{ title: 'The Times of Northport & East Northport. (Setauket, N.Y.) 2005-current, December 15, 2005, Page 11, Image 11', download_links: [ { link: 'http://www.loc.gov/rss/ndnp/ndnp.xml', label: 'application/rss+xml', meta: 'News about NYS Historic Newspapers - RSS Feed', }, { link: '/lccn/2008245210/2005-12-15/ed-1/seq-11/png/', label: 'image/png', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/2008245210/2005-12-15/ed-1/seq-11.pdf', label: 'application/pdf', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/2008245210/2005-12-15/ed-1/seq-11/ocr.xml', label: 'application/xml', meta: '', }, { link: '/lccn/2008245210/2005-12-15/ed-1/seq-11/ocr.txt', label: 'text/plain', meta: '', }, ] }
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I t The gravest responsibility one is called upon to bear is the decision over life and death for a loved one. A friend recently confided that her oldest sister, who is 80, is in a hospital and failing. Because the patient also suffers from dementia, my friend and her other sister are left to deal with the situation. The doctor is telling them their sister's health is dctcnomnng and that she i ts being kept alive through medical science. Not only does this present a terrible decision, but with holiday decorations and cheerful music surrounding us, is there a worse time of year to have to cope with such anguish? But life is oblivious to holidays. And death, after all, is a part of life. Death comes to each person differently and also to their families. My friend's great sadness reminded me of my own decision time. It was a September and my husband was in the end stages of cancer. We knew that the disease had spread throughout his body, yet it seemed to us he still maintained a strong grip on life. My youngest son, who had just started his senior year in high school and was the only one of our three children still at home, called me at the office with great agitation in the middle of the after- noon. \Dad's acting really weird. He's talking to himself and won't respond to me. Please come home right away.\ I sped home and when I entered the tiving room, my husband recognized me and declared, \I'm all night, it's OK.\ When I touched his face, I found his skin burning with temperature. I called 911 and those blessed EMT men were there in five minutes. He continued to insist that he was fine, but they took his temperature and it was Between u “d me One's life is made up of decisions, of key moments and I have replayed that decision, those moments, many times in my head. BY LEAH S. DUNAIEF close to 106. I followed the ambulance to the hospital. As I paced the hospital cormdor outside the examining room, the attending physician came out and eyed me solemnly. \He has terminal cancer, you know ~ \Yes yes, but why does he suddenly have a high fever?\ \He's suscepuble to infection.\ \Is that what he has now ? Can you give him some antibnotic \\ The young man hesitated, then asked. \Yes we can, but are you sure you want to do that? This infection could just carry him away.\ He stood there, shaking his head. I put my palm against the wall to steady myselt and stared at the doctor while the meaning of the question reg- istered. I was painfully aware of standing in the drab hall- way. completely alone except for the doctor. being asked Decisions of life and death know no season to make that terrible decision on the instant. I went baliis- uc. 'You give him antibiqtic! Now! The doctor continued to look at me sadly and didn't move. \Do you hear me? Or T'H sue you and sue the hospital You help him right now Do you HEAR me\\ I was screaming. They gave hum intravenous antubsouc and he came home two days later to sit in his wheelchair in the back- yard sunshine of Indian summer He died in the muddle of November, after a pain-wracked, three-week stay at the hospital. One's life is made up of deciions, of key moments and I have replayed that decision and those moments, many times in my head. Medical science sometimes saves but sometimes makes life more difficult. Was it the nght thing to do? More importantly, 1s it what my hus- band would have wanted? We had no wniten statement from him of his wishes in this situation Was I acting for his sake. knowing how much he wanted to live- -or for mine in not wanting to let him go? It 1s an impossible question to answer It I have any advice to offer from my own experience. # is this One can never know when the night moment is tor a loved one to meet death One can only do what we belfeve the dying would wish Witten instructions would certainly help everyone at that entical time And a frank discussion af alternatives between doctor and fanuly proxy member is to be encouraged. not delwately sidestepped We must deal with the end stages of life torthnghtly But making that awful decision. if it is necessary for the Irving to help the dying. is the final act of love Continued Santa's Angels Continued from page A3 how, during her first holiday season with Little Flower, every little girl asked for a comforter and every one of them came in. ''They're more than cared for [here] but just like any other kids; they want to show their own per- sonality\ and their rooms are their space. \I think their wishes are just like any other kids, they want to be cool, they want to be in style, but in some ways, their needs are simpler.