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Mohawk Valley register. (Fort Plain [N.Y.]) 1854-1866, March 29, 1860, Image 1

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j|l0l)atuk ISalkti VOL. VI. FORT PLAIN, MONTGOMERY CO., N. Y., THURSDAY, MARCH 29, I860-. NO. 47. MOIIIWK mm REGISTER An Independent Family Journal, iH i-nsf.HURo E ‘VH3Irl.\2\ T?I-3:TJ3R.£=JXD-i^'3r, W EBSTER & B R A D B U R Y . r p E r i M S , —T o YIU.A.OR SlTBSCIUIIEUB, IIAVIJsG i thoir p'Jner <l«!ivc'ie<l by t!ie C'iin ifr, SI •»<* per annum . To Offit-e and Mail .subscribers. 9 1 « 5 per annum . ;8Sr.Vll KulwiTiptions invariably in A dvakce —and wJien not paid within .six inontiiH, an additional cluarge of P ifty C ents will be made. RATES OP ADYERTISIXO : One Square, (20 lin e s or Ic.ss) first insertion,...$ .'iO u *< “ “ each Hub. i n s . . . . 25 \ “ One y e a r , ............................................ « hO Q iiarterC o l. “ ..........................................i5 oo H a lf C olum n , ‘‘ ...................... ^ S p w ia i X o tices,\ first insertion ....................... 75 “ each s u b .in s e r t io n , ........... f)0 L egai . N otices inserted at the rates a llowed by S tatute. Business Cards, $3 6 0 p e r y ''ar. _ A d v ertisem ents, unaccompanied by special laBtrnctioiiH. w i i l - a t the iliscretion of the r n b lish- era be contwiied until paid foram l ordered ou t .a—’ charged aenordinglv. Term s for a d v e r tising—Pi m e n tin advance.nhlessotherw ise agreed upon. § u i 5 » n w CELXVOOD & G ARN E T T , O T o r t P l a i n M a r b l e A V o r k s. B v o n - thing ill Uiirt bi-.iiicli d <iie in llie higlicNt iieiTection of Art. Hli'i]t one door West o f lloweifM Hotel. C-0 KlCnAIlb bELWOOW. JOHN OAUNKTT. A B L E R & K E L S E Y , yJ RefrcHlinient 8iiloon. Umler lican- der Fo.x’s Taib.iiiig PstablHhment. Ojeters in their.season, in every variety. 6- HEKUY CASbKU. GEO. KEbSEY. X p S o . RODE, Main Street, ne.xt door to Lipe’s Crockery Store. W E B S T E R & CROUNSE, : : : | S o ^ o i X w T S ^ VETEli o! WEB.STEB. ...... .. N. Y. CENTRAL RAILROAD. W I N T E R A R R A X G E M E X T . 1 2 3 Q O . m il further notice P is.sou-'er Trains will run as follows F O R T P L A I N . Buff. & Alb.Ae. li 3S r.ji.'A lb. and IT. A c. H.H e.M. Cle. & N . Y *E x .':5.'I5^* m -| -Ylb .A S .B .\e.. I0.l t a . m . U. and Alb. Ac. s.OS a . m . Mull and Kmi. 1 00 c .. m . M ail. 11.50 A.5i.'AIh..t U. Ac. K.50 ivit. Buff.& AIh.Ae. (> 20 e.M. N ew York Mail, l . t l a . m . Buff. & A lb.A c . li.lii e.M.! A Ibany A U . A c. s.2() e.M. C K & N .Y .E .X . 4 3W * ! H Y .V .A S .B ..A c .r;.2l^ U tica A A l. A c. 0.00 A.M.i.Bail and Mmi, 12,01 e.M. gttstuc'sii! (Cawfe. T j A R n i s ' l m n N r la i' .' ? KENHY ST lO riT & SON, J ji R o r t t m i d W lioc . R a n ii /H c t a r c r s . A l l kinds of l•u•^tl>m wot k , done on . Iioi t notice. Sliop in IJpuKman <*1 lliu !5of>L (J-r HKSKV J-TICIIT. 1 3 A R N E S & W R IG ITT, X > B u t c h e r s . M a r k e t in t h e AVood Buildiiigs, corner of lliver and Canal S ts., Port 0. D. BAUNES. W. WKIGIIT. ■ W O O D & KLOCK, T T W h o l e s a l e a n d R e t a i l D e a l e r s in Groceries, Plmir. Salt, Pisli, Provisioiib, fron, &<•.- Canal St., Port Plain. «-2 EDWIN VV. WOOD. O H E A R E R & C K O N K IIIT E , any quantity o f Wall Paper cheap for Cash. Store Cor. Main and Canal Streeta. 0-2 STEIMIEN KI.OCK. ■ p A T T IN & H A W N , X M a n n t h c t n r c r .s o f , a m i W h o l e s a l e and I’etail Dealer.s in Bools and Shoes. Cana! Btrect. nOBEKT PATTIV. JDANIEb HAWN. T A C O B W E N D IB iL , A t t o r n e y a n d < lo iin - .e llo r a t L t i w . and Justice of tlie Peaos, Cor. .M.iiii and C.tnal fjtreetH. '< 2 A P .n ,A M 'S A ia’KMAN\ w ill be tirompilv attended to. 5-3 m A v T f T ^ G i h T l i N « , X _ / D e p u t y S h e r i f f , Wt. J o l i n s v i l l c , N . Y . A ll busine.sH directed to him us above, will he promptly attended to. 5-12 K E L L E R & CO., ■rrELLOGG & SN Y D E R , XV. S u r g e o n D e n t i s t s . R o o m s o v e r W . 6 Parley's Hardware Store, Union Block, Ifain Street, G-2 DAYTON 8. KELLOGG. rETKK SNYDEB. A ND R E W D U N N , -O l Dealer in ami Repairer o f a ll kinds of Clocks, Watches, and Jewelry. Silver and Pla­ ted W are, Fancy Goods, &c., kept constantly on hand. Cor. Canal and llivision ,Sts. G-2 X T B. W ILLIA M S , XX» D e a l e r in H a r d w a r e , I r o n , S t o v e s , Cutlery,MechanicB’ Iinp'.ements, ,'lcc.., &c.,aiid Miin- ufacturer o f Tin, Sheet Iron, and Copper Ware.