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FAYETTEYIUE, N. Y., THURS9AY, OCTOBER 4, 1866 NO. 14. 1 8 PUBLISHED EVER Y THURSDAT , I N FAYETTEVILLE, N . Y F. A. DABLINO, Proprietor. omix BEAED BLOCK, OVER GAGE AND LINES' STORE $1.50 per annum, invariably in Advance TERMS O F ADVERTISING: 1 w . 8 w 3 m . 6 in. 1 square. 75 | 1 60 | 8~0O f~ 4 50 | 1 J 7 75 2 squares 1 5(1 | 2 25 [ 4 50 | (1 On | ]? mi 1-4 co l 2 26 | 3 60 J 6 lid | y no | ]H _ U 7 I 1-2 col • 3 75 | 6~<I0 j 11 25 | 18 an | .tip mi 1 col 6 Hi) | 9 (II ) | 17 25 | »< > IH > | \i\ IHI Twelv e lines o r less of brevier matter POETRY. Saturday Night. The week i s past; it s lates t ray Is vanishe d wit h tb o closing da y , And 'ti s a s fa r beyond ou r gras p Its quick departin g hour s t o clasp , A * t o recall tha t momont brigh t When first creation sprang t o light The week v past. and ha s it brought Some beams ot sweet an d soothing thought t And ha s i t left some memor y dear O f heavenly rapture s tasted here . Some fleeting jo y escaped fiora pain, Although i t ne'er return again } And who woul d si]>h for its return ? Vi'e nr o but pilgrims born to mour n , And moments as they onward flow Cu t short the. thread of huma n woe . An d brin g u s neare r to th e sceues N\ her o sorro w end s an d heaven begins . IWISt ELLWKOIS. SCOTCH MEN AND SCOTCH MUSIC. make a square . £35\ Legal advertisements inserte d a t th e rates proscribe d b y law J35~ Busines s Cards, i n Card <?olumn, not' A centlemu n wh o wa s n first rat e performer exceeding five lines , 84 pe r year 1 of Scotc h rnti -ie upon th e violin spent a win IgT Busines s Notice s will b o inserte d in tlnr+*** »*-K*&t«*r, an d of oourse simn be-nin e ae Reading Column s at the rat e o f Twcntv five i 0 .\'\\ ,m1 »ilhthe musical di'lettunti ol il.at Cents for the first line , and Fiv e Cent s for l' l,i0e - I'mmg on e day with a professor, tlio every subsequen t line , endi insertion . convention turned upo n Scotch music, an.) a . . , , . • . . , ... stron g argument arose a s t o it s bearin g coin t3w^ Yearl y Advertisers have th o privileg e , . . _ . u r i « TI ^ . 1 , • . i rr , i , ,' , b petitio n wit h foreign music. Th o heotelimnn, o 1 changing qunrterly There will bo n o de-, r . in. . A . , , i . , . P B l . . . •', . ,i who m »'« shall a t present denmmito th e rid - ration from advertise d rates , unless a spee.al , d , ln81s , ( , () (h *„,„.„ , , , „„ . contract is made . thm£ cuM e%eA |t , mt » lh(j v / u f' eltmr 1D , 15l J5£~ Advertisements no t accompanie d with 1 C J tha t it wa s only fit for tb e barnyard direction s will b o inserte d unti l forbid an d | •• I tell \ou what.\ said th e Fiddler, •• I'll lav charged accordingl y BtSIXESS CARDS. REV EN U i JTHOU S E, By JJ. C. Cross. Corner of Genesee and Nort h Mill St Also , GBOCKBY STORE, corner of Genese e and Mill streets , PAYETTKVILLE. N Y L. C. GARDNER. ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW. Notary Public an d Insuranc e Agent , at Fa y etteviUe . N . Y F. H. ALLEN, Shu v1n R Saloon, BEARD HOTEL. jy5 ly FAVRTTKVII.LE , N*\ Y LIVERY. BY J . L. MATHEWS 4 SON. First door west of Sncll , Smit h cfc Co.' s store , acros s the bridge . Fayetteville , July 10, ISrtfl. Jylo ly GAGE & LINES' Whnlcsal s and retai l dealers i n DRY GOODS , • • GROCERIES, BOOTS AND SHOES. Rcady-Mude Clothing, Ac, &c. T HE Place- t o get your Boots and Shoes, ts at SNELL. SMITH <fc Co.'s. COAL ! P RICE of Stove and Egg Coal. Price of Chestnut'Coa L jyBt f B. C. 4 a $R.50 7 50 BEARD. J. & D. H. DECKER, MANUFACTURERS AND DEALERS i n al l kinds of Cabine t Furniture, Picture Frames , and Coffins. Wardrooms i n BruTE\ \Block corner of Genese e and Mill streets , opposit e Beard HoteL jyOyl At \OU wil l find the bes t quality of Fruit Jura SJSELJj SMITH <k CO.'S. SE u CttTREMAI& CO.'S SUPERIOR BOOK & PRINT PAPER, MANLIUS, N- Y. t3S~ Orders aolioited. jStf i n wage r o f £3 tha t i f a purly of Scotchme n in n be go t together, I'll mak e the m shed tears one minute sing th o next an d dunc e the third \ , \Done.