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Image provided by: Onondaga Community College
Page 14 The Other Paper By Curt Carpenter & Bert Simpkins Once upon a time there were a bunch of evil thingies (2nd cousins to the OCC-ness monster) who were sitting around somewhere in the Syracuse Sewer System watching \How the Grinch Stole Christmas\ on their 19-inch black and white portable. After the main premise of the program was presented, the head thingee, (Ralph by name), jumped to his fat little feet and announced \Hurrah! I have an idea!” The other thingies all knew this however, because of the lightbulb over his head. \Why don't we steal Christmas?\ The other thingies responded wholeheartedly with a chorus of “ Yeah mans\ and “ That sounds cool,\ “ Far Outs,\ \You must be out of your minds.” “ But who shall we get to perform this dastardly deed?\ an insignificant little thingie piped out (with a real sewer pipe yet). After subsequent discussion, it was decided that Clyde, the big black half-breed (half sewer rat, half thingie) would go because he was the biggest jerk da world and the thingies had there. When he was through he pushed his sack of loot back to the sewer where he was greeted with hearty cheers of indif ference and a Yoo-Hoo chocolate beverage. The head thingie was very pleased with Clyde and was about to award him the Royal Award of Mediocracy (for service above and beyond the call of nothing) when the white Clyde was given his instructions and then was gracefully kicked out of the sewer on his butt. knight of courage, fortitude and Ajax detergent came galloping up on his white charger (or was it a Catalina?) Slinking along the alleyways, Clyde went from house to house ripping off everything he could find. and promptly punctured the head thingie. This deflated the thingie’s ego somewhat as well as the thingie. He still didn't know just why he was doing this dastardly deed, but he was confident that whatever he was doing must be important for some reason or another (this he hadn’t quite figured out yet, mainly because he was about as sharp as a bowling ball). Clyde was then promptly chased to the nearest prison where to this day he sits still not knowing why the hell he had to get all of those Christmas presents since he was Jewish. And so they all lived boringly ever after. 'The End\