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% 4 TB[E PORT EDWARD LEDGE IR. YOL. 8. FORT EDWARD, FRIDAY EVENING, DECEMBER 19,1862. NO. 36. FORT EDWARD LEDOER IS PaBLISHED EVEKY FRIDAY EVE , AT i*O S r EDvVABD, H. CO., N. T., »Y O. B. Conant» 50 PER TERMS: YEAR, IS ADYANCE Office over Muihevo s Hardware Store, Main Street. R ates op ADVEhTisiNG: 'One square, (12 Hues) 3 weeks, .......... $1 00 Each subsequent insertion, ............... 0 25 One fourth column, one year, ................ 15 00 One half column one year, .................... 25.00 One column, one year..............................40 00 Legal notices published at the rates pre scribed by statute. All advertisements niust have the required number of inst^rtions noted or they will be inserted till ordered out and ohan:ed ai-cordingly. Special Notices 15 per cent, additional. Business Cards SI per lii e. Marriages Deaths and Obituary Notices inserted free All kinds of job work executed with neat ness, promptness, and at prices which defy ■competition. G r e a t I m p r o v m e n t s i u EMPIRE SHOTTLE PA TENTED FEBRUARY 14 th 1860. SAIESEOOI, 510 BROADWAY, N. Y. rriH I S Machine is constructed on an en- lirely new principle o> mechanism, po sen sing many lare and valuable luiprovementH, having been examined by thv must pro'ound experts, and pronounced to be szwj?/id^y and pei'fedion combuied. The following are the principal objections urged against sewing much nes : Incapacity to sew every diec iption ot material. Businetr^ts IDirectoi'y. E. A. CRAY, DEALER in Foreign and Domestic \Wines Liquors. &c.. near the Feeder Bridge. For the Ledger IN MEMORY OP T. B.’? BY SK AD RIFT, A ll men arc ac'or.-i.—at least so 'tis said By writer-<old ; bn' often wln^n they r weigh'd Tiiey seem to lack th** needful part—a soul ! F o r want of which, ih<^y mi«8 of Course, the whole. But there was one it was oiir fate lo know, lived to long for others good below; He. was so mean in all he th ughr and did, That all wt re truly glad when B lanchard slid. 1. Excessive fatif.ue tc theoperaior. 2 Liabili'y togetout of older. 3. Expense trouble and loss of time in repairing. The Empire Sewing fi'um idl these uhjedions. It has a straight needle perpendicular ac tion, makes the L ock or S hcttle S titch . ■ which will neither R ip nor R avel , and is - alike on both sides ; perforni.s perfeci sewing on e<ery description of material, from Leath er to the finest Nansook Muslin, with cotton linen or silk thread, from the coarsest to the | finest number. Having neither C. vm nor C og W heel , and ! He never paid for what he. ate or drank ; This kept him poor, in flesh we nn an. and lank ; His friends if any he could even claim, i. Disagreeable noise 1 riuou lound him ou' and cursed his very name while in opera- I tion, : His trade, an honest one. wh n rightly u.sed, I Was by tms wretch most ra^cdly abused ; Machine is exempt' ^heir v^eekly pay ^ V\ hile iliium s wife had ca.jh in i^tore, they say. HARNESS M i i E H ’S ’erwoods Kow. A Noi;^e4e!?s jMac*liiiie. It requires Fi/ig Per Cent less power to drive it than any machine in market. A girl of twelve years of age can work it steadily, wituout fatigue or injury to the health. Its strength and Wonderful Simpliciig of construction render it almost impossible to get out of order, and is tlnarnnleed by the company to give entire satisfaction. We respectlully invite all tnose who may desire to su]>p!y themselves with a .-upeiior artich, to call and examine this U nrivalled .M achine . But ID a more especial manner do We so licit the patronage of neat the Grist Mill. Y4. GUILFORD, BOOT AND SHOE Manufacturer, opposite Oonant & Co.’s Blacksmith shop. _______ i CENTRAL SALOON, W IN G ’ Exchange. C. R. B ackus , Pro prietors _____________________________ HODGMAN & Go., DE.ALERS in G-ntlemens’ Clothing and Furnishing Goods, No. 1, Win'.;’s Exchange C. E & .S. S BEN NET l\ GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE. Three doors north (>f Baptist ('hurch. ' N. B MILLIMAN. ATTORNEY and Ciounsellor at Law, and Western Land Office. _________________ W. J . WHII EHOUSE & <’0, DEALERS in Drugs, Medicines. Pairit«.Oils and Artists’ Mateiials. Kmir-ley's Block. EDWARD. HUBBEL & Co.. A GENERAL assortment ot Merchandise, for sale cheap. ' B. S. BURNflAM. DENTIST, corner of Michanic and Semi nary street.