— Canal Street. G-2 ■jVrORTON & BR OTHER, F a m i l y G r o c e r i e s , F l o u r , I ions, Crockery, China Ware, &i, Unior Main Street. B. A. NOnTON. T ^ H E R L E R & SON, X J # Dealers in Cloths, Cassimers, Vest­ in g s, Shirts Collars, Ac. G.ariiieiits made, and Cut­ tin g done on short notice. Canal Street LAWKENOE IlEHLEB. WILLIAM IIESLEK. Q J. DY G E RT, Keeps the Empire Saloon, in the Adams Building, next dour to the Bank. Meals and Ilefreslimeiits served at all Iioiirs from 8 a . M, to 10 p. M. Oysters In every variety. <i-2 7 OLLER & lU C K N E Y , JU D e a l e r s ilittcms. il St., JNO. A' aOLLI Valises, Ac. Cai e a l e r s in H a t s , Cups, F u r s , Gloves, .'ilitten Wools, Trunks, Uiiibrellus, Ac., lanal S t., Port Plain. 0-^2 D. a. IIAOKNEY. LOKENZO CHOrNPE. •O G A L IC K , door West of Lipe’s Crockery Store. 0-3 ■ W S. FA R L E Y , TT • Dealer in Ilar<lwarp,8tovcs, Cut lery. Mecli'jriii s’ liiiiilcincntH. .tc. Also iimnurac- tiire.s Tin. Sheet Iron, and Copper to order. Union Block.M a in Street. «-4 P E T Z I N G E R & S T f c n E L 7 ’^ M a n u f a c t i i r e r s o f W a g o n s , S l e i g h s , ami Cairiages. diso. B)ac];sniitliiiig in all its ’ — ’ - .......‘'eiiticm to Hor““ am i Ca iriages. brancliou—and iiig. Shop I particular attent main Street. A L F B E D CARY^, x l General Insuriuiet G e n e r a l In H u r a n e c A K e iit.—P o l i c i e s ' i f '‘Effl™™\ » '”S K p u F U K l . i i n k r J t D e a l e r i n E a r t h e n , G l a s s a n d C h i n a Ware, Pajier Hanging-', Window Sliade.s, A c. Also keeps on Ic.iiid a clioicc wipply of Pumiiy Groceries. Store in the Webster Bnilding, Main St. G-2 T/'LO C K & CROURE, XV. D e a l e r s i n G r o c e r i e s a n d P r o v i s i o n s , Books. Stutioiiery, Tio-s, Puiicy Artivies, Periodi­ cals. Ibiily Papers, &c. Caioil b treet. .5-4!) ■■ lUATio Ki.ofK. ■ MENZO CUOU.SK. P A B C O C K & GBKGOBY, X X W h o l e s a l e a n d R e t a i l D e a l e r s in Drugs. Mcdi'diies, Paiiit.s, Oils. Dye-Slull.s, Glass- Suhli, Dool.s. I'erlnmery, Ac. Caiial .Street, G-2 w\ M.liU Clotl K. SANKOIID GKEGOHY. I. DILLX^NBKCK, ifa e t i i n - r A- D e a l e r in l.i'i |is oil h.iitil a fill (hi'toin Moik made to i h s. CiO-siiiici's, /i Ciiii.il Stiei l. JIAhTIN tTK'IlT. The “ Forget-me-not.” N estling in its soft reposo IVlierc the rusliing river flows, Hidden ’nciith tlie iiiOHS-baiiks high, Ilcsh'd by ripjiling cadence nigh, a flow 'rof azure blue, Grows f Beam ini iiziire blue, heaven’si h ig hack the l And the sweet forget-me not” Chumis tlic calm and peaceful spot. Thus the early legends s.ay; “ By the water's g iisfiiin g way Stroll'd a knight and maiden fair, W h p p nng vn\T.s ot fondnees there ; Wlien the maiden's raptur'd sight Glanced upon the flow'ret bright, Resting on tlie mead beside The impetuous, foaming tido. “ A t the maiden’s brief command. A s she waved lier jew el’U hand, Down the shelving hank he sprung. To the moss-grown rocks ho clung, W hile he cla.sp’d the lovely flower. Soon to deck hia fair one’s bower— But liis treaeh'rons grasp unfurl’d. And the knight was downward hurl’d \ With a Im-t convulsive breath, Ere his cyelid.s closed in death, He the flower of azure hue ~iy the shrieking maiden tlirew, Ind, witli struggle vain to save, lank heiicath the Singing wave ; T ALLEN, • P h o t o g r a p h «Sr A m h r o t y p e R o o m .s, WcliHtcr’s Biiikliiig. over Lipe's Crockery Hlore. Gilt nml Iio‘'ewood I’ictiire Pranies of all size.s id htyle.s manufaclurcd to order. 7-fi noBKicr n . siikakeu . |lahu far prhmrkoJiy. TltAN.SfOltfKI) FOB I.IF1C : — 'I'lio t u a ii w h o m a n ie . s liiij)|iily . When women he\in tocoiinl their nilnnieis, il isn’t apt to itike them long to Tim eo.'it of a horah is lli« gift of naluiH. Tliat of an ass is often the work of a tailor. As a man drinks ho gorK-rally crows rocldoss. In his c.'ise, the more diainsthe fewer sernjiloa. it®!\ At what time of day was Adam crealed?— A‘little before Eve. An Irish paperadverlises, “ Wanted, an able-bodied man as a washer-woinau.” Why couldn’t Job sloop at night 1 — Because he had 8Ueh misorahle com­ forters. JC.W The studio of a first rate portrait- painter imisi be a perfect bedlam—it is full of striking likenesses. JtW The young woman who was “ diiven to distraction,” now fears she will have to walk back. “ You seem to walk more erect than usual, my friend.” —“ Y cb , 1 have been straitened’ by circumstances.” UST “Can’t wo make your lover jealous, miss V '—“ Oh, yes, sir, I think we can, if we put our heads together*' £ W A modern tourist calls the Niagara River “ the pride of rivers.” That pride certainly has a iremendouu fall. JSST Love can excuse anything except meannefis: hut meanness kills love, and cripples even natural affection. X^-iSr She that marries a man because he is a “ good match,” must not 1»« Rm-- prised if he turns out a “ Lucifer.” J3 T Why was Herodias the fastest wo roan of her day ?