\ said th e Professor, \and if your 1 music i» ospabl e of that , I will no t only pny llio £\i uith pleasure, bu t will b e convinced i tha t it is the most enlivening, pu^hetw , an d : hi ft mu-oc in th e world \ ] Tho difficulty arose a s t o getting a n oppor tunit y for a trial, liu t tin t wa s soon obviated by a thir d part y informing the m that a nuin- ' l»-r of young Seolelimen dine d annuall y at th o I Old London Hotel o n th e anniversary of Burns' ' hirlluiny This was n capital opportunity for J tin- K.ddler . fur these young men , bein g pnn I cipally ra w boned, overgrow n hcote h lads, who ' hod recentl y left tlioir ow n countr y to carry i te a i n th o neighborhood , wer e the very ones upo n whom h o was sur e t o mak e a bit . All bein g arranged, an d th e utmos t secresy bung agree d upon , th e eventlu l da y wa s an x iou«ly loyke d for A t lengt h i t came , an d th o Fiddle r an d Professor, b y an introductio n t o on e of the party , go t a n invitation t o th o din ner Thero were twelv e altogethe r sa t down, nu d a righ t merr y part y they soon becam e , for th o whiske y todd y wa s no t spare d when th e memory- o f an y of ScotiaTTbards wa s toast ed. Tbo Fiddle r wa s no t long in perceiving tha t h e ha d go t amon g the righ t musical set, an d be waite d patientl y until the y were fit for anything. At lengt h b o winked t o th o Profes sor, who at onco propose d hi s friend should favor them with a Scotch tun e on the violin. \Capital! capital! \ cried th e whol e part y Tbe violin wa s brought , an d al l wer e in breathles s anxiety . The fiddler chos o for his first tone, \ Here' s a healt h t o them that's a w a'.\ and playe d i t i n th e must solemn an d patheti c manne r \That's a waefu* tune,\ sai d a grea t raw - bone d youth t o his nex t neighbor. \ I t is that , Sand y There' s moikl e i n that tune , mon . I t remind s m e o ' an% that' s gane, Jami'-, \ a t th e same tim e heavin g a dee p sigh, an d drawing hi s band s ove r bi s lon g gaun t face, t o hid e th e tears that wer e trickling down his cheeks . The fiddler wit h hi s kee n ey e soon perceived that before b e go t throug h with th o second part of the tune ho would hav e the m all iu th e sam e mood . He therefore threw hi s whol e soul int o the instrument , playe d a t tb e tune a s b o ha d never done-befor- , an d a s the last four bar s of tb e tune died awa y like a distan t echo, ther e wa s no t a dr y chee k amon g tho compa ny Now is the time, though t th e fiddler, and withou t stoppin g a minute , struck up i n a bold and vigorou s stylo, \ Willie brewed a pec k o' maut\ Out went th e handkerchief s an d away went th e tear?. 'Chorus I \ cried tb o fiddtor, and i n a n in stant al l struc k u p \For we'r e nasfou, we'r e nay that fon, But jus t a drappi e in our e'o , Th e coc k ma y craw, th e day may daw', But ay e we'll taste th e barle y bre e \ The son g wa s ended, bu t o p struck th e fid dler in hi s best style th e reel, \Jenny dan g th o Weaver \ *• Hey, ye deevils!