__________________________ GEO P . CON.-tNT k Co. BLACKSMITH and general repair s! op Mill street. Good satisfaction guaranteed in all eases. We served this ' rinter once, in years gone by- And fcui.d his life to be a living lie ; So when we heard that he had gone for good. We seized our pen iu quite a joyful mood. We could not cry, nor did we want to laugh ; So. for relief, we write hts epitaph : In memor)/ i f one pour H. T. B., I f he is not (h ud, he cerium ought to be. Rothscliild and tlie Bank of Bug*- land. irEBCOANT TAH.OR.S, COACH-MAKEUS. U Onl'-SKIRT MAKERS, ORE.S.S M AKEKS. CORSET M.AKERR, StllHT MAKERS. GAITER MAKERS, SHOE BLM’ER.S, D e f o r e s t & i r v i n g , | MANUFACTURPiRS and Dealers in Fur- j niture and Coffins ol every de.'-cnption.— j Two doors north of Baptist Cburch. | THAYER & UOLfO.N, ! MANUFACTUBERS and Dealers in Sash . Doors and Blinds. Job Planing and ; Matching done to order. Near the Blast j Furnace. ____ ___ _ ____________________________________________________ — I L. A. COX. STOVE AND MACHINERY WORKS where can be found Water Wheel patten s of various kinds ; also Beveled and square Gearing patterns. compriMng the laigett assortment north of New York. VEST .-IND PA.NTA'.On.VS MAKERS. Religious hk I Oil iiGible InsUiutions ^ will be hber.tlly dealt wi'h. I PPJCE OF M A C IllXES. COM P L E T E : I N(> 1. or hamtij Mueliirie No ' 2, .-'Uia!! .-iz-d .M.itiiiUciunrig S'-ll (lO ; No 3 laige .'ized Munutai lU' trig. $7.\> (Hi i Ciddnels in Ererg Vari'tg. j W e Want agtnt^ for all towns lu th>- Um- I ttil States where agencies are not alrc.toy e> tahli.-.iied, to whom a liberal dmcoiirit will be ‘ givi 1 ), but we. make no consignmenis, i T . J . M c A j t l a i i r Co. 4:ly 510 Biiovmv.vY Ni;\v Y okic . GEORGE W. LITTLE, Pliysician a n d Surgeon- Office, opposite of the Post Office. Resideccp, Mrs. Dr. J . D, Norton's FORT EDWARD MO IT SON against and against THE WORLD 1 ' | FORT EDWARD ! \YT^HO keep constantly on hand a full and T V complete assortment of Canada Pine Lumber, dressed and undressed h raining timber of any length and size required — Doors, SasU, Blinds, Pine Pickets, Lime. •Cement, &c. FLOUR! ’“ FLOUR! J. M. M ott & S on also keep a large ar d well selected stock of F lour , whi. h they •offer at wholesale and retail, at prices delv ing competi-tion. Merchants, and all Plou r Dealers, in this and surrounding towns are .particularly invited to call and examine our rassoitment of F lodk before sending orders ’froy or Albany, as we pledge ourselves to .supply all parties on as favorable terms (sit {least) as can be obtained at either of thos e cities, or elsewhere. March 28.1862. mr28:tf ■pEAGB DECLARED ! THE UNTOJf X preserved! Having become convinced that the cash system of ^ Quick Sales ami Small Profits,” is better than the old way, of “ Large Profits and Lcmg Credits,’ ha <e x c ^ e to. the conclusioik to sell for G ash ob H-NTf Q'^Y. and take tins method tn inform my old patrons, and the public gen erally. that I am thankful for past favors, and' solicit a continuance of their patronage on .the Ready Pay System. r have jug-6 YPceived a large and well se- ilect'Kl stock of L dm SEE,D oors , S ash ,B ends , Ljtj^E, H air . C ehent . P aints , O il , G lass , V apnis % P itch and O akum . Jihase also added to my former supply, a lar^e assortment of P ainters ’ and A rtists ’ AI atbriai ^ , aU of which will be sold at panic ,pricey Aji kinds of Farm Produce taken a t Cash Prices in exchange for goods. apd see hefo.re purchasing elsewhere. tSfT l^memh». the place, neat the Fee- d«r ^ d g O rF o i^ Edward, N . T. n i E w UMA N S eliiE S I). F i . M A L E PSH L S !! Tluiusuiids Ilf toiuMuituL ha ’e been given, sbowHig ihat thet<e p Its are inlallibie in correitn.g legulatuig and removing obstructions ol every nature. WARaANTED AS A SAFE AND CERTAIN PREVENTATIVE WITHOUT-THE LEAST INJURY TO THE CDNSTiTULON. npilE.'