{ title: 'The Chenango American. (Greene, N.Y.) 1855-1960, September 06, 1888, Page 1, Image 1', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031218/1888-09-06/ed-1/seq-1/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031218/1888-09-06/ed-1/seq-1.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031218/1888-09-06/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/sn83031218/1888-09-06/ed-1/seq-1/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
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I , V . ‘ . it .', ‘ > _ \ * , M , . _ _ , ‘_ 4 x 3.‘ , . . 7 ,-,.. , , ._, 4- ‘ . . « ‘ : ‘ ‘ H . ‘ '. ‘ V“. ‘ . ‘ i . - ‘ . ‘\ .. - .~;1‘.* f«<}V' . I.l\\:'.,»I~_|‘1l§v.).?f:«V-n.“ »‘«‘‘w.2 -.r -yr ‘.-M»-1.1’ vs DENISOfl. * ROBERTS, Publishers and Proprietpr*. DEVOTED TO LI TERATURE, POLITICS, LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS. r t KM S: 5 1.5 0 a Yea r in Ad van ce; Other wise $ 2 .0 0 . GREEKS, CHENANGO COTJKTT, K. Y., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 1888. VOL. XIXIY. NO. 5. I‘, T H E CH I N A a GO AM ERICAN UBLISHED EVERY THUBSDAY . RATES QF ADVERTI SI NG: Por One Week, GRF.ENE, N. Y. N e w F irm . a t I S O E L L A N T . so the increase of fools and knaves ad- v i ce s side by side, a vast amonnt of hard-earned money is diverted into the pockets of the heartless swindlers, nnd a number of people wbq might have become honest and indnstriouB mem- bers of society are dragged down to the lowest level of self-caused poverty wbich is next door to crime H O W L O V E L Y W O M A N -D R IN K S. Living on tbeir Shape. BY GAMBUHG. While t h e T h ir s ty Horde of Hen Look Cn W i t h Envy. Two perfectly-dressed young men met recently on upper Fifth avenne. They greeted each other with that ex- aggerated assumption of ennui which dudes a'ffect so much. GENERAL T h e S tr o n g H o ld W h ic h th is Vice H a s O n I t s V ictim s. Tbe hottest day this summer two young ladies approached the ice-water tank in the waiting-room of tho Staten Island Ferry. They wanted a drink of tho water. Near by stood a man who also wanted a drink of water. Ho had been ont with the boys tbo night boforo and ho wanted a drink of it protty bad- “You drink first, Flo,” said ono of them. O n e Inch . . . . . . .$1 0 0 T S i o i n c b es I 5 0 T h ree inches. . . ..2 o o Quarter co lu m n $4 00 H a lf colum n—8 00 Whole c o lu m n..15 00 Of all vices gambling, perhaps, takes the strongest hold npon its victim. There is no other passion that a man will follow witb such a blind infatua- tion. Home, family, friends, dll are forgotten by the individual -who allows himself to be led into tho vortox of gambling. “Hello, old chappie,” drawled one, making a vain attempt to slightly raise his oyo-brows and retain in its place a single eye-glass at tho same timo. “Thought you were out of town.\ “Just got back, dear boy,” said tho other, stroking with his gloved hand the merest suspicion of a moustache. “Been to the Branch ?” For Two Weok8. O ae I nc h 150 T w o I n c h e s . . . . . . 2 0.0 T h ree in c h e s$ .. . . 2 5 0 Quarter c o lu m n.. 5 00 H a lf c o lu m n .... 