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^5*5 ;^''^^^^*>^f^^- f p^^iw'^^V^Sit\ ^ *» Parent's Prevents B ^^'^:I«u.BBi ! -:& p r^ ac'WfS'SgH By FATHER JOHN L. THOMAS, R. J. Sociology Professor St. Louis University Tour advice on giving sex Instructions to children shows you don't know what you're talking about! You say — follow the simple, matter-of- fact way one follows in ex- plaining cooking, eating, e.c. Really! ! ! Sex is quite dif- ferent, you know. I can demonstrate eating and cook- ing; are we parents :.o g.ve a demonstration of sex? Vcu say give them the best ex- planation you can in terms of their experience — what experience does an eight-year- old have in regard to any- thing, much less the facts of life? Why give such a fool- ish answer when people naturally expect an intelli- gent reply? , One point is clear, Bridget, j you are a woman with very i definite opinions on some i subjects. I sincerely appreci- [ ate your letter because it : backs up several observations ' I made concerning the atti- i tudes of parents tovva; d sex ' instructions, and it offe;s rne a convenient occasion to re- emphasize my original posi- tion. If I understand your criti- cism correctly, you imply that my reply was not intelligent because I did not offer a quantity of factual informa- tion and failed to give a de- tailed, play-by-play account of how this information was to be communicated to children during the various stages of their development. In this connection, I offer one general observation. .1 ASSUMED that I was dealing with normally intelli- gent modern American moth- ers possessing some degree of ingenuity and imagination. In other words, I assumed that women who had them- selves experienced puberty, courtship, marriage, and child-bearing in modern soci- ety would have acquired at least the basic facts concern- ing the processes of men- struation, sexual arousal, marital relations, and child- birth. Now let us analyze what I wrote. First I noted the need to maintain good communi- cations between mothers and daughters in this area, be- cause giving sex instructions is not a one-shot affair but a gradual process involving fre- quent repetition. I also noted that either be- cause of prev ious ' negative training or because they t,iermtV.PS had never ration- ally faced the facts of sex in tnc\r oi.ii lives, many par- ents either ignored the needs of their children or develop- ed no realistic plan for in- structing them. Granting that sex was an emotion-loaded term fo- adult\; I warned parents that in the nature of things it could not have simi- lar meaning for their young children. I then enumerated the basic points of information concerning which girls under ten usually ask, and which they should know. What are the physical dif- ferences between boys and girls 0 What is pregnancy — where- tin^s—the baby—come- from'' How dnes it get there? How is it born'' Isn't it press- ing our credulity a little far to maintain that the normal- ly intelligent mother does not have sufficient) informa- tion on these facts )to answer: satisfactorily theAijttesJtpngj raised by a ten-yepfij|d? .^ My advice that you »nswer questions relating to sex in the matter-of-fact, simple way you use when children ask sbou* other matters seems particularly to have aroused your s:orn, since you insist, \There's quite a difference, you know!\ Is there that much \difference\ for an eight- or ten-year old child? Not unless you have previ- ously surrounded questions relating to sex with a for- bidding aura of fear or sus- picion, thus projecting \your own agitation and unresolved emotions into the mind of the child. I feel the emotionaJ out- burst displayed at this point in your letter is highly re- vealing. No, Bridget, you don't have to give a demon- -stration. At this stage, chil- dren are seeking simple an- swers to some rather obvi- ous questions about the ob- jective facts of sex. They will not understand the per- sonal implications of these .facts until/after ,they reach .pvt£Fty«R$«enMQuent]y are .jn^^interea^vinfedetails, so. why react as if you are ex- § pected