-^l'i PilU have been us.-d fiy the I), c X t'lrs for maiiy year.-^, both in h ranee and Atneiioa, with unpar-tileled sucfe.-s in eve'y ••a.-^e ; am) he is 'irged by many thousand la dus who have u.-ed them, to make tiepill> putil.c for the alleviation oF those suff. img from any irregulanues whatever, as well as to prevent an inernase of tamily where health or ciicunistai ces vvill not permit Female- peculiaily situated or those supposing them sel-esso are cautioned against usmg these piha as they will certainly produce miscar riage although their m Idness would prevent injury to health. Full and explicit dnectionsi accemp-ny each box. Price One Dollar. - VV holesale and retail by \V . J. Whitehouse & Co. Kingi-leys Block. Fort Edward. N. Y. Ladies semling him §l w-llrtceive. a box by return mail, postage fa.d. '1 he ut most secrecy maintained. Look out for counterfeits The ingiediei.ts com posing these pills aie made known to every agent, and they will tell you the pills are per fectly s«fe and do all claimed for them. Be suie you get the genuine arlicle. J. r. fcjAHTH, Manufacturer, 8:34 ______________ Albany N. V li GHOllGE 15KOKAW, and r p HANK PUL for past favors, the sub X senberstill solicits ihe patronage of the public, and offers all articles in his line of business, such as Harness of every description} RIDING SADDLES, Bridles and Martingales, HORSE BLANKETS, H O R S E B R U S H E S . F L Y N E T S , CURRY COMBS, Trunks^ Valises, Carpet Bags, etc, and a large assortment of CABEIAGE WHIPS, of the beat manufacture, which will be kept constantly on hand. N. B —For good material, style, work manship ch' apnesB and dunibility I DEFY CO.VI PETITION REPAIRING OF ALL KINDS punctually attended to. By close atteuii >n to butiinees, and a desire to giye general satiefaction to all. I hope to merit a con iiiuation of the patronage, which has hef-n so liberally bestowed upon me. My place of bu-iaeps is located TWO DOORS SOUTH OF BAPTIST CHURCH. Fort Edwartl, 4.^g, 20, 1862. no20:l7 An amu'ing adventure is related as having bapp -ned to the Bmk of England, which had Committed the great dis-respect of relu sing to discount a bill of a large, amount, drawn by Anselm Rothschild of Frankfort, on Nathan Rothschild, of London. The bank lead haughtily replied, ■' l-.iat they dis counted I tily 'heir own hills and nut thore of priva'e persons.” But they had to do With o.iB sfruijger than the bank. ” Private persons ! I will mike these gen lemeii see what sort ol pr.v.ite per-ons we are ! ’ Three weeks atteiward Nath-in Roth-child—who had empl yed the interval in gathering all the £5 iiiite he c.iu'd p cm ure in Pm.'land and on the cuntinext.—presented huiistlf at the bank at the opening ot tlie i ffice. He dr- w fi o ii his p t k t bonk a £5 note, and tiey n itnrally eo'iii'f d o u t five .sovi reig n s , at the eime time lu -king quite a toni.shed tfat Uo' Baron liothscfi-ld .-houl 1 have per sonally triiuliied himself fur sncli a trifle. Tiie Bar u examined one by one the coin.s . ' and [ml them in a liale c.invas-c bag then drawing out another note, a third, a tenth, a I hundredth, he never put the pieces of gold , in'o the big witlii'iit scmp'ilously examining ! them, and in s- iiie i^)^ralll•es tiyiiig them in ! the balance, as 1\* said, ” the law gave him the j right to do.” The fust puckel book being ■ emptied ami the first nag full, he passed them ; to hi.