12 00 Whole Column ..2 0 00 INSURANCE AGENCY. All tho notorious haunts of gambling wbich ccmo within the statutory defini- tion of the term ought to bo rootod out. Whether it bo tho keno tables, whpro the young clerks and artisans learn to gamble, to cheat and to em- bezzle, or whether it be the goldon faro saloons, with their recherche suppers and their choico wines, whore judges, legislators, merchants, lawyors and oth- ers of tboir class meet to stako their hundreds of dollars on tho tnrn of a card, all ought to bo impartially stop- ped. Tho prizo-package men, too, ought also to bo summarily suppressed. So should tho cheats who trade in oro- ide watches and paste jewels as n blind to tho“ envelope game.” Gamblers bavo curious notions of su- perstitions. I n nn old work on games the player is gravely advised, if tho luck has been against bim, to tnrn three times round with his ohair,“ for then tho luck will infallibly turn in your favor.” General A L. S., of Kontucky, call- ed ono of tho best card players of tbo State, wonld never play a hand or risk a dollar if thoro was a black cat in tho room. F o r Three O n a I n c h 2 00 T wo i nc h es ... ... 2 50 t h r e e in c h e s . 8 OO . . . W eeks. Quarter colum n.. 6 00 Half column . . ..10 00 Whole column . .28 00 For One Month. T H E NEW FIRM OF Gambling has beon common among most nations, civilized and uncivilized. Tacitus informs us that the ancient Germans were so addicted to it that when stripped of everything else, they would stake at last tbeir liberty and even tbeir lives; the loser goiDg into voluntary slavery ; and though much younger nnd stronger than his antago- nist, suffering himself to be bound and sold, The Romans wero passionatly fond of gambling during the Empire, and various enactments were made against it. I n England, also, gambl- ing was early made the Bubject of leg- islation. ALL KINDS OF INSURANCE “Oh, no ; yon, Bess.\ “Never! Go on, Flo.” “I won’t do it. Drink yoursolf, Bess.” )n e I n c h . . . 2 50|Quartercolumn.. [•wo Inches. . . . ..8 06Half ihree Inches ___3 5 0 50|Quartercolumn.. 7 00 06Half column 12 00 Whole column . .25 00 “No ; I ’ m tired of tho Branch. I took a rnu down to tho Springs in Vir- ginia. Beastly place, but awfully cheap, yon know. Stayed a month and only paid S16.GG for hotel bills.” “Gad ! that is reasonablo. How’d you work it?” “Didn’t havo to work it at al l ; tho hotel pooplo did that. First I went to tbe Roelt Island Springs. Thought I 'd stay n week at S2.50 a day. At tho ond of tho first week the hotel proprie- tor told mo ho only charged yonng men two-thirds regular price. Said thoro were too many girls thoro for tho men ond ho had to hold out attrac- tions. I stayed thero throe days later, and thon paid my bill and gave tho ho- tel man a blowing up. Found ho’d been cheating mo!” “IIow ?\ W R I T T E N Fo t Tw o Months. iae Inpta. ............8 OOlQuartercolumn. 10 00 'w o In c h e s 4 0 0 Half colum n.... 16 00, 'liree incites.. - . . .6 OO. Whole column . .80 00 MORSE & HAYES, Thero woro now two mon waiting. “I think you’re moan—whon yon know I want you to !\ “I don’t caro—you'Vo got to drink first, because I won’t.\ IN STRONG COMPANIES F o r Three Months. Ine Inch.............4 OOjQuarter colnmn .16 00 [•woInches......6OOjHalf column .•••20 00 Pbree inches.......7 0 0 Whole column . .8» 00 (At tbe old stand of E . D . Horso,) AT CUBRENT RATES. “Woll, thon if I must I supposo I must.” F o r Six Months. L o s s e s E q u it a b l y Ad ju s t e d A R E NOW R ECEI V I N G Thoro wero now four thirsty men in lino waiting noxiously. “My, bnt it's cold.\ “I s it ?” “Awful.” “Don't drink it too fast or it'll mako you sick.” “No 'twon’t. I nto three dishes of ico crt tun with Charlie tlio uthor night fast ns I conld h w hIIo .v them, and it didn't mnke mo sick.\ tan Inch..............6 OOlQuarter colnmn. 