\ cried Sandy . \Scotland forever I\ cried ou t Jamie, an d i n a n instan t table, chairs an d glasses were sost- tere d i n al l directions, an d th e whol e part y dancing and jumping like madmen . Oat ran the affrighted Professor, (fo r he di d no t know what might com e next,) up cam e th e landlady aith he r terrified train of inmates , bu t nijno dare enter th e room, th o burrahs and thumps o n th o floor being so boisterous , an d it was onl y upo n th o entranc e of a Scotc h tra veller, who ha d jus t arrived, an d who begged the fiddler t o stop, tha t order wa s restored . It i s needles s t o sa y that th e Professor paid his bet cheerfully, an d wa s folly convince d of th e effect of Scotch musi c whe n i t i s properl y played , and that tb o landlad y too k car e tha t the fiddler neve r cam e into he r hous e again on Burns'anniversary dinner . j IRISH DROLLERY. ^ An amu«tn g stor y o f Danes Bamngton. re - j eorde r of Bristol, is relate d b y on e of th o Eog - i lish press . Having t o appear for a plaintiff in a ca-.e at Olonniell, h e le t int o the defendant i n ! unmeasured termi. The individua l inveighe d 1 agains t no t bein g prerent, onl y hear d of the I invectives . Afte r narnngton, however, ha d J go t bac k t o Dublin, th o defendant. aTipperary I man named Foley, lost no tim o in paying hi s compliments t o th e counsel . H o rodu al l da y an d uigh t and , ooverod with sleet, arrive d be fore Hnmnetnn's residenc e i n Ilnreour t street , Dublin . Throwing th o bridle o f hi s smoking hors e ovor th o ruilmg of the nroa . h e announ ced hi s arriva l by a thundering knoc k a t the door. Barrington's vale t answere d tho sum mons , an d openin g th e stree t door , bohel d th o apparitio n of th e rouiih coate d TippcraryTire outer, wit h a larg e etick under hi s arm, and th e sleet stickin g t o hit* bu.-diy whiskers . \Jf» your maule r u p I\ demanded the visitor, in n voice tha t gav e KOIUO intimatio n of th e ob ject of Ins visit • No. \ answere d the man ••The n giv e hi m my eotof'hincnts. and sa v M r Foley—lio'll know the tiuiue—will b e gla d t o seo hi m \ The vale t went u p flair s nu d tol d hi s mas ter, who WON in l>« .1, the purport of hi s visit • Then don't le t Mr Foley in for y»ur life,\ said Harrington , \ fu r i t is uo t a Jinr o nor a brnc o o f durks lie has come, to present t o pie. \ Tbe ma n wa s leaving th e roo m when araaigh wet coat pushe d b y him , whil e o t the srime time a thic k voice suid \ B y your leave, \ an d Mr Fole y entere d th o be d mom. \ You know my business , sir,\ sai d he t o Bnrringtou \ 1 hav e made a journey t o teao h yo u manners , an d it's no t my purpose t o r e turn unti l 1 hav e broke n ever y bon o in your body,\ an d u t the sam e tim o b o cut a liguro of eigh t wit h bi s slnllelah before thu cbevn l gloss. ' Yo u do not mea n t o i -ay you woul d uiu r de r me in bedf \ exatiumed barrmgton, wh o had n s much humo r a s cool courage . \ No, \ replie d th o other , \ bu t ge t up a s soon as you ca n \ • Yes, \ replie d Danes, \ tha t \ou might fell me tbe moment 1 pu t mysel f out of !>»)d \ \ No, \ replie d th o other , \ I pledg e you joy Word no t to touch yo u till you ar o out of bod. \ \ Yo u won' t t\ \ No.\ \ L'pon your hono r ?\ •' I po n my houo r \ \That is enough/ 1 said Danes, turning ovo r an d making himself comfortable , a s though h e meant t o fall asleep . \ I have th o honor of a n Iris h gentleman, an d may res t a s safe a s thoug h I were under the casllo guard.\ Tho Tipperary salamander looke d marvel - onsly astonishe d a t the pretended sleeper , but soon Dane s bega n t o snore . » Hallo!