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dayfridayfiidayfridayfridayfridayfridayfridayfri I *51 U ONTH I 8 by Joel Dinerstein “And does up Frank Perdue,” Deuce concluded. “Down and dirty,” Leo called as he dealt out the On my way home last night, I spotted a large khaki tent pitched next to a modest green house over on Silver Spring Road. The tent was illuminated by lantern, and a quintet of voices filled the night somewhat unmusically. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. “ • • a red eight for Chootch, a jake for Jim-Bob, a lowly deuce for the Lady, a lucky lady for Deuce, and the dealer gets a nondescript four,” narrated Mr. Leo. “Bet one,” Deuce led. Everyone called. “A three to match Chootch’s eight, possible straight, a step up to the royalty for our token female, no help for you, and more drek for the dealer.” seventh card. .**■•• .with only fifty cents. The lady frowns and bitches some more and sends him to room 16, one flight up, where some old men are watching this guy and this hooker go at it. Bet two. So he say s ...” \See your two, raise it two,” said the Lady. “So he says...” “I’ll sec his two, your two and I got two of my own to raise,” declared Leo. “I hope so,” said Jim-Bob. “So he says...” “Wouldya finish the joke already, you withered grape you,” yelled Deuce. “I forgot the punchline,” muttered Chootch as if he had just wet his pants. “Figures,” said Jim-Bob. “Life is one big punchline,” offered the dealer cynically. Hunt responds To the Editor: The Spectrum has lost its perspective. In a recent article your reporter attributes all resistance to changing the rock wool ceiling (in Baird Hall) to this writer. Please resurrect your initial articles. You will find this office asked, in 1977, that the ceiling be replaced because age had taken its toll. We also stated, and later had confirmed by outside authority, there was no health hazard as defined -by scientific or legislature authority. Contrary to NYPIRG’s continued insistence the tests were for asbestiosis, the air samples were for fiber content in the air. In the case of control samples in Abbott Parking Lot, a locked store room and Baird auditorium it was determined the outide air we breathe and the air in the rooms was the same. \Hey Chootch motioned for attention as they all called the lady’s bet, “did ya hear the one about the guy who goes to a whorehouse with .. “Chootch,” cried Jim-Bob, “for Chrissakes, we got a lady present.” “One who hasn’t heard about whorehouses?” chided Deuce. . “Besides, we’re trying to play poker,” added Jim-Bob feebly. “ .. just three bucks and he asks, the madam, ya know, what he can get for his money and she kinda frowns and bitches “Yeah,” said the Lady, “and we’re all just trying to figure out what the big joke is.” “While we’re figuring.. .Chootch, you in or NYPIRG’s inability to conceive the fallibility in purporting one fiber can cause cancer but a lung full of asbestos fibers (asbestiosis) bears no relationship is very difficult to comprehend. In spite of all the clamor the only persons who have ever demonstrated a continuity between asbestos and cancer have been workers in mills, ship fitting or production who were exposed to heavy concentration, family members exposed to high concentrations or persons living within a few hundred yards of a mill and exposed to high concentrations. The experiments on rats “proving” the fibers to be cancer producing were abnormal in that very large amounts of asbestos fibers were force-fed, force-respirated or saturated with chemicals also suspected as carcinogens. It is known that asbestos workers have only slightly higher rates of lung, intestinal and mesothelial cancers that the same cancers in the general population. If these same workers also smoke the incidence rate soars. The exposure to multiple elements has generated much discussion and new research on the synergistic effects of smoking, chemicals and inhaled particles. The recommendations from findings in this area may very well result in changes in life-style to eliminate a personal habit in order to mitigate the effects of some more dominant element. out?” “I’m out.” “Good. Serves you right for blowing that joke,” said Deuce. “I’ll see Mr. Leo, and raise two more. And you, my sweet lady who-plays-poker-with-us- be cause-sh e-hat es-to-pj ay-rummy-tiles-with-the- ladies, what say you?” “You’re bluffing,” declared the woman staring at Deuce’s queen-three-eight-six line-up. “So call me.” “I’ll see your raise, and raise two more.” “Someone’s got something here,” Leo laughed, “and it ain’t me.” “You in, Deucey?” “I’m in, lady. What d’ya got?” Not wishing to find out the outcome of the hand - since I knew the punchline - I turned for home. “Bet two,” interjected the Lady. Jim-Bob folded. “ .. .and sends him up to room 3 where there ain’t nothing but a chicken, so what does he do .. .” “He breads the bird and bakes it at 350 degrees for fifty minutes, ay Leo,” the Lady entertained. “No, no,” Chootch said shaking off the retort, “he screws the hell out of the bird.” “Jesus,” cried Jim-Bob. “Don’t bring him in,” Leo said, “this was just starting to get good.” The four called and raised on