to fulfill- the doctor's | role at a j.e-Cana instruo § i| tion. \ ou are also scornful of my I advice to shape explanations § in terms of their experience, for you assume that children have none. Bridget, your emo- tions are showing! Surely you don t expect anyone to take you seriously on sjtois point. Girls of eight or ten have not been living in an intellectual or social vacuum. Their knowledge and ex- perience may vary widely, de- pending upon whether they have been raised on a farm or as urban cliff-dwellers, with or without sisters and brothers, among friends and classmates who discuss such matters or who do not. Per- ceptive mothers will under sfand how *o time and shape their explanations accord- ingly. To be sure, there are num- erous books and pamphlets dealing with sex instructions, available in bookstores and | libraries. I have frequently g mentioned Fr. Henry Satilers, \Parents Children and the Fac;s of Life\ (St, Anthony Guild Press and in paperback) which has a good bibliography. \What to Tell Your Children about Sex\ by The Child Study Association of A meri ca (Permabooks, N.Y.) is excellent for facts. Yet none of these books will help parents very much unless they have developed a balanced, ratioi.al view of sex in their own lives and can discuss the relevant facts without fear and agitation. 1 repeat, the crux of the par- ental problem here is not primarily lack of knowledge but refusal to face the nor- mal implications of sex in themselves and in their grow- ing children. o • COURIER-JOURNAL Friday, November 24,1961 Dutch Asked To Pray For Delhi Meet Utrecht — (RNS) — A letter was read from the pulpits of all Roman Catholic churches in Holland calling upon the faith- ful to pray for the success of the Third Assembly of the World Council of Churches now taking place at New Delhi, ~ftidi*r Working in Circles? St. Louis — (RNS) — This unique, circular chancery building housing ad- ministrative offices of the St. Louis Catholic archdiocese was dedicated here by Joseph Cardinal Ritter, Archbishop of St. Louis. Designed by IV. Sar- miento, a St. Louis architect, the two-story structure has curtain walls of aluminum and glass, with pre-cast concrete columns to support a dome- roof of concrete. The building is 100 feet in diameter and has a rotunda rising the full height of the two floors. Radiating from the rotunda are in- dividual offices, faking a little more than a year to construct, the project cost $758,000. In the background is the Byzantine-style St. Louis Cathedral and at center is the cathedral rectory, Million To Notre Dame Family Joins Missioners St. Paul — (NC) — A young| Dodge, 29, will be a member,volunteers. \We had talked It family here is busy packing for,\' the faculty of the school of over. We knew exactly what we a new home in Latin America < socia j \^J™ lt th f r Jesuit uni- , ,. . ,. iversity in Bogota. He will have where they hope to prove that> her tasks ^ such ag advJsor North Americans neighbors. are good (RNS) — A to various university groups. His 23-year-old wife will work 'They are Willard «nd j 0 -iinformally with groups interest- of $1 000,000 has been sephine Dodge, l&-month-old ! ed in nome economics. They Theresa and 3-month-old Peter > ve volunteered for three — the first St Paul archdio-|y« ar * 8 service, cesan family known to go over seas as lay mlssioners. South Bend grant awarded by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation to the University ot Notre Dame to expand and im- prove its College of Engineer- ing, it was announced jointly were going to do,\ he said. Dodge enrolled at the Uni- versity of Minnesota, Minne- apolis, and earned an M.A. in social worK Their application was / then sent to AID. It was accepted and they moved to Paterson for training. here by Alfred P. Sloan Jr., purpose is apostolic service 1 Foundation prosident, and Fath- plus professional work — he er Theodore M Hesburgh, in 50C \' al work a \ d sne in home TC.S.C. Notre Dame president, j^nomfca-^iucatton. „ ,. „ . . . ,.' The family is being sponsor- Father Hesburgh sa ld the pd fay , h e MsQcMm £ r In . university will endeavor to After the AID. courses, they The two say they knew from attended courses at the Center the time they were married 0 f Intercultural Formation in THEIR DESTINATION is thllt th «y were « oln « ,0 be ••y.Cuernavaca. Mexico, Bogota, Colombia, and their' I \It was nigged.