\ said Foley , \ aren't yo u goin g to ge t up I \ • No,\ said Danes . \ I havo the word of a n Irish gentleman tha t h e will no t Btrike mo i n bed , an d I am sur e I a m not goin g to get u p t o have my bones broken . I will nevor ge t up again . I n the meantime, M r Foley , if you shoul d want your breakfast, ring the bell. the bes t in the hous e is a t your service The morn in g paper wil l b e here presently , but b e sur e an d ai r i t before reading , a s there is nothin g from whic h n ma n catche s col d s o quickly a s a damp journal,\ an d then Danes affected t o g o t o sleep . The Tip ha d fun i n him n s wel l a s ferocity , h o coul d not resist the cunning of the counsel. \ Oet up , M r Bnrnngton, fo r i n be d o r ou t of bed . I have noi the pluck t o hart s o drol l a heart.\ ' The result wa s tha t in less than n n honr af terwords. I)ane 9 and hi s intende d assailan t were sitting down lo a warm breakfast , the latte r onl y inten t upo n assaultin g a dish of smoking chops . . _ Vmc of (So\ APra* In WuUUng. Tho first timo you are walking with your arms at liberty , sto p moving them, and hol d them by your sides. Yo u will be surprised t o find bow soo n your companion will leave yo u behind , although yo u may hurry, twist , wrig gle, s,nd try ver y har d t o keep up . One rea son of the slo w wa) k among girl s is to be found in thi s practice o f carrying the arms motion less. Three mile s n n hou r with th o arms still is as hard work as four wit h the arms free. 1 have seen the queers of the stage} walk . I havo seon a fe w girl s and wome n o f queenly bear in g walk i n the stree t an d drawing-room They moved thei r arms i n a free and gracefu l man Der. Coul d thu habit becom e universal among girls, their cheeks woul d enlarge, and thei r bearing greatly improved . See that gir l walk in g with both hands in her muff I How sh e wnggles and twists her shoulders! Thi s i s became her arms are pinioned . Give the m free swing , an d be r gsi t would soo n becom e more graceful . Yo u hav e see n pictures o f ou r muscles . Those o f the upper pftrt of the body , you remember, sprea d out fro m the shoulder s in al l directions , liko i fan. Now, if yon hol d the shoulders still, th e muscles o f tbe chest wil l shrink, tbe shoulder s stoop, and tbe whol e ches t become thi n an d ugjy . But som e girls wil l say, \ swingin g the arms must be ver y slight exercise. \ True, i t i s very sligh t if you swing tbe arms but olee or ten times, but if you swing them ten thousan d times In a day , you will obtain more exercise o f tbo muscle s of the chest than by dl other ordinary move ments o f the chest combined . Indeed, i f ask e d what nxercis o I thiugbt most effective for developing the oliesl o f girls , I shoul d repl y at once, swinging the arms while walking- I Making and Pronerviiic Cldor. - Cide r is ver y much improvo d by filtering. Thi s should b e don o when th e first fermenta tion i s over , by rackin g i t off into clea n bar rel?. A good plan-for a filter i s the following : Take a square o r roond wooda n box , made o f ' inc h pine plank , three fast i n diameter, an d on e foot four inches deep . Make it with a j botto m perforate d wit h numorou s one quarter inch ni'ger holes, ovor which .should b o laid i conrso hemp bagging . Now fill i n tho bo x for j eigh t inchos wit h pieces of charcoal—animal | charooa l is th e be»t—abou t nu t size, an d o n the I to p of this place a four inch lave r o f cleanl y I washe d sand , an d covo r al l with coars e hemp I bagging , an d yo u hav o a ohca p mi d goo d filter. When a barre l o f cide r is tapper), i t grows har d , tha t is, more and mor e acid, unti l i t i»«»ts to n har d t o drink , if i t Is kep t to o lon g o n tap. Thi s is occasioned by.th u air . which fills the cas k abov e th u cide r a s soon a s i t i s drawn out Tho nir QJUIIIO I h e excluded , eve n if th o cask wcr o air-tight, becaus o th e cide r will not 1 | ru n from th e tap if ther e Is n o ai r t o pres s It' fift, '- or ,,xth J\!