the fourth open card. “fte doesn’t have an altogether bad time,” Chootch continued unruffled, “so he comes back the next night . . .” cheap thrills by Dianne Manning and Ed Strumlauf exit and follow the Artpark signs through the village into the park. There is a nominal parking fee, but if you are cheap (and ambitious) you can park in the village and hike into the park. We are sure you will find it hard to believe that the park was a former wasterdumping ground. Robert E. Hunt Director of Environmental Health and Safety Due to previous mix-ups about past holidays, below is a comprehensive but non-inclusive listing of the official FOURTH OF JULY holiday closings. (For Mainland USA only, Alaska and Hawaii, see page 23) Federal employees will have the first Wednesday in July off this year and State employees will have the fourth day in July off. City employees will have both of the above days as an official holiday and University students and faculty can take off either of the above, but not both. As usual, the rain date for the FOURTH OF JULY will be the fifth Sunday in October. How long can you sit on a block of ice? How far can you spit a watermelon pit? How big can you blow a bubble gum bubble? You can find out all this and more at the Cheektowaga Town Park on the FOURTH OF JULY. Cheektowaga (Yes. Virginia, there really is a Cheektowaga .. .) offers a traditional approach to the FOURTH, featuring a parade, tournaments, band and folk concerts, a Miss Patriot Pageant, hayrides, and zany contests of all kinds. Quilting, craft, skydiving,'and K-9 demonstrations will also be featured. You can also count on a quality display of fireworks at dusk. Really, the schedule of events planned is overwhelming. They start at 9:30 a.m. and continue into the evening. Call 891-8011 or watch the (other) newspapers for more specific details. The park is located on Harlem Rd. and Greenleaf Lane, opposite St. Joseph’s Hospital. Take Main St. to Harlem Rd. Make a right on Harlem and follow it past Genesee; The park is located on the right. Just mention Cheap Thrills at the gate and they will let you in free. Otherwise, it is twice that amount. ■'WHAT'LL ITB6—OW> O*EVEM?\ * * • • * Various parks in the Buffalo area provide lots of cheap ways to while away your time on the FOURTH OF JULY. Artpark, a 200 acre park in Lewiston, provides a full schedule of events for the day. The park is open all day for hiking, fishing, picnicking, and fossil-hunting around the Niagara Gorge area; but starting at noon a panorama of other activities begins. A children’s theatre, craft demonstrations and classes, and performances by artists-in-residence are free and to be found scattered throughout the park. (Call Artpark (694-8191) next week for a more specific schedule.) Also scattered around the grounds are sculptures completed by artists of summers past. For you big spenders, > there is a special matinee performance of the musical Kiss Me tale at 2 p.m. with tickets priced at $3 and $4. „ater that day, starting at 7 p.m. the Rochester ’hilharmonic will perform a John Phillip Sousa oncert. Tickets for this performance are $4 and $5. ’he specially designed ampitheater is handicap ccessible and features both inside and lawn seats. If ou wear a tux and carry an empty violin case you light be able to sneak in free with the rest of the rchestra. Tickets can be' purchased through icketron or at Artpark before the performance. We re told that free theater tickets are available to the andicapped, golden agers, and limited-income ersons. If you fit into any of those groups just give elen Staley a call (278-1764 or 278-1797) for irther details. Of course, the Fourth of July would at be the same without fireworks, and Artpark has great show starting at 10 p.m. A blanket is the only servation you need for a good view of the show. Located in Lewiston, Artpark is about a 30 inute ride from the Main St. Campus. Take the oungman Expressway (Rte. 290) to the Robert oses Parkway (Rte. 190). Turn off at the Lewiston In our opinion, Bassett Park offers the best auditory treat of the day. Their FOURTH OF JULY celebration features the Buffalo Philharmonic and is the first in a series of free concerts that will be held in the park this Summer. Peter Perret will be conducting because Michael Tilson Thomas has decided to become a free lance snorter. The program will include several Sousa marches, Ive’s Variations on America and the theme from Superman: The Movie. Following an intermission will be a Stephen Foster medly and the piece de resistance, Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. A firework display will follow the performance. For those of you who cannot make this performance, the Philharmonic will be playing a similar free program on Thursday June 5 at 7 p.m. in the Eastern Hills Mall. The concert will be held in front of Hengerer’s. The park is located a relatively short distance from the Anjherst Campus. Take Maple Rd. east to Hopkins Rd. Turn left on Hopkins and when you reach Klein Rd., turn right. It is probably a good idea to arrive early. Whenever the Philharmonic plays for free, there is sure to be a crowd. ON TH i fiia Y/fiP c • fiiva y a w » -