\ Dodge laid. \Our class began with 68 stu- dents. Only 32 survived. We had classes and discussions that w«nt-xro^ttr~night-*nd—into the Memorial To RedTfictim early morning.\ \It was kind of a boot camp,\ Taipei—(RNS)—A new Cath-he said. Signed by Bernard Cardinal Alfrink, Archbishop of Utrecht, and the other members of the Dutch hierarchy, the latter also urged that evening Masses be offered in all churches and chapels \to ask God's blessing\ for the assembly and the cause of Christian unity. Written in empressively warm and sympathetic terms, the hierarchy's letter said that \Catholics too, see in this dy- namic development an impetus of God's spirit, making use of the World Council to inspire more Christians everywhere with a strong yearning for unity.\ Alluding to the theme of the Third Assembly — \Christ the Light of the % World\—they said the World Council \is seriously convinced that Christ, as the Light of the World, is ob- scured by discord In Christian witness and that the well-being of the world la affected by this discord.\ » \What happens it New Del- hi,\ the bishops continued, \can- not leave us Catholics indiffer- ent. Distress over the division of Christianity must also be felt by us as a* true distress. The objeStive of unity limed at by the Second Vatican Council is a vivid evidence of this. Pope John XXIII summons us all to a renewal of thought and life, in order that the pure shape of the Church for which the whole of Christendom Is,search- ing may become minlfest.\ Vatican Aid For UNESCO Vatican City —(NO— Pope John XXIII has again shown hia Interest in United Nation! ef- forts to preserve historic mon- uments. The Holy See has donated $10,000 to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cul- tural Organization to preaerva ternational Development of match and supplement the Paterson, N.J. AID is a Catholic olic student center constructed \The staff deliberately made grant so that a total of S2.500,- i ay group which recruits, trains outside Taipei has been named ug angry, started arguments, _ . . 000 will be available to under- and helps sponsor Catholic pro- In honor of Brooklyn-born Blah-1 challenged us, They wanted to monument* In .Egypt'* Nubian write engineering development fessional and technical spedal-'op Francis Xavler Ford. NCM.Jprepare us for opposition <*md Pe*erl which Jap*.dU»,to.b*,COy. it Notre Dame in the immedi- Mis for service Mn undcrde- i who died in a Chinese Commun- misunderstanding we wutl 1.8fered by Kb arttfJelal laki* ere- ate future. Pveloped nations, f '1st prison in 1952. (find in our work,\ he recalled, lated by the Aiwan Dam* ROCHESTER be sure to visit Sibley's wonderful world of toys... see tie delightful animated story ^TfeSmallrOne\..~visit SalStToyIanJTourtETfloorT Ml ;•;• 51 -41 \Til ., l .i,.i,.« l w. l i., i« • • >m \-•.umj*ini»j)p;iti|pij»m j{jtimw-'nyy* - VJ '. ** '•nffjg&m. i^'f'**?**—-^Tr- •>,- ,rl ,V • , . build your railrot TYCO HO BLUEBIRD WEST TRAIN SET 22.99 A precision-engineered scale model that has the 04-0 steam ^'Shifter\ gear driven loco, reefer car, box car, operating hopper, chemical car, flit car, gondola and caboose. Track includes 11 curved pieces, 1 straight, 1 retailer •nd 1 terminal track. GOLDEN POWER PACK 13.95 An essential with your HO train equipment! Hai a 2 amp output with 16 •'\•\\\\Is and 12 volt DC terminals. Pulse power switch gives added volt AC terminal realism. (NOT SHOWN): CASEY JONES STEAM SET 19.99 Get your itart in HO with this Sibley-exXTu/iive set! Big Casey Jonea engine, tanker, refrigerator car, flat car with automobilea, box car, caboota. Set includes 12 piece! of curved track, 1 rerailer and 1 terminal track. Sibley** Toys, Fourth Floor, Downtown; Irondeqnoit, Easrway, Southtown and NewiA •0P-,. -i ,fcM *S'^f A 'iSf