—BocauHe she got a headi of John the Baptist on a. chargor. /3 T An English iniBsionary now in wrote huine that he had And, with Bank heiicath the Singin g wave ; AVJjjle the echo hJ] d the wpot With liis cry, ‘ Forget me not!’ ” Even ftt this diHUnt duy. Fur beneath the simlight*8 ray Irt a fftint and murky Hheen, A b of nruior, dinriiy «een ; Bhrouded by the wat'iy deep Stcepsitho knight his world-long sleep ; .And tJie Power he died to Blooms aljout biu silent grave. A , A . A t ) ke . From Gleason’s Literary Companion. Meliie Harwell’s Housekeeping. BY CLAUA AUGUSTA. “ My dearest Nellie !” “ Deiir Horace !’’ “ And you will he content to take me as I am—a poor cleik, with only seven hundred a year? Yon 4Vill be happy to pass life with me in a Binall house, and miientJ to (ho domestic afliiirs yourself?” “ Yes, Horace.” “ But, have you considered, my best be loved, how gieat a burdou this may some- tiroes be ?” A burden ! O, Horace, ns if anything Shat J do for you would be « burdCn I A HWeel liltle vine wreathed collage will he fJchghtfu). A cozy liomo all lo ourselves, and no prying housenmids to sjiy into ev y thing we do, and prale of our faults and failingH lo the whole ncighhoihood !” “ And no htii rn s'cak, and black coffee ! Iloublv delicious the ambrosial rieclarthat your lily liands shall'prepare, my day-star, my wife—that is to be.” upon ibis followed a con­ cussion which made the window.s clatter as in the breath of a tempest; and from what little experience we have had in such premises, wo must venluro to affim that !!ie kissed her— which of course sealed the com pact. Horace Ilaiwell was a fine looking young fellow of ill ice-and twenty—a clerk in a jobbing imuse of Mai tin «fe Turner ; and Nellie Armstead was the daughter of a man who, lliuugii by no means weuiiliy, had a womb-iful talent for appearing so.— In iliia laudable endeavor ho was aided by his wife—a harid.some, showy woman, who brought her dituglpor up to orriameni the parlor, to the utter exclusion of the kitchen. Therefore, Nellie was not well ipiulified by education, to become the mis Hess of a house, and the regululor of its domeslie. (ilfairs. Horace Harwell had fallen in love with her pretty face at a picnic; and, on ob taiiiing an introduction, the infatuation had increased, until he came to I ho coii- clusion that he could not live without her ; and Nellie was firmly convinced that elie should pine away and die if separated from Horace. And having succeeded in eon viucirig Mrs. Harwell of this fact, that lady informed her husband, and the good man had nothing lo do but cousent to the marriage which was to be the means of saving two valuable lives. Une hne, sunny m 3 and Nellie stood ng in May, Hor- up before the clergy­ man, and after that the people called Nel lie, Mrs. Ilarwell, and congratulated her on the happiness which waa within reach. The young couple took up their resi deuce in a neat, one story house, n little removed from the bustle of the city, and easy of accesH from the store where Hor­ ace was CMuployed. And here they first came to realize that Longfellow was not far from the truth, when he said, “ Life is real, life is e srnest.’’ The house was comfortably, if not luX' uriously furnished; and au ample atouk of the good things of life was laid in lor Nellie to exercise her skill upon as a cuia- When everything was put to iighls, and Horace had gone to his place of busiueas, leaving many a lover like kisaon the white foieltead of Iris wife, together with the in­ timation that he should expect dinner at three tr’clock, Nellie consulted her watch, and found that she had full four long bouri a pudding; a rice one, I guess, will be best. And then there must be potatoes and bread. That will sulfice for the eat- ahlet-; now fur the diinkahle.s, as Aunt Kezial) says. Shall I have tea, coffee, chocolate or water f My head doesn’t feel very well, and it shall be tea; tea helps settle anybody’s head. I ’ve heard motlier say. That is all, 1 believe —no, there’s the ssu(!e ; there must he some kind of sauce. Shall il be apple or cranberry ? For this once, cranberry; it’s an abominable job to pare apples, and it stains one’s bands so shockingly ; and Horace can’t endure stain­ ed hands. I’ll go and make a fire, now.” And Buiiing the action to the word, Nellie, after some search, found the coal shovel, Hud put into the stove ’ r peck of coal, and ignited a bunch of friction matche.s. Then she stood quiet, awaiting the conflagration wliich was to ensue.