20 00 •wo Inches 9 00 Half column — 26 00 Ihreo inches 12 OO; Whole column . .60 00 — AND — A largo line o f Frosh Goods, and their store F o r One Year. )n a Inch ......... ip OOjQuarter column .26 00 t oo Inches 15 OO Half column 60 00 Phreo Inches 18OO Whole column ..80 00 Bnilness Cards not to exceed five lines, $6 ier year, o r %3.00 for six months. Transient advertising must bo paid for in dvance. PR O MPTLY P A ID is already full of Goods, such ar I t is astonishing how infatuated peo pie will becomo in the pursuit of gamb- ling. I t was reported of ChoiJes Por- ter, who, in the reign of Queen Anne, possessed ono of the best estates in Northumberland, that ho lost tho whole of it at hazard in tbo Bpace of six months. This madman, for wo can call him nothing else, when ho had just completed the loss of his last aero nt a gamoling-honse in London, and was proceeding down stair# to thiow him- self into a carriago to bo convoyed homo to bis honso in town, reBolvcd to havo ono moro throw to try to retrieve his losses, and immediately returned to the room where tho play-was ^cing on Nerved for tho worst tbat might hap- pen, lie insisted that tbo person ho had been playing with should give him ono chanoo of recovory or fight with him. H is proposition was this ; That his car- riage and horses, tho loose money ho bad in his pockets, bis town bouse, {)lnto and furnitnro—in short all ho had eft in tho world, sbonld bo valaed in a lump at a certain Bam and bo thrown in a single cast No persuasion conld prevail on bim to depart from his pnrpoao. Ho throw and lost; then conducting tho winner to tho door, ho told the conchmnn there was his master, nnd marched forth into tlio dark and dismal strculs without n house or homo or any croditablo means of support. Thus beggared, ho retirod to nn ob- scure lodging in a cheap part of the town, subsisting partly oo charity, sometimes acting as tunrkc-r nt a bil- liard table, and occasionally acting as a helper in a livery stable. I n tbis miscrublo condition, with nakedness and famino staring bim in tho face, exposed lo tbo taunts nnd in salts of those whom ho had onco sup- ported, be was recognized by nn old friend, who gave bim ten guineas to purchase necessaries. Ho expended fivo pounds in procuring decent appar- el ; with tho remaining live bo rcpairod to a common gaming bouse and in- creased them to fifty; bo thon adjourn- ed to one of tho higher order of houses, Bat down with former associates, and won 26,000 pounds. Returning next night, he lost it all, was once moro pen- niless, and after subsisting many years in abject poverty, died a ragged beg- gar in St. Giles. I t is impossible to conjecture tho to- tal amount of the annual ruin caused by gambling. Fortune, trust money, provision for children nnd widows, sums raised on bouses and land, havo disappeared in a short time. Bank clerks nnd cashitrs gamble awny hundreds of thousands of dollars and become“ defaulters.”“ Gift en- terprises\ extent all tho way from tho Metropolitan stock exchange to people who btiy prize packages of candy. And it is, perhaps, in their lower variations that tho commercial aids to gambling are moBt to bo dreaded. The boy is en trapped into a fondness for speulat- ive purchases by prize packages of pop- corn, and tbo laboring man is confront- ed with food for thq^ame passion in prize packages of tobacco. The policy shops, which swarm in every section of the great cities of this country, supply to the masses tbe samo stimulants to the reckless and demoralizing uso of money wbich the capitalist and specu- lator find in Wall street.