\ r ' ! out. If th o cider is exposed lung t o air , i t wil l i become, vinega r In fact, th e way t o make ! vinega r of cide r is t o expos e it t o tho ai r u s i much ns pnssiblo T o prevent the cide r o n tap I from beouimn g acid, i t is rcoommended, a s | soon a s on e o r two gallon s nr o drawn out , t o pou r into th e hung hol e abou t a half pin t of clear sporni oil, o r swee t oil if i t i s preferre d It should b o warm when poure d fli. ami i t will sprea d in a thin coa t ove r th e Burfaco, and knep spreadin g a s th o cider is drawn out , an d thus excludo th e air , withou t givin g any tnsto of oil to th o cider This pla n of proserviu g eider is worth y of furthe r attention. V\ o hav o faith in i t from knowing that oil- ask s ar o th o best w o know of lo r storin g cider, imparting no flavor, an d keepin g i t soun d n s bottlo d oi- de r for yonrs. Sporin-oil cask s ar e mur e valu able for cidor cask s than an y otho r purpose . OCTOBER i s the proper month for makiug onio n piokles . Tho onion s shoul d b o whlt « and found , and non a used large r tha n a hick ory nut . If th u root s nod stem s ar o cut off with a sharp knifo, an d th o onion s the n cover e d with boilin g water , nn d allowed t o stan d for sujn e time and drained , the operatio n of peeling may be performed without affecting the ejes. Alter peeling, throw the m tu t • hot sal t and water , and allow- them t o stan d fur one week in a cool place . Afterwards ' strai n well an d pou r ovo r tlieui th o best vinega r t o de got, wel l spice d with poppers , mac u and luustarj Seed. \V he n white vinega r ca n be had, th u pickl o is much handsomer in appearance . A Canine Anecdote The following incident wa s a mos t amusing on e A gentlema n i n New Haven reoentl y erecle d on Chapel street , nea r th o colleges, a Inrgo an d beautiful residence, an d adorne d th o groifnd* with mor e tha n ordinar y tnslcaud vx- peuso, Among otho r ornaments , no t far from tljo street , h e plaood a fine cast-iron etatu o o f a dog , whos e dohherato appoaranc o an d defi- an t attitud o mad e hi m look as larg e a s life nnd twieo a s ugly Fo r week s aftorwards , th o \ lil- tle*dogs an d alt,\ On passin g by tb e house , nl way s gav e the statu e a complimentary bark and growl , which , however , nove r disturbe d its equanimit y lin t one da y a bi g ol d Towse r from the countr y wa s following hi s master' s wago n int o town, an d happened t o sp y th e hostilo form of the ca*t-iron foe, A pielimina- r y grow l nn d bowwow produce d u o effect— surl y an d defiant bi s enem y continued t o gazo at hi m Canin e natur o could stan d i t no longer . On e leap over th o fence brough t hi m int o the yard , and carried hi m t o hi s muto antagonist Quicke r tha n though t b e attempted t o faston bis teet h on the cast-iron obnp s o f tho statuo , bu t the nex t momon t gav e up th o contest Thu last tha t wa s seen of tnn t dog , h e wa s sneakin g out of th e yard wit h hi s tall betwee n bi s legs, th o most completel y sold specime n of canin e socioty w e eve r witnessed. AppICH as an Artlclo of Diet. A n exchango , i n alludin g t o tho us o o f tho appl e OB a n article of diet, says: Lot ever y housekeepe r la y in a good supply o f applos, TURKEYS.