— Nothing alarming occurred ; there considerable smoke and a powerful strong stnell of brimstone, but no great fira. concluded that the matches cidn’t ly burning, and believini ble smoke and a powerful s Slie get fair she tried another bunch ing this could not fail of accom 1 milk, sugar, and salt I little nutmeg and a cou pushing her design she retired to the pan­ try as the next field of operation. After considerahle thought on the subject, site doeided to making the pudding first; it would be the most difficult job, she argued. Well, how was it to he made ? “ The Re vised American Cook Book and Delicate Housewife’s Especial and Valushle Fiiend in Need,” was called in play. There was a paragiHpli on ihe cover to the effect that you would find everything worth knowing between the lids of that valuable casket of diamonds ; and Nellie fondly believed tliat people in genera) prefer speaking the truth to a lie! So she opened that book in fidl faith touching its veracity. “ Rice Pudding. Put the rice to soak in hike warm water, having picked it clei of all impurities ;add milk, sugHf, and si to your taste. A pie of eggs improve il.” “ Goodness me!” ejaculated NelTle, how am I to know anyiliing about it, I wonder ? How much is a little nutmeg ? And how much rice, and milk, and sugar, will he enough ? And, as I live, if there aint the awfulcst smut spot on my skirt! Mercy ! 1 must wash that out the first thing!” And, forgetful, of pudding and dinner, she flew to the wash bowl, and Hciulihed the soiled cattihrick (ill its gasp ing threads cried eloquei'lly foi quai ter. By the time this was cleansed she fpietl a second spot, located on the sleeve of her dressing gown, and this must undergo Ihe same elaborate ,proee.ss as the foinu-r blemish. When thus much was gone ttirough with, she saw that the rose on her bosom was in a decidedly disabled condi lion—the rose itself being among the mis­ sing, and the two delicate buds biokeu and willed. So Nellie had to go upstairs and got a fresh blosstuu. Horace admired Howers, and thought Nellie became them H in a z in g ly . “ Now the pudding must be mixed, for certain,” said she, asumning a pretty air of importance, which, unloitunaiely, no one WHS there to see. “ Let me read that re ccipt over again. ‘ Pick it clean of all impuritfes.’ 1 wonder if that means the water, or the rice, it can't mean the rice, assuredly, for lluit is dean as can be; it is double refiiietl—no, double distilled—mer­ cy ! strange that 1 sliould foiget the label oil the box ! Well, it’s pure rice, that don’t need any picking, any way. Jlow much rice will it take? Goodness! I wish the cook hook was a little more defi nile. Hometime, I’lJ write one myself, that will give all the parliculaiB, to a tea hpoonful. Well, we shall want the large white dish full: I ’ll measure it, and see how much it holds.” And away flew Nellie lo gauge the pud­ ding dish, in order to calculate the quanti­ ty of rice needed for the pudding. She found the plate capable of containing two quarts, and from this she concluded that two quarts of rice would be quite enough. The extravagant item was measured out, and committed lo a tin pan full of water, to undeigo the soaking process, and Nellie surveyed with dismay what remained in the box. “ Dear m o ! it must be terrible expen­ sive to keep bouse (here's almost every of that rice gone for one pudding) ; and Horace only seven hundred dollars time before she could break dear fiom the tenacious intruders ; the steel frame wmk of her skeleton held on like tiue metal, and the hooks of the steelyards were bound not to let go ; so a compioinise was made, Nellie divested herself of the warlike garment, and disengaged at their leisure. Ladies t the combatants whose modesty causes them to blush at the mehtion of what distends their flounces, need not read this paragraph ; we assure you the story is complete without it, Nellie hail heard her mother’s cook say that pounding meat made it tender; and, in pursuance of this knowledge, she put the pieces of steak in the rnorter, and pounded them until the perspiration stream ed down her face and her aim ached in­ tensely with the exertion. As for the meat it is best not to say much regarding its appearance ; but il more strongly resem­ bled a poultice than anything else. W hile Nellie was thus engaged, the cat --R family pet—-had taken posHessiori of tFe remainder of the steak, and was enjoy ing it to her feline heart’s content, in the shadow of the pickle jar. “ S c a t! scat 1 you beast! Shoo ! scat, there 1 Shoo, I say !” cried Nellie, drop­ ping the mortar, and making at pussy with the pestle elevated above her bead. The cat, to avoid the iniperding blow, made a sidelong spring, knocking down a shelf which held several vessels of milk, and