{ title: 'The Spectrum (Buffalo, N.Y.) 1955-current, September 10, 1979, Page 13, Image 13', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/np00130006/1979-09-10/ed-1/seq-13/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/np00130006/1979-09-10/ed-1/seq-13.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/np00130006/1979-09-10/ed-1/seq-13/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/np00130006/1979-09-10/ed-1/seq-13/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
Image provided by: University at Buffalo
You wouldn't believe how much unkown editor. Needless to say, 1 have heard this bine, or maybe tins is not the best way to round you would since you’ve probaly up new talent. You have no idea used it a number of times. how many times we’ve looked you insidious stereotype doesn't / fit. Whoever heard of a Jew named Smith-Corona anyways? * I guess this whole clique ? business depends on how you go about defining the word. If you § mean a close knit coterie of | uncommonly talented people who work hard at what they do | and enjoy an occasional orgy. $ then yes, we are a clique. 3 However if you mean an g assemblage of egotistical, g exclusive assholes, who make | strangers feel about as welcome Z. as Anita Bryant at a gay bar. then no, that is not us. It really isn’t. Former editor shoots up the name “Woodstein” hoping that just maybe . . . If you’ll allow me to get serious here for a moment —I would, but since I can’t (I’m a little too wasted for that). I’ll tell you that this paper, prolific as it is, could be so much more prolifiker with the addition of a few more eager beavers, not to mention a couple more enthusiatic new writers. We may joke about Woodward and his pal, yet there really are serious investigations that could be undertaken with sufficient manpower. Like uncovering the far-reaching conspiracy which is hampering our efforts at recruiting new staff. No really there is dirt out there just waiting to be uncovered, and I assure you our supply department has no shortage of stainless steel muckrakes. And we could also use people to write about sports, the arts, music, features, news and snap some shots. Why,\ didn’t your grandmother ever tell you, “There’s no such thing as can’t.”? Neither did mine, but if your smart enough _ or deranged to be admitted to this institution, then you should have the intellectual facilities to be of some miniscule use to us. And besides, how do you know until you try? Now don’t answer with, “How do I know what it’s like to jump over Niagara Falls until I try,” because I invented that one and besides everyone knows that you can’t learn a new dog old tricks. Look, if you really can’t write, we’ll let you know in a number of slick, subtle, tactful ways. Using your story to light a joint for example. I’m sure they have enough writers. them all down, seduces with The Spectrum ’ charm Sit down, grab a cup of coffee and prepare yourself for being seduced into writing for The Spectrum. Okay, now apologize to the person next to you for staining his corduroys with hot coffee and, jn between The following is a brief rundown of the world’s top excuses for not joining The Spectrum. Plese read them all and pay particular attention to your favorite. I don’t have enough lime to write for The Spectrum. This, of course is a world renown excuse, handed down through the semesters from generation to generation. There is a famous quote that goes something like “Time whose tooth gnaws away at everything else is powerless against the truth.” There is another famous quote that goes, “Man has no nobler function that to defend the truth.” The Spectrum is obsessed with the truth. We sometimes even get around to writing about it, so if those last two passages left you breathless. I’m sure you know what 1 mean when I say, “Time waits for no man.” wheezes and gags, read carefully. The earth may never be the same. Me? Write for The Spectrum? I can’t even write. This is a very popular excuse. A very common excuse, but not esily defended. If this one were true, why would I waste this paper trying to recruit people we didn’t need? We would much rather use this space for advertisements and rake in more bucks. The Spectrum is one big cliche. A rather vicious excuse, usually uttered with a loathsome voice and a scornful eye. You really think this one bugs us, don’t you? C’mon I know this rap, even the typewriters arc New York Jews. Well let me tell you a thing or two, a number of our machines are atheists and one or two have married electric Catholics, so The truth is that desperate editors have been known to call people at random out of the student directory demanding to know why their stories aren’t in by the deadline. The unassuming student is not fooled by this, although some will apologize profusely to the Hey, do you think 1 have enough time to convince someone who doen’t have the imagination or wherewithal! to dream up something better than, “1 don’t have the time.” I’m sure you can squeeze in a —continued on page 22—
