{ title: 'The Rio Grande rattler. ([McAllen], Hidalgo County, Tex.) 1916-1917, December 15, 1917, Page 21, Image 21', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-21/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-21.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-21/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn87030234/1917-12-15/ed-1/seq-21/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
Image provided by: New York State Military History Museum
THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER *9 WADSWORTH FABLES. The Detail Ducker and the Terrible Teuton. Joe Go of us, of the 105th Infantry, was a Wise Guy. He adm itted it. He claimed the ali-round “ championship” of the 27th Di vision as a detail ducker. The only bugle calls Joe knew were ‘1 Soopy, soopy, soopy,7 7 and ‘ ‘ P ay day, pay day, line up and get your thirty bucks!7 7 When, the gink w ith the horn tooted fatigue call or drill call, Joe was usually busy doing bunk fatigue. He boasted th a t he had invented more systems for bilking the Topper than any buck in the outfit. He was the fox who painted his ankle with iodine so that he wouldn 7t have to go to the rifle range. But Joe was proudest of the way he regu larly got out of bayonet drill. ‘ ‘ Me work out in that sun with a butcher knife on a stick? Huh! Guess again, bo. My little old fist is good enough for me in close quarters. I can lick any six Germans th a t ever hocked the Kaiser. My little old bed looks good while you boobs are out there carving up the atmosphere. Just tell the Sarge th a t I put my elbow out of joint carv ing a steak at mess, and so I can ’t join his m erry bolo party this a f t . 7 7 That was Joe ’s regular spiel, when the call for bayonet prac tice came. Meanwhile Looie Gets Ready. The scene changes from the cotton fields of the sunny (sometimes) South, to Pfann- kuehen, on the Rhine, where Private Looie Schmaltz, of the Pfannkuehen Im p erial Pret- zelhunds, was training. Looie d idn’t like bay onet drills, either. But Looie used that gray thing th a t even Teuts have under their tin hats. So Looie overcame his dislike for doing “ Short j a b , 7 7 “ Long th r u s t?77 and the stroke with which you shave a man, give him a shine, decapitate him, w rite your name on his abdomen and bisect his A d a m ’s apple, with three movements, and he jabbed and thrusted and panted a couple of hours a day. Act I I I. The Big Duel Scene. The scene changes once more. Third act. 'Somewhere in Flanders, whatever they are. Joe Goofus goes over the top. Joe is no coward. He still thinks th a t his trusty right m itt is as potent a weapon as it used to be when he was a bouncer in M ike’s place on Eighth Avenue. Joe runs into Looie in a trench. Looie is standing in a position which Joe remembers, vaguely, is called “ On G u ard.7 7 Joe dis covers th a t he can’t possibly park a right • hook on Looie 7s whisker plantation because a mean looking sixteen inches of shiney steel is in the way. Looie starts to make motions th a t Joe re members seeing the boys make out in the lot at Spartanburg. Joe wishes he knew them now. Joe swings his rifle around his head and tries to knock Looie for a mess- shack. Not a chance. He might just as well hope to connect with one of C icotte’s shine balls with a tooth pick. Blain! The lowly Toot has bounced the b u tt of his gun off Jo e y ’s wind-pipe. Zip! Looie has engraved a picture of the Kaiser on Jo e ’s shoulder blade. Woof! The Hun has sliced off Jo e ’s ears. Indeed, Looie, though he w a s n ’t half Jo e ’s size, and had a build like an apple dumpling, was efficiently carving Joe into steaks and chops with a few simple tw ists of his well-trained wrist. Joe was a lucky cuckoo, however, for just then J ohnny Maloney, of the 105th, happened by. Johnny Maloney to the Rescue. Johnny was one of the easy marks who used to go out to bayonet drill regularly. Johnny.w a v e d Joe out of harm ’s way, and proceeded to wag a mean set of elbows at Looie. Johnny thought he was back beating up the South Carolina ozone, while the Lieu tenant counted ‘ ( one, two, three.7 7 When he had finished with Looie, it would- have taken a fountain pen filler to remove Looie from the landscape. The docs pieced Joe Goofus together all right so that he runs. But say, if you want to get the bawling out of yonr fair, young life, just tell Joe that you think it is a good scheme to duck drill. MORAL—You may be able to fool the Top per, but you can’t kid a Teuton. 10TH and 47TH BEING DEPLETED. They Are Called Upon to Help Fill Up the Organizations in the Division. Will Be a Skeleton Regiment a While at Least. The 10th and 47 th New York infantry regiments, which have been in Camp W ads worth for some time, but not as a part of the 27th division, are to be depleted in order to fill the regiments of the division to the re quired strength, as was done with the 12th, 14th, 71st and 74th regiments some time ago. Orders were issued yesterday for the 10th to transfer 601 men to the division regiments, and the 47th will transfer 723 men. Under the order, the 47th will send 9 men to the 104th machine gun battalion, 77 men to the 102d engineers, 266 to the 106th infan try, 229 to the 108th infantry, 37 to the 104tli field artillery, 52 to the 105th field artillery, and 53 to the 106th field artillery. The order reads: “ Men will be selected with character at least ‘very good,7 and who are physically fit for service overseas. To ascertain with regard to such physical fitness the following board of medical officers is designated to examine the men for transfer: First Lieut. Henry B. Smith, field hospital company 108; F irst Lieut. Joseph P. Gentry, field hospital company 106; F irst Lieut. J. W. McKenny, field hospital company 105. Non commissioned officers will not be reduced in grade in tran s f e r .7 7 The 10th infantry is to send 213 men to the 105th infantry, 13 to the 105th machine gun battalion, 343 to the 107th infantry, 24 to the 106th machine gun battalion, and 8 to the 102d trench m o rtar battery. The medical officers are F irst Lieut. Leo. F. Costigan, field hospital company 107; F ir s t Lieut. Payton R. Greaves, field hospital company 105, F irst Lieut. Lee R. Pierce, ambulance company 106. Men .h. 27th Division c This enterprise was launched by reason of your coming to camp here, and its success de pends in a large measure on your patronage. CTWe h a v e m a d e an earnest effort to serve you to the best of our ability, handicapped as we have been by the help situation as it ex ists in Spartanburg to day. C, We appreciate the liberal patronage you have given us and be speak for ourselves a continuation of the same. !!!illll!lllilH!lilllimmillllilIii!l!lli<!millliliilllliimmill!li!i(ill!miillillHimi|j!i!iliIIIIIItiilllll!lllHil The Wadsworth Restaurant J U n y A H ISixltB (E n O P P O S IT E GLEVELAND HOTEL STORE O P E N EVERY NIGHT I N THE WEEK UNTIL 10 P. M. Got Pads* Blankets* Pik lows* Sheets* Towels and Pillow Gases. Leather* Spiral and Gan* vas Puttees. Ghevrons* Hat Gords and Insignia. • Sheep Lined Goats* CX D, Sleeve and Sleeveless Sweat ers. ALL AT FAIR PRICES