this ihclf falling upon the egg basket, smashed a chosen dozen of as good eggs as ever a delighted hen caekeled over. Nellie had quite a mind to sit down in the midst of the ruin and indulge in a good cry ; but she controlled herself, and after mopping up the milk, to the great detriment of her white garments, she went out into the kitchen to see what pro­ gress the fire was making. There was not the least vestige of a fire about the premi­ ses, and poor Nellie was in despair. Just thou she spied a boy going by; an idea struck her. She put up the window, and c a l l e d o u t- “ Here, boy— b ore! I’ll give you a ninepence to do a little job for me.” Tlie boy’s eyes glistened at the prospect, and he obeyed her call with alacrity; but when she told him 10 make a fire, he laughed in her face. However, be was a capital lad —so Nellie thought—and ere long, by his skilful application of kind lings, a brisk fire was in process. The stipulated price was jmid, and Nellie con ■sidcred it a good bargaiti. Tile pudding w a s in the oven—the perelied upon the top of tlia stovi-; thing was en traine. By and by the g from tlie fat began to smell raih unpleasant; it filled the room with )ke so dense and stifling that poor Nel ring. I won’t I endued to ; and Sumatra lately tho “ satisfaction” of examining the oven T O S IA H PLA N K , O Dealers in Boots, Shoes, Leather, „ ■* /••’jj’'” — -• . j ——v.'ii ke.,ke. Custom work done in tho beat maimer, England, 60 excessively hoiieit that hw OD short notice. Canal St,, Fort Plain, \ ~ ............ ' *■ P. FER G U S O N , T ) 0 . GIBSON, W I L L I A M BOW E N , *» Deputy B h e H ff and Fort Plain, N. Y. All bmlnesa will rsMive prompt attauUon. id Constable 5 entrusted (0 bixn in which hie ptedeuessor wau baked. jCF* There is a lawyer in Plyraotitb,, puts nil his flowerpoti out over nights, so determined it he tbat ererythiug s I ih III have its dew. tS T Why is a man climbing up Mount Vesuvius like an Imlunan who wishes to kiss his Bweet-lieari ?—Because he want* lo get at the mquth of the “ cratur.” Q uit * UNNEoassxnv.— A lady being asked to join a union of (he “ Daughters of Temperance,” replied, “ It is unneces lary, as I intend to join one of the Rons, aooD.” Sensiblt lady, that. year I I must try to be sayii use so much sugar as I inlet the receipt says a little nutiuej won’t put in so much us that, is real virtue.” Soliloquizing thus' to herself, Nellie mixed the rice, water and all, with a cup of milk, H teacupful of sugar,two uubeai- en eggs, a half cup of salt, and a tew grains of nutmeg. This precious compound she put into the oven of the stove, and then proceeded to examine the fire. This WHS not BO easily done, as there was no fire to be examined. Nellie thought she nev­ er did see such a contrary stove in her life ; and by way of approving its contumacious jf ----- - 1 .- ---------------- 1 _ e ------- (onfuls of B kiiclieit, she thouglil; she had ‘ ed a lighted luclfer to it. The eft'ect was read so much of untidy housekeepers, i t , astunishing; the covers of the stove were never should be said that the went around blown off' like a heaver in a north the house in shpsiiod shoes or dingy wrappers! 0, no, homework never should be s!Oven loiter I So Nollje went up to hor chamber, ar­ ranged her hair iu becoming ringlety douued a pretty white cashmerey’tftp'notr over an embroidered skirt ; and with blsck velvet bracelets on her arms, and a blush sea; the steak groaned and spit; and in tatoes in the pot — the steak on the gi nd ig ttm t poc lie’s eyes grew red and tearful; and the tortured meat sizzled and hissed and turn­ ed black as a bear’s skin. Ncdlie threw open the doors, and stuck lo her task of tinning the burdou on the gridiron, resolv­ ed in vulgar, though expressive parlance, to grin and bear it. The pudding boiled over a continual stream ; the potatoes bounced up and down in the kettle like cockle shells in a the midst of it all the clock struck throe. Punctual to the hour, Horace’s step sound­ ed in the enliy ; the kitchen door was fiutig open with the lover’s impetnoeity, and that individual invaded the smoky preciticts. “ Good gracious, Nellie 1 is tho house on fire? Conic hero this moment, darling.— What under the canopy ails your face?— I’ts blacker than the ace of spades, beg­ ging yonr pardon for the comparision. Do look into tho glaas, Nell.” He wheeled her round towards the mir­ ror, and surely, tho picture there presented was not the most attractive one that a young husband might wish to look upon. The ashes which had been evolved from the stove through her intonnittiug at- dancing to the floor. “ How much tea will it take for us ?” “ I don’t know, I ’m sure,” said Horace, slowly. “ What does your cook book say ?” Nellie consulted the work, “ It says a ‘ quantity proportionate to the family.’ How much would that be for 08 ?” “ Well, I don’t know ; about a cup full, I should think.” So a cupful was put into the urn ; hot water was added, and the two hoiisekeep erssat down, and wailed paiieutly for the steeping to be finished. At last the tea WHS drawn ; Hot ace sugared and ci earned it, and put the cup to his lips. “ Good heavens!” cried he, in dismay, “ it’s strong enough t>3 bear up a long boat! And black, too ! No more black ink needed in this house yet awhile 1 We must drink water to day. There, there, never mind; it was all my works.” Nellie’s leais began to flow again,, and Horace leaned over the table to kiss her ! hot tea at the same of his white vest.— The amount of caloric contained in the fluid was decidedly unpleasarit, and poor Horace under the influence of the pain, kicked over his chair, and broke the lo o k ­ ing glass with the flourish of his elbows. Then he begged Nellie’s pardon—picked up the ebair—removed the fragments of the mirror—kissed his Niohe of a wife, and sat down to finish his dinner. Alas for his appetite 1 The steak was nothing but a burut cinder—outrageously detri­ mental to morals am] incisor.H; tlie poia toes were nonest; and Horace saved all his poweis for the pudding. And lie had need of them. The desert was brought on, poured into appropriate receptacle, and Horace Iped himself and his wife to bountiful portions, “ Tuik’s Island! and crystalized lime stone !” cried he, dropping his first mouth fill back into his plale.^ “ Lot’s wife must ferehead, upsetting the hot tea « lime into the bosom of his wli have been imported in the last steamer.” “ Why, Horace!” exclaimed Nellie, in alann, “ what is the matter with the pud iig?” “ Halter than saltitudus! Do taste, Nell.” One mouthful was siiffi<'ienf, Nellie’s pretty face was screwed up into a hundietl pIK 'keiS. “ Why, Horace, who would have thought it ? 1 only put in half a cup full.” Dinner pa-ised off' r.itlier hobeily. Nd lie was mollified at llie ill siiceess of liei hard work. Horace was obliged to quit the table liungry ; and we all kimw that a mail witli an empty slumacli (ami the piObpecl of ihiU organ’s reiuaiiiiiig thus) is a formidable atiimai. However, Ids good humor returned di reetly. He kissed Nellie good-by, ami' left her to the task of washing the dishes — no easy duty, by the way. This dinner, and its accompaniments, was but the prototype of many another dinner. It would he infinitely amuHing to tlie r«ader to follow Nellie Harwell tlirough the four weeks following her re moval lo a house of her own. She invariably forgot to make the bed until she went up stairs to retire ; the lamps were never filled till the moment they were wanted ; the carpels were swejit after she had dusted the furnituie; she boiled tho ealieo dollies and Ihe while ones logeilior; made starch fiom cold wa ter; ironed IJorace’s dickies wrong bide out; sewed up tho fiiigjffe of his gloves; mistook salt for saleratus, aud turlar emel ic for salt; burnt the m eat; forgot to sweeten the sponge cake, and made a huii dred other bluiuleis which eveiy inexpe ricnced housekeeper can imagiue for her self. A month of this kind of existence pass­ ed away, and Nellie broadied a plan to her liusband. Horace was only too do- ligliied to consent. Their house was siiut ue B ove uirougu ner imer uuug ° ^ boa.iJing ’’:f‘ r, n I i ,« « . u t . o a .,,,, m ... hair, until her head was as wtiite as that of an ancient militia captain wlien powd­ ered for training days. One long curl had dipped itself in the fiot W4»ter, over wliich she had been standiug in a vain eff'urt to scrub the stains from hi was straightened out like a candle, and .I..:....:.... _ : .i . .— ..... her back. in w I iic I j to prepare that iinportunt meal, disposition, she poured a few spoi Slio would dress before doiug Muytiting . burning fluid on the coni, and thei about the kitchen, she tliouglit; she had ' ed a lighted lueifer to it. The efi rose in its own sweet buds and foliage in her bosom, it.must be confessed that little Nellie looked pretty enough to challenge anybody's admiration. “ Let me see,” quoth she, meditating; “ what ahall I liavo for d inner! Horaise ia fond of broiled steak; I ’ve heard him wesfet, and the fire ^proved ^ a mere “ fiash in the pan.” “ Never mind,” said Nellie, in a consol* atory tone ; “ 1 guess it will kiudla; there •eemi to be a small biaae underneath.” The potatoes were next brought, and having carefully peeled them, she placed them in a kettle with some water, and put she cut the them over the