{ title: 'Washington County news. volume (Whitehall, N.Y.) 1871-1873, April 29, 1871, Page 1, Image 1', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031734/1871-04-29/ed-1/seq-1/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031734/1871-04-29/ed-1/seq-1.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031734/1871-04-29/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031734/1871-04-29/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
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yh x Bes -l #4 #2 \ ceived. - you know you haves asked for this priccless -_ __ Aud Gay 'I is very good.' I requtra all things that are grand and true, TnE Yasbingtor Gmuty Hows. is published at WHITEHALL, WASHINGTON COUK'TY, K. Y EVERY SATURDAY MORNING, Br Carros Q. Suit & Co, lrupnegors. wma. » TERMS:; Bj; Carrier, $1.25, by. Mail, $1,00, No names entered until payment is re- mance saran c ana RATES OF ADVERTISING. One inch, one week, 75 counts, one year, $5.00. One column, 13 luchm $35.00 a year. mEditorml and Business Notices, 6 cents per, e. saa imamas cat FOR Abb ESTIMATES QF JOB WORK, And further particulars in regard to advortis- ing, apply to, or address, Wm .W. LOUGEE, Editor, Original an Selects Purty, A Woman's Answer., Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing Ever mado by thoe hand abovs? A woman's heart and a woman's life- And a woman's wonderful love. thing As a child might sak for a toy ? Demanding what othors have died to win, With tho reckless dash of a boy ? You havo written my lesson of duty out- ~ Man-like havo you questioned mo ; Now stand at the bar of my woman's soul, Until I shall question thee. You require your mutton shail always bo hot, Your socks and your shirts be wholo; ~ I require your heart to bo truo as God's stars, And pure as his heaven your soul. You require a cook for your mutton and beef, T requires fay greater thing ; ~ _ A seamstress you're wanting for socks and for shirts, I look for a man and a king- A king for the beautiful Featm called home, And a man that tho Maker God Shall look upon «s ho did on tho first, 2 I pth fair and young, but the rose will fale From my soft young chgak one day-- Vill you love me then, 'mid the falling leaves, As you did 'mid the blooms of May I In your heart an occan so strong and deep -I may Isunch my all on its tide ? A lovely woman finds heaven or hell On the day she becomes a bride. All things thet a man sbould be: If you givelthis all, I would stake my life To be all you demand of mo. If you cannot be this-s laundress and cook You can hire, aud a liitle to pay : But a woman's beart and a woman's life Aro uot to be won infant way. _. a ~ A certmmbld hdv. who had been fumed for sour looks, and not very sweet words, touching the accidents of life, was observed to have become vary amiable. * What a happy change has come over you,' said a neighbor. \Why .' said the transformed, +to tell you thadtraths Mrive been all my life striving for a contented mind, and have finally concluded | to sit down contented without it.' When eggs are scarce they are high, but which is capse, and which effect? An ex- change suggests that the hens, finding they can make by half labor, refuse eel cn cap ALD Linen nass oie s WHITEHALL N. Y., SATURDAY APRIL 29, 1871 onne ner n eno ___ _. «thn filrtfirht 5mm Crller, lan ~a The hunkee in a Boarding School. tom k as ELL, squire, as I was tellin' on f yo, when I went around ped. lin' notions, I met many queer eS.A) folks; some on 'em so darn'd preoud and sassy they wouldn't let a feller look at 'em; and 'd shot ther doors and gates, bang into a feller's face jest as of a Yankee pedler was a pizon sarpont ! Then there was 'tother kind ,o' human critters, so pesky poor or nation stingy, they'd pinch a fo'pence tillit 'd squeal ~ llike a stuck pig. Yas, I do sweow, I've met some critters so dog ratted mean, that of you'd sot a steel trap onder ther beds, nnd baited it with threo cents, you'd ketch thor con-feoun-ded souls ofore momin' ! * Massy sakes I' responded the squire. 