“ Placing policy” is a reductive vice and it is cer- tain to rnin its victims. Wo bear of occasional ineffective raids mado by po licemen on these swindling devices for robbing the poor. There are public men wbo have made and are still making fortunes out of tbe miserable dupes of the system, and no amount of persistent disappointment seems capnblo of deterring the inveter- ate policy-pluyer from risking bis last qaarter of a dollar on still another chance. I f ho has not yet drawn a lucky number, he bas hoard of others who bave done so, and it will be his turn n,ext. One set of harpies creates another, and thus the fortnqe tcller nnd the interpreter of dreams make money out of the victims Of the policy shops.There,aro people who will produce lucky numbers to the policy player, for a consideration, from a pack of cards or from tho bottom of a teacup. And AT T H I S OFFICE. Timothy, Clover, ■ R U S I3 S T E S S C A R D S . p , Race & Gray Thoro wero eight mon waiting to got a drink now. “Why, I discovered tlmt they were boarding yonng men nt tho White Sul- phur Springs for nothing. Of course, tho chappies bad to bo good dancers nnd know how to flirt. Bat I didn't mind tho work so much. Dandy lot of girls thero. Stayed thoro for throo weeks. I couldn’t stand it any longer, so I strnck. I wanted tho hotel man to pay mo n salnry. Ho wouldn’t do it.\ A LSI K IS CLO V ER, RED -T O P L .& L. E . CH ASE. AOENT8. An ox-Govornor from ono of tho Western Stntes, an in vet era to gamester, would novcr sit down to a tablo in a room whore thoro wns a looking-glass. Somo gamblers refuso to play if on entering a room tho left foot crosses tho threshold first, nnd no poreunsion can indnco them to do so until they lcavo and rotnrn with tbo“ right foot foremost.\ To put yonr foot on the choir of a plnyer is ft certain premoni- tion of bad luck. Somo mon will nov- er piny on Friday. A. remarkable enso of throwing dico ocoarrcd in London in 1813. A Mr. Ogdon wngorod 1 ,000 guineas to ono thnt“ soven\ would not bo thrown witb a pair of dico ten sqccoBsivo times. Tho wager was accepted (though it wns cgregtously unfair), and strnngo to .say, his opponent throw“ seven \nine times running. At this point Mr. Og don offered 470 guineas to bo off tho hot, but bis opponent declined. Ho cast yet onco more, and throw“ nine,\ so that Mr. Ogden won his guineas. Hero wo havo nn instance of a most ro- marb&blo series cf throws, tho liko of which hns never beon recordod. “'Tis cold, isn't it, Boss ?” “Cold ns ico.” “I s'poso there's ico in it.\ “Of courBo.” “I 'm going to drink real slow.\ “That’s right—tlio boat won't bo hero for a long timo.\ ATTORNEYS AJ7D COUNSELOB8 AT LAW, Orksnr. OraRNAsrao Coxjhty, N. Y. J .D. Ya h Va l k u d d b u u, Jb ., Ro d o l pu u s A. Ra o b, CUABMS W. Gb a V, i — Aiy> — Coxjhty, TtnRlnoRS attondod t o In all t b e Courts : prom pt a t te n t io n to collecting. foreelo«lner m artgages and co n v e y anc in g . A ll proceed- Insra before the Snrrosrato n specialty. All charge' lo w to stxit t h e time*. f .RATKR CllA8«.________L-KltoTN CgARK. CREEME UNION SCHOOL ORCHARD GRASS , v All Recleaned, Sixtcon men! “It hurts my tooth.\ “Docs it?” “Yes—makes ’em ache.” “It never docs mino.” “I t always docs mino—real hnrd.” “That's funDy.\ “I t docs though. Don't you want some moro ?” ATTORNEY AND'COOVPTCT.ntl AT LAW. Office Id the Insurance B u lld ln c, Gjecno, N. Y. M F . PO RT ER, —AKD — “Ho m u st havo beon boastly closo, Cbolly.