store, steak—and and the e;xtraordinary Then insive criuo IB lu u u VI u i u ii e u BieaK ; i. vo n e a r u miui 1 lin e in m e n u o a e u i m e ><«eiyard s w h ic h aay to. And imddm|i|||rea,iberf rniMtlt 1 m idepended from the w«U. Itiraa Along nd her finger at the same time; i gyration which she made under the iufiueuoe of the pain up­ set the floor bucket into the slop pail, aud entangled her somewhat expar ’ ------ \ - line in the hooks of the steely olollis, and it jg, dripping with water, down To finish the tout ensemble, a streak of smut extended 'from her right cheek, and, at sight of the ridiculous figure she made, poor Nellie-burst into tears. This only made matters worse; but Horace, like a true hero, kissed the tears away, toot and all, transterring by far the laiger portion of the latter substance to bis own face.—^ Then he took off his coat, turned up his sleeves, and announced himself ready to assist about the dinner. In this respect Horace was a jewel, and his wife blessed him for the generous heart which prompt­ ed his ready sympathy. But his ability as a cook was in no wise equal to his will. He turned the steak, and lost half of it in the fire ihrough the bars of the gridiron ; “ set” the table with tho cloth wrong side up, the knives in the spoonholder, the but ter in the preserve bowl; and mistook the pudding dish for the meat piet^. The potatoes were fished out of the pot —boiled to a complete mnsli; not one particle was left upon another; aud Hor­ ace, to his wife’s dismay, insisted upon straining the potatoes and water through the dish'clolb, in the hope of saving the remains. At last they sat down to dinner—bak­ er’s breadf, suspicious looking meat, butter, and a pie from the coufeclioner’i. The pudding was to answer for desert. “ Is there tea or coffee, dearest t” asked Horace, looking dubiously over the table, “ Goodness, if I didn’t forget it 1” cried Nellie, springing up with such force as to upMl tb« «Mtor, ftndtipd tintgar tha Chase, a widoVved sister of her father, wlio resided in a country towusomo tweti ty miles away. Aunt Martha was a lady more colehrat ed for the excellence of hor pies and pre serves than for the number of hor fluun- and under her tutilage Nellie became, me, what every woman should be, without regard to her station — a good housekeeper. And when at the close of three months she went back to her own house, there were no more salt puddings or burned steaks. Little lady, think well before hnnd, if the adoration of your accepted lover will live’after marriage, if fed upon bad bread and black coffee. S a d M e e t i n g o f a F a t iik r a n d D a u g h t e r . —For some time past a house of ill-repute has annoyed the citizens of a village on the line of the Cleveland and Columbus Railroad, and it was determined that the house should be broken up. On Thursday night the maisbal of the village made a descent upon the house, took the inmates into custody, and Friday morning they were taken before a magistrate for examination. There wore three girls amoDg the prisoners, and as the eye of tho magistrate fell upon one of them, he grow deathly pale and hastily adjourned the court. Among those wretched and aban- duued girls he recognized the once fair features of his own daughter. Several years before, while attending a female sem­ inary in an eastern slate, she had elopei' with a worthless fellow, and her father Imi ne^ev hoard of her or seen her until that terrible morning. Deserted by her bus band, she adopted a life of shame, and found her way to the West. Her father, unknown to her, moved nl'^o to the West and settled iu ike village above alliuWd lo, — Ck^akwl PhindtaUr, B edbugs a P lea for N on P ayment op R e n t —A novel ca«e was tried last week in Brooklyn. An action was brought against au old lady, eigiify-six years of age, for two quarteis rent of a hou.se. The defendant admitted having taken the house for one year, but says she had to move out of the house again in ten days after she took iio.xsei-.rion of it, because tlie place was tuilenanlable from the hosts of bed­ bugs with which it was infested, but which were not vi.sib'e when she hired the house. She said “ they got into and upon the food of defendants family, and on the per­ sons of the family and visitors, and ate and bit their jiersons so tliat it was inipos- sible to sle e p or eat ; that said bugs were a nuisance, and rendered tiie said house u n in h a ln 'tnb le, unhealthy and unsafe;” and that \ plaiulift' having known that the h o u s e was in fe s t e d and b e le a g u e r e d and rendered unsate by this bloodthirsty le g io n , let th e p r e m ises to d e f e n d a n t with fraudulent intent to do her injury,” &c., and tliat “ by hor defensive struggles with the aggressive hordes she encountered, and tile cost of retiring before the conquer­ ing forces to other quarters, she sustained damages to the amount of §18-3 S3. which she would throw in as an off’set to the p l a in t if f ’s d e m a n d .” H e r p l e a , h o w e v e r , was not considered a valid one in law, and she was compelled to pay the rent due, amounting to 8183 33, Since the law will not afford protection in this matter, the ladies have tio resource left but to beep a sharp lookout for the vermin, and to shun the houses infested by them.