—Ono reaso n why th e turkeys seen in our poultry yards d o not vi e i n splendor of plumnge wit h tiiuir wilde r brethren , is that w e do no t le t them live long enoug h Fo r th o Maine cnua o w e seldom witnes s th o thoroug h develop , inent of thei r temper and disposition*. A erea tur o that doe s not nttam it s full growt h till it s fifth or sixt h year, w e kill a t least i n th e ee cond , t o th e ov idou t deterioratio n of ou r btoek Hut le t three cr four wel l solocted turkeys bo retained t o their really, adult state, and lliuy will quil o recompense their keepe r by thei r beaut y ut lull pWiiuagc, by thei r gleamin g hue s of glide d green and purple , thei r lovel y shade s of In-own bronze- uo d black , an d the pearly lustre, radiating tro m thei r polished feathers. A PiiiLosopuii u . 1' M.I —It is announced nsa curiou s eircumstanee connecte d with th o great fire at Portland, that the magnitude o f th o conflagratio n servo d t o som e extou t t o oheo k tho progress o f tlo- flames. Tho irreat Volume, of heated ni r rising cause d th o cold ai r t o rus h in wit h much force t o fill the immons e vaautim , and o n th o northern side of th o <utv it ha d th u effect of a contrary wiud nod blew th e flames back . Bu t i t is always th u case with larg e tires, whic h havo thu s a naturul tendenc y l o limi t themselves . Tunnouai i CULTIVATION —I f ou r farmer s who ar o oppose d t o soience, shoul d g o t o Europe, that woul d cure them . Scientific- principle s nro thero applied , an d the best cultivatio n given . Wor e this no t done th o reople o f Ger many could not, support themselves . Instead of on o roan making a living o u a hundre d acres , as liere , h o makes i t on on e acre i n boxony. Think o f eac h acre supportin g u ma n in ibi s oountry . And yet ther o nr o some plneas whore , it i s done , wborc lan d is thoroughl y cultivated , as the y do i t i n Europe . Fa ret to-2 I t i s the duty o f uae h graduate of tho'Mount Holynko (Moss.) Femal e Seminary t o write a n annual lotter , stating whether sh e is mnrriod o r singlo , how many\ children-she ha»i and othe r particulars concernin g he r statu s and progress . A young lady of th o class of '01 has just writto n to the class secrotnry that she is no t married, but that sho thinks sh e ca n se o a littl e clou d that riseth out of th o sk y of tho futuro , liko a man's hand . A d English gontloman, speakin g in prni«o of the fine coho o f Killarney . which repents th o sound fort y times, Pat promptl y replio d \ Faith , sir , that's nothin g at al l t o tho fine echo i n my father' s garden i n Galway , fo r if you Bay t b it , 'How do yoli do. Paddy Blak e I' it wil l immediately make answer , \ Pretty well, I thank you, sir.' \ A Daeotah chap thinks b o ha s found Para dise. Hear him* \No incom e tax; no infer- nn d it will b o tb e most economica l investment I n nl rovonoo, no spies t o se o if yo u treat a in th o whol e rango of oulinaric a A raw , mc l :Cpiend o n Sunday , no special police , no pol l lo w apple is digested in an hour and a half, 1 tax . school tax or bount y fund. Ami , to en d whils t boiled cnbbago require s fivo hours. Th o | with , the-Indians an d half-breeds enn't tell on o most health y desserwiia t ca n b e placed o n tb e j greenbac k from another , s o our ones ar e tens.