\ “Ho was, dear fel’.\ A c a d e m y , A C A D E M I C Y E A R 18 8 8 - 9 . FA LI. TERM BEGINS SEPT. 8. A No. 1 SEED . e Oo e n e c l i m t o n. ATTftltNKY ANTI COUK9KLOR AT LAW. OfBco In-Empire Plock, Greeno, N . Y. Thon tho two yonng mon turned in- to Delmonico'B and drank two glasses of milk. R. P.CRA N D A L L . M-D. Offico In tho C ran d all Building:, Greeno. N. Y . T he next school y etr will open th e first Just received s car load o f Tbo consus was taken at this point and thirty-two men found gazing at tho ico wntcr tank. No W onder Ho W as Weary. wcok of Septem ber w ith an experienced Cbolly—Yon look tirod, old fel'; whatchor boon doing ? Dolly (b r iefly)—Lit er a r y work. Cbolly (sarpriBcd)—Don 't say I Wh at br anch old man ? __________________________________L. M. JO H N SO N . M .’ D., Offico In tho Insurance B uilding. Greeno. ' N . Y . __________________________ Ashton and Barrel S alt! corps o f Tcacbcra. 1 he Board of Edocattbn “My, I guess I did want Bomo moro.\ aro donfidcnt that never lo tbe history o f the “'Conrso yon did—drink a wholo l o t” ^ D R.G. O. W I LLI AM S. PHYSICIAN AND SUDGKON Offiro In tho Mnrso Block. Ticsldenco South Main S tre et. Greene. NT. Y. GARDEN SEEDS Dolly—Well, you see, I know n man who writes for papers, and this morn- ing ho asked mo to help him count tho words in nn articlo ho was going to send down town. Mighty hard work I assnro von. .Almost ns bard as writ- ing, don'tcborknow! school wero nrmngemonts better mado for tho “Don't you wnnt somo moro ?” “Yes—uftcr you got through.” “I ’ vo got enough—couldn't drink another drop.” *• Oh, yes you can.” “No, I can't Instruction of pupils than lor tho coming Of all description, by bulk and paper. In ____________B-L H OUGH TON. M D., I t OMROPAT n iO PHYRTCTAN . Office In tho CntiDlnghrim Block, Greeno, N. Y . __________________________________ term-Tuition, Academic room, SO and S7. Tbo calaloguo for 1887-8 Is published and fact they havo everything fonnil in a first- COM M ERCI AL H O TEL, Gk i i r r . N. Y . All modern t everything new thronghont Heated by ateam. The host $1.60 per da; jotxae In th e 8tate Freo Bu r s . R . n. & H. R . LEE. Proprietor*. class 0 roccry Houso, nnd Sixty-four mon reported. TIiobowho had first fallen into lino woro now speechless with tbriBt. “I ’ll just lull myself drinking so much—I know I shall.” “Oh, no you won't.” “Bat tho horrid stuff is so awfully cold.” A Bold, B a d Boy. She (flaring up)—What do yo mean by kissing me, William Henry Smith. W. H. S. (humbly)—I —I meant no disrepect, I ossuro yon. Sho (angrily)—Well, I should liko to b oo you do it again, that's all. W. H. S.—Hero goes, thon. S. (smoothing her ruffled paltnago —You nro just awful.—Courier. will b e mailed tree on application. “P h i l\ Bhoridan’s N arrow Escape. During th e Fall term , In tho Academic de Archio Wnson tolls an interesting nnecdoto about tho lato Gcnorol Sheri- dan. Years ngo, when tho California Thoatro was in its most prosperous days under tbo management of Bnr- ret nnd McCullough, aud when Mr Wnson wns Colonel of tho 3d Rogi- mobt, tho regiment gnvo General Sher- idan a reception nt tbo thentro. “Littlo i’hil\ was standing behind tho wings taking a quiet peep nt the audience. Suddenly he pointed nt Mu- sician Blyth and nsked tho Colonel: Al l Goods nt Bottom Prices partm ent, thcro w ill bo In addition to the 'R ft usual classes lo tho common English, classes FOR CA8II. TRO W