-> clerk, and received a second, and thus j continued to the close of the bank. The ' Jhirori liu'J emplojed reven hours to change £21 (1(10. But. as he had also nine employees j vl' bis hoiis*- engageii m the same manner, it I resulted that the house of Roillschild b«d drawn £21((,()0I) in goM from the hank, and that he had so occupini 'be tellers that no other person Could c. aitge a siiig'e note — Ev'Hylhing which bears the stump of eccen- tnciiy has always ph ased the English 'They were, ther fore, the first day, very mu<‘h amu.sed ut the little, pique i.f Biroii Roths child. They however laughed less, when they saw him r turn the. next day at the. opening of the. bnik, flicked by hie nine clerks, and follow, d by as itciny drays, des lined to carry away the specie Tfn-y laughed no longer, when the king of bankers said with ironic simplicity : *• Ttie-e gent emen refu.-e to pay my bills, 1 have sworn not to keep theirs. At iheir bcsuie — only I notify them that I have en >ugh lo employ them for two montns.” “ For two months 1’’ •• Eh ven in llions in gold drawn from the Bank of Eng land which th<*y have never p ssessed !'' The bank took alarm. There w.is something to be done. The next morning notice appeared in the journals that henceforth the bank would pay Rothschild’s as same as their own. A S ea of C rinoline — A row occurred in the stalls of the Varieties Theatre. Paris, one evening last month. Mr. L---------, a litera- teur of quick turn, had to wade through a sea of crinoline. Some men pretend they don't like it; ladies do n o t; and a ceruiin lady of lorette tribe was highly incensed at l\Ir. L— who got entangled in the mysteries beneath the splendid pilk dress. The lady turned fi. rcel> on the poor man. and exclaimed— ” At least, sir. you need not stand there without recognition of your awkwardness.— You might at least bow your regret.” “ .Madam, impo-sible,” replied the witty author, wading on, knee deep; *• the pei pie ijiight fancy I new y 'U!' 5 ^ * The f.illowing notice inicht have been seen weeks ago, stuck np in a corset maker’s shop window in Glasgow; ’• All sorts of ladies stays here. ’ F rightened —J ohnny rushed into the hons-i, lecently, all out of breath, bavjug been frightened by the “ bar^ of ^ trep.” A C o v e ted P o s i t i o n . ------ ♦ ------- It, may he funny, but I've done it. I ve got a rib and a baby. Shadows departed —oyster stews, brandy juleps cigar boxes, boo’jacks, absconding shirt buttons, whist and do nmocs Shad iws present—hooped skirts, bandb -xes. gaiters, long stockings, juvenile dresses little willow cnairs, cradles, pap, paregor c, hive syrup, soothing syrup, senna, squdls and doctor’s bills. Shadows future—more nine-pound babies, more hive- syrup. e tc, etc. I ’ll just tell you how I got caught. ' I was always the darndest, tea custard, bashful fellow you ever did see ; it was kinder in m.v !me to be taken with the shakes every tune. I naw a pietty gal approach me, and I'd cro3.-» the street any time rather than face one '1 wasn't because 1 didn t like the crit ers, for if I was behind a fence looking through a knot hole. I c-mldn’t look at one long enough • Well, my sister Lib gave a party one night, and I stayed away from hom'd because I was too ba.-hlul too face the irmsic. I hung around the house, whistling Old Dm Tucker, ’ dsmi'ing to keep my feet warm, and watching the heads bob u,- and down behind the window curtains, and wishing th'i thund ering party would bn ak up so I could get to my room I smoked up a bunch of cigard, and as it was getting late and migb”y uncom fortable, I concluded to shin up i he door post. No sooner said than done, and I quickly found myself snug iu bed. Now,” says I, ■’let her rip! c*ance till your w nd gives out!\ and cudilntg under the quilts. Morpheus grabbed me. I was dreaming of soft shell crabs and stewed tripe, and having a good time, when Homebody w.iki d me up. “ Rapped” again. I laid low, -Rap rap. rap!” 'rheii I heard a Whispering, and I knew there was a whole raft of girls outside. “ Rap. rap!\ 'Then Lib sings out— Jack are you in there ?” “ Ye.