\ Little Flower aims ultimately to reunite the children with their families or to place them with permanent fos- ter care families. \Some are eligible for adoption once they're about to move out of this program,\ Gladle said. Until then, they want all the residents to feel as \at home\ as possible. \They're very aware of the holidays and what that sort of symbolizes, so it's very important for us to create a sense of normalcy.\ While donors may not know who ends up receiving their gifts, they are assured how much each contribution is appreciated. \Everybody receives an acknowledgment of their donation, to let them know how impactful their ____ generosity to the kids.\ Gladle said. that would add the Board of Architecture and Histon Review to a law directing the Board of Trustees,. the Planning Board and the Zoning Board of Appeals to charge applicants for the retention of any outside consul- tants or legal counsel they see fit to hire to work on par- ticular cases. The Board of Architecture and Histonc Review currently pays for its own lawyers and consul- tants. Also January 3, the village will hold a hearing on a proposal to change zoning codes to limit the size of accessory structures, such as garages and sheds, on resi- dential properties; reduce the percentage of residental lot area that may be covered by any structure; and refine existing height limitations on residential buildings. Finally, December 20, the board will release its pro- posed 2006 budget. for which it will hold a public hear- ing January 3. In other business from the board's December 6 meet- ing, several resolutions that had previously been held up by internecine squabbles passed without discussion. Resolutions to accept matching funds from the state for 'two drainage projects under the Clean Water/Clean Air Bond Act of 1996. which Mayor Pete Panantes and Deputy Mayor Victor Howard had blocked with absten- each other.\ he sud. \I understand the reasoning for the disclosure forms, but it's gorung to be too much paperw ork for the value.\ Pananites. in a phone interview. said, \In retrospect. 1 should have voted for both of them That was my mi~ take.\ Both of the upcoming meetings are scheduled tor 7 pm at Village Hall. Chanukah Continued from page AS make sure that the Chanukah candles will burn for 30 minutes after nightfall Electnc menorah are often placed in windows of homes and businesses to \publi- cize\ the miracle. but this is not a substitute for lighting the menorah. Holiday traditions include eating flavorful potato pan cakes (\latkes\) and sugared or jelly - filled donuts (suf gamyot \) fried in oil to recall the long-ago miracle and playing with top-like toys called dreidels It 1s traditional for children to receive presents ot money or Chanukah \gelt\ dunng the holiday Many of the people who donate do so anonymously because they don't feel the need to be thanked, she added. \They're doing it in the true, genuine spirit of the holh- days. It's really about doing something good for someone else.\ Village Continued from page AS development of that area. Exemptions to this moratorium may be granted based on the above critena. On January 3, the village will consider a code change tons after Trustee Ed Perliin questioned where the vil- lage's half of the money would be coming from. passed unanimously this time around. Two resolutions requiring the filing of financial di~- closure forms with the village, one for contractors and vendors. the other for village employees and officals. passed after a controversial provision requiring credit checks was removed from the former. The first passed 4 1 with Trustee George Doll voting no, the second passed 3-2 with Doll and Panarites opposed. Doll later said he found the forms redundant with existing village ethics code. \We all do business with Continued from page A8 money than he does On the entire revord hetore me | must reject the Village's powition as a tegatistic ~gatcha that lacks basis in the parties' contract, in their consistent past practice and bargaining hustory, and in common sense.\ The document did not indicate to which trustee it was referring. Mayor Pete Panarites said. \The board made a strong effort, but we came up short ~ Officer Bruen, who played a lead role in the negotra tons on behalf of the PBA. did not return calls RECORD EDITOR AND PUBLISHER EDITORIAL ART AND PRODUCTION Janis Greene TIMES BEACON R Leah S. Dunaief Katherine Consorte pirecton Lots tow GENERAL MANAG Joshua Diamant David R. Leaman Robin Lamkin EXECUTIVE Anthony Frasca Linda Teto Elizabeth Reuter We welcome letters, comments and story Robert Lourier ART AND PRODuction Laura Saichwil tdcasSmdyommmsloPOBux'IO'l Setauket, NY Marie Murtagh C. Mastrosimone Renee Ajboredii Lynn Tunney 11733 oremail to tmesnpt@tbmewspapers.com. Or drop by - Morgan Vincent Campagna cLassirieps pirecton our news office at 67 Main Street, Northport. The opimmions Patricia Proven gm“! O'Sullivan Janet Fortuna Ellen Sega) of our columnists are not necessarily those of the paper. Wm“ atricia Proven Karan Glick BUSINESS MANAGER Times Beacon Record Newspapers are published Barcel ”Elwemm‘smel Beth Heller-Meson Mary Fiorentino every Thursday. EOR John Westermann Anne Mare Hewitt CIRCULATION MANAGER Address'l’OBox'lO? Setauket, NY 11733. Nysea PHOTOGRAPHY Karan Pack Diane Wattecamps Telephone: (631) 75l-7744Ich-lm1csofnonhponxom SPORTS EDITOR Aysea Cutler ADVERTISING DIRECTOR BUSINESS OFFICE Katherine Consorte Kathryn Mandracchia Sandi Gross Contents copyright 2005 onLiNE Eprron John Griffin Apvertiang ~ RobertO'Rourk 8 Mag Malangone John Springer Nino Ruis! Barbara Newman Butcher SUBSCRIPTION MANAGER Mary Cturichoila Terri Caruso m (”a < as] m J 5.5 A> C & o © a Z m O a r-4 O g \C O AJ cual © S & m 2
