easier. Here was a poser. A gue<t at a hotel , who wanted nothirg to eat and wanted 'no room. Well, what can we do for you?\ asked 'the handsome and obliging in a desperate {uttempt to solve the problem. «Nothing, | sir; positively - nothing.\ said the weary man. | And then growing confidential, he exclaimed: | \I notice every day that the papers publish hetel arrivals. | have been traveling for years, many weary yes. in all States, but I have never arrived, | Maybe you don't know what it is to be going all your life and never get to a place. Somehow I think I shall feel better if I arrive, and I want to see it in the papers that I have arrived, so that I cin be certain of it. I must arrive or dic.\ The weary man wis allowed to arrive and to depart. and he went out into the weary world as if a great load was off his mind, a happier and more arrived man. - 14+ Happiness is mude up of trifles, but the sum of happiness is no trifle after all. Many a mean little sarcasm has made a big wound and left a huge sear behind. - Oftentimes a bit of ill-temper causes more disturbance than a volcanic eruption would. s - e4e It dosen't hurt a good man to have his character investigated; neither does ask Lizzie will she marry me?\ | Lizzie blushed and smiled, but managed to say: \And do you think a woman can go on marrying forever and not lengthen out her title? Mrs. means a married woman counter. or a widow. - Mrss. meansa woman who . * has been married twice and is young Call him your friend who dares to tell enough to marry again, and only yester- what he honestly thinks of your society, day a fich old coon was in our shop, and deportment and home behavior, ta a T said if he had any idea that you were heart-free he'd y --\ reart-free he'd come up -- . -- - \Oh. well, you can nail up the sign,\ Charms strike the sight, but ment she interrupted, and it is there to-day.-| wins the soul. it hurt a gold coin to try its ring on the k“