-i,” s.iys I. Then came a roar of laughter. “ Let. us in,” says she. “ I Won’t.” says I ; “ can't you let a fellow al-.ne?” •’ .Vre you abed ? ’ says she. •• I am '■ says I. “ Get up ” says she. •• I won’t,” says I. Then came another laugh. By thunder! I began to get r ind. •* Get out. you petticoa'ed scarecrows!” I cried. “ Can't you ge^ a beau without haul ing a fellow out ( f Vied ? I won’t go home wi'h you—1 won't; so you may clear o u tl” Thui throwing a boot at the door, I felt belter. But pre-ently. oh! mortal buttons I heard a still small voice, very much like sister Lib's and it said— “ Jack you’ll hai'e to get up, for all the girls things are in there !” Oh. Lord, what a pickle! think of me in a bed, all covered ivith shawls muSs, and bon nets. and cloaks, and twenty girls outside waiti'.tr fo get in ! If I had stopped to think, I would have fainted away on the spot. As It was I rolled out among the bonnet wire and ribbon.s in a hurry. rimash !” went the millinery in every di rection. I had to dress in the dark—for there was a crack in the door, and the uirls will peek—and the way I tumbled about was death on straw hats. The critical moment came. I opened the door, and found myself- r.ght among the women. “ Oh, my Icghi/rn ” cries one; “ my dear, darling winter velvet,” cries another ; and they pitched in—they pulled me this way and that, box-d my ears, and one bright-eyed little piece—S-il -------- her name was—put her arms right around my neck and kissed me light on my lips. Human natu e couldn t stand that, and 1 gave her as good as she smt. It was the firs-t ume I ever got a taste and it wa.- powerful good. I believe I could have kissed that ual from Julius Cmsar till the Fourth of July. “ Jack.” says she, ‘‘ we are sorry to disturb you, but won't you see mo home ?” “ Yes.” said I, I will ” I did do it, and had another smark at the gate too. After that, we took a turtle-doving after each other, and both of us sighing like a bar rel of new cider when we were away from each other. ’Twas at the close of a glorious summer day—the sun was setting behind a distant hog pen—the chickens were going to roost —the bullfrogs were cotmneDC ng their eve ning songs—the pollywogs in their native ro'idpibldles were preparing them for the shades ot night—anj Sal and myself s-it upon an antiquated backlog, .istening to the music of nature, such as tree-toads, roosters gruii'ing pigs, and now and then the mellow mu-^ic oi a distant jackass was wafti-d to our ears by the gentle zephyrs that sighed among the mullen stalks, and came heavily laden with the deheions odufs of henroosts a.nd figs’yes. The last lingering rays of tlte.gf!t- tiug sun, glancing from the buttons of a soli tary horseinan, shone from a knot hole in the hag-pen fall in Sals face, dyeing her hair with a sort u | prange-peei hue, aiad showing • ff iny thread-bare coat to a bad advantage. One of my arms were around Sal’s waist, my hand re.-it!Dg on the small of her back —she was toying with my auburn l<>cks of jet-black hue ; she was almost gone, and 1 was ditto. She looked like a grasshopper dying with the hiccups and [ felt like a mud turtle choked wi'h a codfish bail. “ Sal,” says I. in a voice as musicia! as the notes of a ying swan, will you have me ?” She turne 1 her eyes heavenward, clasped me by the hand had an attack of the heaves and blind staggers, and with a sigh th-at drew her shoe-strings to her palate, said— Y e s !” She gave clear out then, and squ itted in my lap. She cork screwed, and I curfl'ixmed and rolled in it. I hugged her till 1 broke my suspenders, and her breath smelt of onions whicli she eaten the week before. Well, to make a long story short she set the day, and we piacticed every night for four weeks, how we would wa’-k into the room to be married till w*> got so we could walk as giaceful as a couple of Mu-covite, ducks Ihe night, (he company and the mini.ster came, the signal was given, ami ami m arm we marched through the crowdt d hall. We