{ title: 'The Rio Grande rattler. ([McAllen], Hidalgo County, Tex.) 1916-1917, December 15, 1917, Page 7, Image 7', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-7/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-7.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-7/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-7/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
Image provided by: New York State Military History Museum
TH E WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER 5 A SOLDIER’S LETTER TO H IS SW E E T HEART. D ear M a r l e : I haven’t wrote for sometime because I have been made an officer—a corporal. I adm it I deserved it. I didn’t apply for it or nothing. They ju s t come and told me. Being corporal means th a t I don’t have nothing more to do w ith details, and at the same tim e I have more details to worry about than ever before. T h a t is a sort of joke th a t us m ilitary men understand, but we couldn’t expect a laym an like you to understand it, Mable. Y esterday being Sunday, me and three other officers borryed mules off the stable sergeant and w ent for a ride in the country. We stopped at a little house th a t they said was a m o o n shiner’s hut, but as it was broad daylight I couldn’t tell, of course. We stopped at another house near there. At first I thought it was a schoolhouse, there was so many kids playing around it. W hen I asked them if it was a school, they only laughed. A nice old lady said she “reckined” we could have dinner there for “fo’ bits.” The natives here speak a queer language and the men all have th e ir necks shaved. W hen we sat down to the table, all of a sud- dint, she ast me to say ‘‘Grace.” I said I’d rath e r say “Mable,” such being the name of my girl, but the old lady said no, I mean ask a blessin’. I didn’t no none. One of the other guys poked me in the ribs and said, say som ething, you simp, so I said the General Orders in a low voice and ended up w ith Amen. It was a swell feed. We had little yellow biscuits th a t they call corn poems. And guess w h a t? Pie made out of sweet potatoes! I asked the old lady if she ever tried m a k ing pie out of spin ach but she didn’t see the joke. It still rem a ins cold. The top sergeant says th a t I am going on interior guard to night. T h a t is lucky for me, as I wanted to get some indoor work. W e’ve got a new camp paper down here, The W adsw orth Gas Tank, and I am go ing to w rite some pieces for it. I always was a swell w riter, Mable, even if I do say so. I got your Thanksgiving box two days’ ago. It was only ten days late. I guess the post office made some m istake. Usually things is later than that. It was in good shape except th a t the insides had been squoze out of the mince pie, and some one had sat on the turkey. Of course I divided it up w ith my squad. T h a t’s me all over. I’m aw ful popular w ith my men. They often tell me they wish I’d be made a m ajor or some thing. My men soon ate up the stuff. All I saved for myself was the w h ite m eat and half the pie. It was a swell meal to have in the field. Of course, we aren’t really in anybody’s field. T h a t’s a m ilitary expres sion a girl couldn’t understand. I’ve got to quit now to post a guard. At the same tim e I may get a chanst to post this letter. T h a t’s a joke, Mable. I’m sorry my letter can’t be longer but as a man rises in the arm y he gets less and less tim e to himself. Olive oil! Your loving corporal in 0. D., B il l . !{: }£ RUMORS! A New Issue of the L a test Model O. D. Rumors. 1. We sail from Hoboken Christm as morning. 2. All the cooks in the 107th Infantry are German spies, and are attem p ting to wean the 107th to K u ltur w ith a propaganda of w ieners and kraut. 3. We leave E a s t St. Louis on flat boats New Year’s Eve. 4. The 47th Infantry will combine w ith the Boy Scouts of Flushing, and the Home Defense League of Yonkers and do guard duty at the Chicago stock yards. 5. The 47th Infantry will take the first train for the R u ssian front. 6. The 47th Infantry will be made into cavalry and will hurry by ferry boat to Popoff, Siberia. 7. We will leave Key West, Florida, for Italy, St. P a tr ick ’s Day. 8. Bellows will im m ediately be issued to all men to repel Hun gas attacks. 9. We will sta r t to m a r c h . for Camp Webb, Wyoming, on the first clear W ednes day. 10. Non-coms will be abolished. 11. The K aiser has sold the moving pic ture rights of the war to Blevitch, Blevitch, Blevitch and Co., of New York, and the w a r is now being conducted w ith blank cart ridges. 12. All mounted men will be dism o u nted and all dismounted men will be mounted, and all the rest will be turned into cooks. 13. We leave for Ireland in subm arines, via the Gowanus canal, sometime in Feb ruary. 14. Pay days will be abolished. 15. We will encfimp at Leonia, N. J. for the duration of the war. 16. We leave next week for somewhere. 17. We don’t. % ^ ^ Gontrlbs— Send in fuel to the Incinerator. THE SOLDIER’S GARDEN OF VERSE. I have the cutest little horse— I feed him lots of hay, I give him lots of oats, of course, I clean him every day, And when I’ve finished groom ing him, I heard a squshy thud, And find the “ ( ) ” &’?*“” cuss, A rolling in the mud. ❖ ❖ * ❖ $ I love my topper, yes, I do. I hope he goes to Heaven, too. (The sooner the better.) sfa sfs ^ sfs sjs If captain I should get to be, I'd soon dispense w ith reveille. I ask you, do you think it right, To get us soldiers up a t night? Before the moon has ceased to shine, W hy can’t we sta r t to fight at nine? The Road to Hell, we are informed, is paved w ith good intentions. The Road to Spartanburg, we have no ticed, is paved w ith busted Fords. * * * * * Out at Camp Funston they make all the men who are conscientious objectors, and won’t fight, do perm a n e n t kitchen police. Ju s t watch those birds after they’ve done kitchen police for about a month. You won’t be able to keep them from fighting. ^ There are a lot of conscientious objectors in Camp W adsworth. Their objection is to work. * * * * % The Incinerator Stoker heard one of the darky mule-chauffeurs around camp saying to another the other day: “Rufe, you’all kin always tell a m a jah by the little oyster shell on his shoulder, and you’all kin tell a kunnell by his little tin buzzard.” * t- ❖ ❖ ❖ A 108th Regim ent man w ent into a Spar tanburg cafe (pronounced to rhym e w ith “safe” ) and said, “Have you got a Gas A ttack?” % >J: % ijs sj: A sergeant in the 107th spied a rookie w alking through some stacked rifles. “How dare you go through there?” Get back at once,” he shouted. The rookie looked puzzled. He saw th a t it was up to him to make some apt m ilitary retort. He beamed brightly and hopped back. “As I was, Sarge, as I was,” he piped. * ••!* * ❖ ❖ E thelburt Jellyback says he objects to living in the trenches because they make one narrow minded.