\ table-it- a baked apple . If eate n frequentl y a t \Dear me. how fiuidly h o talksPsaid Mrs . breakfast, wit h coars e brea d an d buttor , with- 1 p or ti n g ton recently in a tempeiane o meeting. ou t mea t o r flesh of any kind , i t has a n adm i rabl o effect o n th o genet a! system , often r e moving constipation, correctin g acidities , and cooling off febrile conditions, mor e effectually tha n the most approve d medicines . I f fami lies could be induced t o substitute apples , rip e and sound, fur pies, cak e an d sweetmeats, with whic h thei r children ar e to o frequentl y stuff ed, ther e would b e a diminutio n i n the su m total o f doctors' bills, i n a singl o yoar, suffi cient t o lay i n a stook of thi s delicious fruit for tb e wbol o season's use . I f an y on o feels that his system is ou t of order, a s a genora l rul o le t him resor t t o good rip e apples, rather than pills o r othe r medicaments . Lost Stars. Not long since a sta r of a ver y smal l mogn i tnd e suddenl y showe d a great increas e o f bril liancy, retaine d thi s brightnes s for a while nni the n disappeare d from th e heavens . Such i phenomenon lead s to a very curiou s train of thought Tb e work s of Omnipotence , o r if It be preferred, th o processes of nature, aro ust- all y slo w an d progressive , wo know that eve i countless age s hav e been occupied in the crea tion o f the world t o it s presen t state , and w i justl y thin k tha t th o progress of decay wil l bi as lon g and a s gradual But a pheaomedot like the burstin g forth of thi s sta r annihilate ! the notio n tha t nature's grea t work s are slowl ' performed . Withi n th e spac e of a fe w hourv ay, almos t instantaneously, thi s star , this di- tant sun , kindles t o a hea t compared to whi m its normal hea t must hav e bee n insignificant! and if the \star condemned\ was the centre .... , su n is but a little JStar i n th o immensity of ti e universe . Indestructibl e an '3 imperishabl e is the sola r syste m seems t o u s t o be , a fe w liou-s might (by infe'rinco from the cas e befor e ul) suffice fo r it s annihilation. I am always rejoiced when h o mount s tbe nostril , for hi s eloqueuc e warms every oort - ridge o f my body'\ \ Which i s tho bes t shop t o ge t a fvldlo at!\ aske d a pupi l o f Tom Cooke , th o musiaian . \ An apothecary's shop, \ nosworod the wag , \becaila o if yon buy a drug thero , the y always giv e you a vial i n \ A correspondent write s that , if w o desir e it . h e will \send u s something t o fill up with.\ That' s jast what we want Suppos e h e com mences uow with a goo d roastin g piece o f bee f nnd a barre l o f flour. A young man advertise d for a wife, and re ceive d eighteen hundred answers from- hus bands sayin g ho coul d hav e theirs . Thi s show s tbe value o f advertising. An ol d offende r was recently introduce d to a new country Justice n> John Simmons , alias Jones, alia* Smith. '< I'll try th e two women first,\ sai d the Justice, \ bring i n Alic e Jones. \ A Yankee preacher, discoursin g abou t Dan- icl in th o lion's den, said \ And there b e sat all night long , looking at the show for ootbiog , and i t di d not cos t Him a cent\ There i s a negro i n Philadelphi a whos e fee t meosur o twenty-nine inches. I t is suggeste d they shoul d be secured for a part y platform . Fenian sisterhoods , say s a writer , are much nice r things than brotbo'i hood*, an d fa r belte r armed fo r oobqaeat Why i s the suspensio n o f th o habea s corpus act i n Ireland -beneficial t o tho Fenian s 1 Be cause i t quickens their apprehension , of Yiystem of worlds, thei r destruction mat I .-Wante d by 8 confectioner— a o.indid yonng have bee n th e wor k of a moment. And °<f\womvi?i< . T-> Wbat to do . wttH the national debt—Je t i t a loan. .' y> Unpopular soldiers—Privat e Pique and Co r poral Punishment.