were just en'ering the parlor door, when down I went kerslap on the oildotii pulling i Sal after me. Some cursed fellow had - dropped a banana skin on the fl or, and it ' floored me. It split an awful hole in my ! cassimeres. right under my dress coat tail. It was too late to '^'ack o u t; so. clapping my hand over it, we marched in and were i spliced, and taking a seat, I watched the j kissing of the bride operation. My grooms- 1 man was a little tight, and he kissed her un til I jumped up to take a slice, when, oh, hor ror I a little six year old imp had crawled behind me, and pulling my shirt through the hole in my pants, bad pinned it to the chair, and in jumping up I displayt-d to the admir ing gaze of the astonished multitude a trifle more white muslin than was pleasant. 'The women giggled, the men roared, and I got mad, but was finally put to bed, and all my troubles ended. Cards Spiritualized. A v o i d i n g a D u n . ------ 4 ------- A compositor in one of the daily newspa per offices in a Western city, though a good fellow, like most of the printing piofessiun, suffers from repeated atta<-ks of limited finances, or revenue dispropurtional to hts disbursements. He has no objections to paying debts to the last penny, when he has the money; but when be is short, he abhors the idea of meeting creditors, for he hates a dun as he hates the *• old boy, ’ or a dirty proof.’’ On one of the last few occasions of the pressures in the typo’s monetary mar ket. he was descending from the news room to the street, when he met a collector, who asked him if James H. Smith—giving the printer’s name—worked in that office. “ Why do you wish to see him ?” asked Smith. ‘‘ I have a bill against him (producing it) for $20 left by Dr. A ------ wno yo ■ remember recently died, and his accouts have been placed in mv hands for ollection ” ” James II. Smith.” replied th-' composi tor, repeating his own name slowly, as if it had a mystenois. familiar sound, and he was endeavviring to recall it. '• 1 have heard that name before, surely—James H. Smith James H.? James H .? oh, yes! (as it with su ld--n rememberance.) he used to be employed here certainly, certainly he did. I remember now; be worked nex< to my “ cise.” poor fellow 1” and the speaker paused and looked sad. “ Did anything happen to him ?” a^k. d the collector. “ Yes, he died one mornins s.idd-nly. c' the cholera, after alteiuling the sick bsG of a dying friend.” Did he leave anything ?” asked the iiian of b tIs. “ Oh, no ; the boys in the office had t ‘ bury him. I gave five dollars rayseif to h*-ip in putting the generous creature under the sod. He died penniless ” Then there is no use in keeping this bill, I suppose?” “ None at all,” said James H. Smith. — And as the collector tore up the bill and de parted, he continued, to himself, “ I guess I’ve got, rid of that old bore. It wasn't, perhaps, much of a story I was telling. Probably I was only antiepating a little, after all—ex cept in the five dollar contribution - --------- .1 1 < ■«—< - ----------- figs’* A contraband was being escorted to the fortifications recently by a sold.er; be was met by another “ gemman ob color.” “ Hello, Ike. where you gwine wid dat gard ?” “ I’se gwine out to reforce de army ?” \ Is dat so ? ’ “ Yes 1 I’m gwine to de mortifications to dig trenches .”—Louisville Journal. ---------- 1 ■ t ■ fcn ------------ A ccomodating . A t the negro theatre in Cincinnati the printed programme has the following liberal anuopneement i— Take Notice—A portion of the upper tier has been reserved for respeotable. white folks. [Giving an account of Richmond Lee, a private soldier, who had been taken before the Magistrate of the town of Glasgow, for playing cards during divine service.] The Sergeant commanded the soldiers at the. church and when the parson had read the prayers he took the text. 