BRI D GE H OUSE, Qr x r r r , N. Y. Flrat-rlaaa Houae mt.oonlv $1.00 pnr-day. Choice WJnofl. A -len, Liquors nnd Clgnre. Livery Attached Fr a m k W. TantroitntoB, #46 Paoprletor. That don't mako any differonco.” la Physiology, Algebra, (beginning and ad CALL AND SEE US. Tbo crowd of thirsty men wns now too long to count bnt n enreful esti- mate placed tho nnrabcr at ono bnn- dred and twenty-eight vanced,} Latin,,(beginning, Cceesar, Virgil.) W . A. RATH BO N E, FA 8t TI 0N ABLE BARBER . H an for I Block G reone. N. Y. Astronomy, Geometry, Political Economy, M OUSE St. I I AYES. U njust. Typo-yrrltlng. Grrene, March 20,1888. ** Let mo bavo just a littlo more.\ “Why, you will Kill yonrself—I nev- er saw anybody drink ico water so in my lifo.” “Ob, pshaw, I haven't drunk mnch. Ydu’ll want somo moro yourself bofore you go.” “Don't know but I will—jnst pnsh down on that thing again, won't you?\ “Ob, boro's onr boat—hurry up or wo'll get left I\ nnd then tho dear crea- tures left tho tin enp swinging at tho ond of tbo chain and rashed for tbe g ate. “Robert,\ snid his wifo, suspicions- ly,“ whero havo yon been 1 You’ro late to dinner.\ W ALKER & GR AY. DENTISTS. Offico In t h e Crandall Building. G reene, N. F. Gas g iven when desired. A Teachers’ Class will bo organised tbe “I sn't that Blyth t” On being answered that that was tho man, General Sheridan said : “Ask him to como up hero on the stage.” “Hello, Blyth 1” exclaimed tho Gen- eral galmost wringing tho musician's hand off his wrist.“ ThiB man saved my life, gentlemen.’’ He then told tho story of their o!d- timo friendship. When Shoridan was a yonng cavalry officer on tho border Blyth wns a private in his troop. One day tho troop had a spirited hand-to- hand fight wilh tbo Indians. “I havo boon assisting in an humble way. my dear, toward improving Uh breed of horses.” first week la December, a t the beginning of D I A M O N T D S , EXCHAN GE HOTF . L . (fo rm e rly P arker Placel Greene. N. Y ., LiBOY OOWLFS. Pr o p b i r t o s . th e W inter term . Those who Intend to en “Oh, I was afraid yon wero at tho races.”—L ife. te r t h a t cI&a s are urged to take tbe work of I N order to m ake room for t h e goods 1 have bought, I bnvc been obliged to add an other show case and h av e filled it w ith o p r os . (iowly repaired an d rofurnlihert. Table and par p m v ld ed w ith the best th o m ark et nf. ords. Terms rearamnhle. °4 0 Greene, W ar 7. 1888. W o n t h e B o o b y P riz e . th e Fall torm In preparation for tho Teach Husband (just home from tho city) —My angel! Crying ! Whatever s tho matter ? ers’ class work. GOODS AT 25o. EA C H . I would also Invito y o u r atten tio n to tbo fact th a t I have a Wife — Thoy havo — awarded me — prize medal—(sobbing)—f my spongo enko D - , L. a n d W . R. B . T ixae T a b le s B. P. CRANDALL, M. D., President. Then tLo crowd of men fonght with ono another, and snrged around tbe water cooler, and tboBe who wero not too far gono with thrist mado ro marks short but deop; and perhaps a quarter of tbem managed to getn drink beforo tbo boat started.