'Fact, by ginger |' echoed the ex-ped- ler. , » \'Well goon, Ab,' said thosquiro, giv- ing up for the yarn Absalom Samm had promised the girls as soon as tho quilt was out and refreshments were handed around, +Go on, Ab-lets hear abeout that scrape yeow had with the school marm and her gais.' 'Wall, I will, squire; gals, sprond yeourselves nreound and squatytake caro o' your corset strings, and keep deth-ly still. Wall, neow, yeou allsot? Hain't none on yo been in the pedlin' business, -t gasss; wall, no matter tho it's-droaad= ful pleasant sometimes; then agin, at others, 'tain't.' : Go on, Ab, go on,\ shid therggnirg. wall, as I was nbsout tradin', none o' ye ever been in the trad- in' way? Wal, it deon't matter a cent; as I was goin to say, I had hard, darn'd hard luck one season-got clean busted all tew smash ! 0-0-6-0 ! it was dre-ad- fal hard times; fist about the time Gin- erat Jackson clapped his we-toe on the hall o' the banks, kergock. Wall, yo see, got broke all tew fliinders. My ole hoss died, the sun and rain beat up my wag- on, sold cout my notions to n fellar wat paid me all in ceounter-fit money, and then he dug eout, as Passon Dodge says, to undiskivered kedn'try, ' Ther was only one way abeout it; I , was beound tew dew sunthin', iastido' goin few set-deown and blubber; and as I layd stretched cout in bed one Bunday mornin' in Marm Smith's tarven, in the cockloft among the old stuff, I spies a darn'd old consarn as took my fancy amazin'!. As Deb. Brown said when she 'sperienced rele-gin, I felt fay sperits raisin' me clean eout o' bed, and eout I beounced like #. per in a hot skillet. Déown I goes tew Marm Smith; the ole lady was dressed up tew death in her SunflnyngO-mesfim’ -and jest ag preaigit-and sassy as her darn'd ole skin ceould hold. ' Marm Smith, sez I, 'yeou hain't got no ole stuff yeou don't want to sell nor to lay oftener than every other day. nuthin', dew ye? ing his pips another chargo, and light-| ‘Ab Slnmm, sez sho, plantin' her thumbs onto her hip j'ints, as a milishey officer duz on trainin' day, comin' at me right face, she spread herself liken clap. board. 'Ab. Slamm,' soz she, 'what on airth possesses yeou tew talk o' tradin' on the Sabbath? 'Wall,\ sez I, 'Marm Smith, yeou needn‘t take on so beout it; I guess a Feller kin ax n question witheout tradin', or breakin' the Sabbath all tew smash, either ? Neow,' soz I, 'yoow've got some, ole plunder up ther in the cockloft whor ye put mo tew sleep 't ain't much use to yeou, and one article I seen, want tew trade fur.' ' Wall, we didn't trade, 'zaefly. Marm Smith, you see, got dre-o-ad-ful pious 'bout thattime-wouldn't let her gals Jaenw ther breth sencely, and shot hor roosters all up in tho cellar every Sun- day. Fact, by ginger! Wall, yeou gee, Marm Smith wer agin tradin' on Sunday, but she sed I might 'range it with Ben, her barkeoper, and so I got the instru- ment, anyheow. *+ What onairth was it Ab. ? asked tho squire. * Massy sakes, won't you tell us? says the girls, 'I shan't dew it, till I tell the hull abcout it,' Ab. replied, rathor choosing like Captain Cuttle, to break tho gist of his information into small chunks, and so make it more telling, and compara- lively interesting. 'When I got the instrument, and paid Marm Smith my board bill, I wer in possession of a cash capmu of jest threo To'pences E took my jacleknife, and unj'iinted the instrument, cleaned it 'off, then wrapped the different sections up in a papor, put the hall in my little yal: im-trmflnmd'fiug tout When I got clean eout o' gight nnd hcarin' o' overy- body I'd ever hear'n tell on, I stopped right in my tracks. - My &ish erpital wer gone, my mortal remains wer as hol- ier as a flute, and my ole trunk had worn a hole clean through the shoulder of my best Sunday coat, Iput up. and sez I tew the landlord: ' Squire, what sort of a place is this for a sheow ?' 