—AT. J'’. jE’ce. Post. A C l e r i c a l I m p o s t e r —A person call­ ing him.'ielf Thomas J. Turney, assuming to be a member of the Catholic ju-ieslhood, has been detected in Ht. Louis, Mo., and arre.sled a.s an impostor and .swindler.— Pretending to bo a monk from Ireland, he succeeded in raising large sums for the os­ tensible purpose of building a monastery in that country. Ue was provided with a great number of rec.omrnend.-itory letters from various Catliolic dignitaiies, all of which appear to have been written with­ out the cousent or knowie<]ge of the gen­ tlemen whose names were atlacheii to them. Oil his appearance in St. Louis he had tho boldiie.Hs to make his business known to Aichbi^'liiip Kciirick, whose |iiiclc eye at once ileo-.qi-il tli'* liaudiileiit cliuraclei’ of his vi'itoi ’.s prcteiiHi s, and tlujiefiiri*, Vfiy iiiu.<qniv.<..iilly ri*(’ii«‘-d to rccogiii.se him, yet Im bail the hardihood collect uiilioirt this .saiictioii. The police were linally I'uiled upon to arrest iiim. Wlieu taken to the .slaliou an in- ventoiy was taken of his peisonal eff’ects, revealing that he had about him no !e.«s llinn 81,(314, sewed up in bag-'i, of gold, lie h.'i.s also jiaj'ens jHirpiUting to show that he had forwarded 83 700 to Ireland. Tsvo resident jmrisli priests were sent for, who had no difficulty iu determ ining that the professed monk was a quack aud a cheat. He is now in safe liand-s, and will be given an ojipoi tiuiity to make good hi# claims to the ])iieslbood. The Toronto CoIoni.U, s]ieaking of the exjiected arnival upon Canadian soil of a Piince Royaly says ; Among other modes of cek'braling tho expected virit of hi.s Ruyni Higlihcss the Prince of Wale-j, we ventured to urge Noino weeks ago, llie propriety ol lioliJing a grand exhibition of ranadi.'iu mimufac- liiies and raw materials, at Moidreal, on tho occasion of the (tpening of the Victo­ ria Bridge. Since lluii we are glad to lenni that ac.iive stejis tmve been taken to promote the Hccom|ilislimcnt of this great ile.sign. The Guveriiuient, it is under­ stood, have agreed to jiropo.so a grant of To,000 in the estimate.s toward this object, and mea.suies have been taken l>y the Board of Arts and Manufactures for Low- Cauadii to obtain the co operation of other similar boillis. We may «dd that two gentlemen connected with that Board were in Toronto a tew dny.s ago, to airange the preliminaries of a conference between the Boards of Uj)fier Canada and Lower Canada; and we believe theie is no doubt that any propositions w hich may he-mad® to the Up[ier Canadian Board will bo fa­ vorably entertained.” The Prince will leave England for Can­ ada at the latter end of May or the be­ ginning of June. Instructions will be sent out to the authorities lo make the nccea- lary arrangemeuts. The names of the luite that will attend the young Prince, aud the details of his visit, have not yet been settled, though it is said that tho Re­ nown, ninety-one gun vessel, has been fixed upon for conveying him to America. ***-*-.v^-i' TOO A\/ k • t* ir , « late number of the Sturgis (Mich.) Jiepub- lican informs us thatt a p!“\“ ^'ff .>YiiHnrdi.xliaordi- a piece o e good luck has fallen to the lot of . ^ Tbit moderate cir- Mrs. E. B. Day, of that village, lady has heretofore been in modeih.o v..- cumstances, yet she has—-so thostoiy goes —inherited, ns an heirpf tiie late Sir Fran­ cis Driiko, the enormous amount of/orty- cight millions of dollars. Not tlie least fortunate ciicuiUHtance in ti|> ense is that the lady ia a widow. Who bids first ? £3Sr Every desire bears its death in ita very gratification. Curiosity languishes under repeated Btimulauls, and noveltiea cease to excite surprise, until at lengilt w« cannot even wonder at a miracle.— Wash> ington Irving. A Yankee editor says ;—1‘ W« tho deaths of peo- for our trovible— though that is not fair; but panegyrics on tite dead must bn paid for—we pusUiv^vf oapnot lend people \9 ^ don’t mind recording pie without being paic though that is not fair

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