—New Yprk Tribune. A dopted June 26th, 1888. TXAtKS MOVIKO H0BTI1 .RtCBFitLD — M .8 .Pa b k k b Secretary Num ber o f Cheap W atches Husband (soothingly)—And I ’m snro it deserv— .RtCBFitLD Da t Ex pb r-8 — Leavo Bingham- ’ton a t 8:40 p. * .; Chenango Forks 8:68: Greene 4:14 ; Brisbln 4 :2 4 : O ovenfrv 4:30; Oxford 4:39 ; Norwich 4:63 ; arriving at Richfield Junction 6:01 p . x-' R io b tiild akp U tioa N xonr Expbkw —Leave Philadelphia 6:00 p . v., New Yovk 9:00. Bing- ham ton 4:30 a . h., G reene 6:03, Brisbin 6:18, Oxlord 6:83, Norwich 6:60, Richfield Ju n c- tion 7 :12, U tica 8:00 a. m . Ut io a Ex pk r s s —tieave Binghamton 7.40 a. m.; Chenango Forks 8:02; (freene 8:20; Brls- bin §:80; Oxford 8:60; N orw ich 9:05; Sher- burne 9:28; Eickfield J n u c tlo n 10:27; Utica 11:05. U tic a 15xp*m8—Leaves Binghamton at 4:20 v . M. Chenango Forks 4:40. Groeno 5:00, Brisbln 6:1G, Oxford 5:40, Norwich 6:00, Blcbfield Junction 7:25, Utica 8:00 p. u, Local F reight, Greene 7 :16 a h. Through F reight. Greene 12:45 a. m. Goal 2:00 a . h.: 8:20 a . m. TBAIHS M0VIWG.SOUTH. on hand th a t 1 will sell below cost. Sheridan, as nsaal, was in the thick- est, and just as bo was swishing his sa-‘ bre over tbo head of a [red devil who bnd shot nt him witb a revolver, anoth- er Indian lassoed tho General around tbo neck. In another moment ho would have been pulled off his horso and trampled to death under the horses had not Blyth promptly cut tbo lasso with bis sabre. W:fe (hysterically)—Oh—but—'t said—’t was for tho best specimen o' concrete!—Bunch. Mv Stock of Watches, Jewelry * o Anson Weakness. —AKD — “But tbo worst ot nil isms,\ said a lecturer on scctaurinnisn;,“ is pugi- lism.” Tbo W orst Ism. Chicago young lady (at tho Polo grounds)—Wo are quite proud of An- son in’ Chicago. Young Mr. Gotham—Yes,’ Mi3S Breezy, ho is a fine player. Bat I think ho has rather too much to say. Chicago youug lady—Yes, that is liaby’s great failing; be doesn’t keep his face closed enough. S IL V E R W A R E is now complete. *’ I know a worse ism limn that,” said n lame man in tho back of tbo hall. “What is it?\ “Rheumatism.”— Boston Globe. Call in and Look m e Over. Sheridan, who by this time had bis iro thoroughly aroused, pursued the Indian who had thrown the lariat, and almost decapitated him with a stroke of his sabro. ■ ■ ■■■ Yours Bcspectfully, CHAS. W .WELCH. Greeno, May 30, 1888. How He Got Rich, “I was always poor when I was boarding,” said Smith. “I low did you tuako your money then asked Jones. “I began to keep boarders myself.\ —Courier. Tako Y our Choice. H U M PH REYS' The Amateur*. “So yon nre an artist, Mr. Rug- ley “Yes, iu a small way.\ “Could you draw a picture for mo V’ “I am afraid not. I ’m not a profes- sional you sec. I only attempt to por- tray the beautiful in nature, through pure lovo of it.” A Cleveland organ says freo trade in this connty would bo“a blessing in disguise.” Protection, however, is a blesstDg visible to the naked eye.— Chronicle. N .Y . and PmtA.DMPHiA Expeebs—Leaves Btchfield Junction 12:20 a . m.; Norwich 1:26; Oxford 1:42; Coventry **1:60; Brisbin *1:66, G reene 2:06; Chenango Forks 2:19 ; Ring h am to n 2:40 ; Scranton 4 : 2 81N ew York 8:50; P hiladelphia 9:80 p. «. Ni o h t Fxpnass—Leaves Utica a t 8:10 p h .; N orw ich 10:02; Oxford 10:21; C oventry °10: 2 9 ; Brisbin ®10:86; G reene 10:47; Chennngo P orks 11:04; Binghamton 11:28; Scranton 2:30 a . a.; New York 7:30, Pa s ik h o m i — Leaves U tica a t 6:85 a. m.; jn,suxrBBsrs'aoos Cloth &Co!d Binding 141 r«*at, *IU SM*I lacntrtaf, xiiunran. Mliw. P. 0. Ito* 1SI0. n. T. - FBICX. N o Chanco in tbis Case. O bjected* t o I t usTOrnaaciriLxoa cuuiVVOM - Pav4ra»Congeftion, Inflararastioni... W onM t Worm Fever. Worm Colic.... Cr yi n g ci l fCjO r Teething of Ipfintt* DUrrnea> ofCh i d r en or Adolta* •.... D ysen t er y. Gripinr. BiHou* Oouo.... Ch ol er a VotnfUng.............. Conch**Cold. Bionchiti s. ....... NenrnltU. Toothtcbe. F*cesebe 25 Hee^eche*. Sick Headache. Vorflgo. .25 FBICX. .25 ^25 .25 .25 •25 •25 .25 Smith—New, there's Jones. He is ono of the oddest men I ever know. Brown—That explains it. I 've been trying a year to get oven with him and failed.