'For a sheow ? sez he. ° * Yas,\ sez L * What have you got to sheow? says he. *The most worlxderfool insterment ev- er inwented,' sez IL. * What's it for ?' sez he. *Fur the wimin,' sez 4 _. tO P sez he' looking alfired peart and smart, as tho', he'd séen a flock o' ele- phunts; 'a quack doctor, Is'pose, ch? 'No I bo'nt a quack doctor, nuther,' sez I, priming up at the insin-i-wa-tion -'not be a darn'd sight.' 'Wall, what on airth hey yeou got, anyheow ?' sez he. 'When he poligiz¢d if. that sort o' way, in course I up and told him the full perticklers 'beout a wonderful in- strument I had for the Irdies and wimen folks. - A-n-d heow I wanted tosheow it before some o' the female sim-i-nar-ries, and give a lectoor on't. _- mamma «still as death! -- NO. 8 'By bunker!' sez he, thon yeou've cuin jest tcou the spot; threcmiles up the road is the great Jargon AInstitoot,spres=- ly for young ladies, wher they tench 'em the rothmetio, French scolopin. and High-tall-ion curlycues; dancin',and so forth, with the use of curlin' iorms, forty pinanners, and parfumeries chuck- od in.' nom 00 _ -_ ¥eou don't say so ? sez I ~ 'Yes, I does,' soz ho; and ther yeou had orter seen mo make stromks fur the Jargon Institoot. ,I feound the place, kicked, on the door, and a feller all starch'd up, Bookin' cruel nice, kem and opon'd the door I axed if the marm were in? They he wanted to know which of 'on I wanted tew seo? \The hed 'marm'of the Insti- toot,\ sez I. 'Plense to give me yeour keard.' soz ho. 'You bo durn'd,' soz I; Td hay yoou to know, mister,\ so: I. ° I deon't deal in ;eards-anover did, nuth- orP 'The feller sheow'd a hep o' ivory, and brought deown the head 'marm.' It weould a' dun Anem Smith's ote hart good to seon this dre-o-.a-d-ful pias ait- ter. - Bho looked mighty nico, a-re-d sho scolloped reound, and beow'd, and cut an orful quantity 0' eapers, when I on- did my business to her. Iwent on ind told her heow in course o' travel- > 'In furrin pearts ?* soz she. Ces,\ soz I-'I kim across & great in- strument,' sez L - 'It wns woll knownto the wimen and Indies o' tho past gin4- rations,' sez I. Xhe nn-shants 7 sez sho. 'Yes, moarm,' sezI. - Thon she nel . me whether If wer a wind instrer-ment or a stringed instrer-ment? - A-n-i I told her it was a stringed instxer-znont. | but wont on the hurdy-gardy pren-cip1 with a crank or troddle But what I moost dwelt on, as the. oxdon-cer soz, er the great combinations of the faster- mont, a-n-d I piled it up ! I told the marm I wanted to get the thing patented, and put before the peo- pole—flgemmen and ladies in peytick- ler-so that everygal in the anivwaranl world could play om it-orsercise hor hands, st¥engthen her arms mid chist; : give her form a nater-al develop-ment, - fand so malo the hull grist o wimern crit- ters useful, as well as or-namental.as my instrer-ment was a useful necessity; fur wilile it lent grace and beatly to the fe- male form, and gin forth fast. rate mu- sic, It was par-fect-ly seriptooral ; it ceould be made to cloths the naked and . feed the hon-gry. -My il-o-quince had the marm.' Sho \Freed to buy ome of my machines straight far usrof her In- stitoof-each school to 'put in' by next day, when I wer to bring the instror- ment, get my $40, and deliver a lectoor on it. Next mornin', brightand early, I wer there; the puss were made up, and the gals nigh abeaut brlin' over with cou- riosity to see my wonderful berer, arm-strengthener, chist-expand- er, feranle-beautifier, and univarsal mu gical machine! When they oll as- sembled, I ondid the machine; they wore When Isotib up, - thoy wer breathless with wonderment; whon 2 m5 Raw Yémt mm LIBRAR®