'Those who had a Bi ble took it o u t; but this soldier had neither Bible or Common Prayer Book ; but pulling out a pack of cards, he spread them out be fore him. He firstlooked atone card and then at another. The Sergeant of ih-j company saw him and said : “ Richard, put np the cards; this is no place for them.” Never mind that,’’ said Richard. When the service was OY’er, the con.stable took Richard a prisoner, and brought him before the .Mayor. “ \VYell .say.-^ the Mayor, “ what have you liro'ight the soldier here for ?” “ For playing cards in church.' “ Well, Soldier, what have yon to say for JOll-'SC'lf,” .Much sir, I hope.’’ ‘ \^'ery good ; if not, I will punish you more than any man was pun shed.” “ J have been,” sad the soldier, ‘about six weeks on the march I have neither Bi ble nor Common PrayerBook. I have notli- ing but a pai k of cards, and I hope to satisfy your worship of the purity of my intentions.”' 'f'hen spreading the cards before the Mayor he began with an ace : “ When I see the ace, it reminds me that there is but one God. “ When I see the deuce It reminds me of Father and Son. “ V\ hen I see the tray, it reminds me of Father. Son and Holy Ghost. “ When I see the four, it reminds me of the four Evangelists that preached—Matthew Mark. Luke and John, '• \When I see the five, it reminds me of five wise virgins that trimmed their lamps.— There were ten. but five were wise and five were foolish, and ivere shut out. “ When I see the the six, it reminds me that in six days the Lord made heaven and earth. ‘‘ When I see the seven, it reminds me that on the seveiith day God rested from the great woik he had made, and hallowed it. '• When I see the eight it reminds me of the eight righteous persons that were saved when God destroyed the world, viz : Noah his wife, his three sons and their wives. “ When I see the nme it reminds me of the nine leppera that were cleansed by our Saviour. There were nine out of ten who never returned thanks. “ tYhen I see the ten, it reminds me of the ten commandments which God handed down to Moses on the table of stone. “ When I see the King, it reminds me (ff the Great King of Heven, which is God Al mighty, “ When I see the the queen, it reminds me of the Queen of Sheba who visited Solo mon for she was as wise a woman as he was- a man She brought with her fifty boys and girls all dressed in boys apparel, for King .Solomon to tell which were bot'S and girls- King Solomon sent for wat.-T for them to wash ; the giils washed to the elbows,, and the bi>ys to the wrists, so King Solismon told by that ” •‘Well, said the Mayor, “ yon have given a description of all the cards m the pack ex cept one.” “ What is that?” The knave,” said the Mayor. “ I will give your honor a descriptioa of that, ' 00 . if you will not be angry.'’ ’■ I w.ll not,\ said the Mayor, “ if you do not term me to be the knave ” “ W eil,’ said the sutoier, “ the gieatest knave that 1 know of is the constable that nrought me h.-rc ’’ ! do not know,” said the Mayor, “ if he i.-i the gr.Bte-t knave, but I know he is the gi-eatesT tool ” “ When 1 count the number of spots in a pack of cards I find 365—-as many days as there are in a year.” “ When I count the number of cards in a pack 1 find there am 52 - the number of weeks in a year; and i find four suits-—the number of weeks in a mont h.” I find there are twelve picture cards in a pack, representing the number of months in a year; and on counting the number of tricks. 1 find thirteen—the number of weeks in a quarter.” ----------- «wi ■ « ■ —■, --------- - “ We wouLuuiuge in such horrid anticipations,” as the heop'-cked husband said when the parson told him he would be joined to his wife in another world, never more to be sept rated from her. “ Parson, I hope yon will not mention this unpl^tsant circumatance again, ’ said he. T he Piesidont's Message was telegraphed from Chicago to San Francisco in eight hv-urs. A GOOD guess at a tailor’s same—Mr- So and So. J ones says he loves two charming girk'— Jenny Busity and Annie Matron,. \