—Jiitiff. llep. “Papa, I wis’ oo wouid tiss me wif muftacbo cup; oo rbuftacho ticklo A Sad Blow. so.”—B a za r. m.; N o rw ic h 8 :3 3 ; Oxford 8 :5 0 ; C oventry 9:01; B risbln 9:18; Greene 9: 30; Chenango Forks 10:04; Binghamton 10:28 ; Scranton 1 :26p m; N ew Y ork 7 :0 0 ; Philadelphia 7:30. Brito. a n d Eu i i b a Ex p b e m — Leaves Utica A t 4:35 p. M., Ju n c tio n 6 :1 8 ; Sherburne 6:24; N orw ich 6:46,; Oxfoid 7:00; B risbln 7 :1 6 ; G reene 7,:26; Chenango Forks 7:42 Bing, b a m to n 8:00. Local F re ig h t, Greene 3:05 p. x. Through F reig h t, Grceho, 8:28 i*. ic. Coal 10:47 h .'«., S:40 h. a. A S tar ( “I In d ica tes th a t train s do n o t rtop. N o t O ften E n ou g h . Tho young man who is foo fresh generally finds himself in a pickle soon- er or later. Wife (retrospectively)—I can remem- ber so well, John, how fond yon and my first husband were of each other. You were hoys together, and your friendship lasted to the end. Husband (sadly)—Ah, yes, poor fellow! bis death has'been a sad'blow to me. > o.» <- OM EOPATH IC Paste This tn Your Hat. Dy*»«*>l a. Billooj Kt om ich-.-.fl.... s j u r n K i or Pal n r al Per t o # a ..... i l * ,, too Profqs. Perlod« ._. Whoo; MlUxis..... rli ,InflneuM. Cola In t h a Head i of-t h a H ear t , PAlpTtet<oa ..2 .25 .25 •25 •25 .25 •25 •50 .50 •50 .50 .50 •50 •OO •50 .OO Pay heed to tbo idle' rumor.\ Sonne day tho idlo roomer may fail to pay his room rent. Foffcuno may render a man m it is only himself that can make despicable. Worth Remembering So I t Would Seem. A Taste. . I t seems as though the cavalry ought to bear the brunt of hoss-tilities.. Young Noble-Jones—Good-morning. Miss do Stael. Selecting diamonds? Oh, do let me assist you. I assure you I am a perfect epicure in diamonds.— Jioztbr. C IG A R S . SMQKF the“ LIT ILE TYRANT ’’ Cigar, manufactured by the Critorttm Cigar Co , o f Greene. An c x c cllan t smoking Cigar, s old hy aH dealers. ' - C Cost Money, Too. A dog makes some noige whon. he pants, but a dudes pants are loudoL— Chronidle. P E C I F I C S . It Comes to Stay, Though. Filling a Jong-felt want—the dentist hammering gold into a cavity. • ^5JJXb7Dni»*i«u!orlsnrpo«t|>iI<l onrfloaiptot -ii;« p ¥ h ia !MiBiaa>tw.lo» r u nst. x t . BARNES & CONGDON, B IN G H A M T O N Marble and Granite Works. E stablished in 1840. HAMUrAOrCBBBS OT ALL KINDS Of M A E B L E AND GRANITE MONUMENTAL WORK. ersons in. need of an y th in g in th is lin e ot CEMETERY WORK , w ilt find i t to th eir ad v an tag e to call and ex amine a s we b ave th e largest assortm ent th a t Can be found i n any establishment in Central Mew Y ork, at Gold prices. *19 B . W E B B . CASH PA ID FOB ' -B u t t e r , HIDES AND SKINS. A t my late place o t business, Cunningham Block. Greone, March 13,1887. WAGON SHOP . J fP W T I ■Shop in th e new Blacksmith 8bop of Benjamin Hayes. Mew work m ade to order o f the best stock. Bepatring d o n e prom ptly on* sh o rt notice. A ll w ork warranted. Whiflletree an d Neck yoke woods on baBd. Can furnish Lumber wagon Springs, carrying capacity of 1,000 to 6,000 lbs. Also an y th in g in th e lin e of wagon work o n short notice. ; Two band m ade one-horse carriages for sale. Greene, J n n e 1, 1887. °34 ‘ Fj A. BEACH. Cigar,
