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Elmira daily bazoo. (Elmira, N.Y.) 1877-1877, July 06, 1877, Image 1

Image and text provided by Steele Memorial Library

Persistent link: http://nyshistoricnewspapers.org/lccn/sn90066588/1877-07-06/ed-1/seq-1/


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ELMIRA DAILY BAZOO. VOL. 1 ELMIRA, N. Y., JULY 6,1877. NO. 8 The man who gathers the names for a Rus- sian directory is the hardest worked man in the empire . A humorous apothecary in Boston exjioses a case of Hoap in his shop window, with the per- tinent inscription, •'(Jheaper than dirt.\ A zealous brother jirayed in meetin g : \Lord have mercy on us, for tho u knowest we are the wickedest company ever gathered together,\ Chicago will make an atlenqil to clear her ccjurts of shysters, straw-hailers, perjurers and professional jurymen. Who will he left ? \Don't leave you r old tobacco quids where the inmicenl little chiklren will mistake the m for chestnuts,\ reads a sign on a hotel in Maine. A fast youth asked at a 'Frisco restaurant : •'What have yf )U got?\ \Almost everything,\ was the reply. \Almost everything ? Well give me a jilate of that.\ \(Jne jrlate of hash !\ shouted the waiter . riiat Maryland tcainp who stalkeii into a lone- ly looking farm house and demanded dinner and a suit of clothes, didn't see the dog . The <log saw him, however. The doctor repoite d twenty-eight different bites and considerable deiiiindation of epidermis. .\ Scotch lad in a military school wen t uj) with a drawing of Venice, which he had just finished, to show i t to the master. Observin g that he had printed the name under it with two • n's\ (Vcnnice,) the master said, \Dont you know there is onl y one 'hen' in Venice?\ \Only (;ne hen in Venice!\ exclaimed Sandy with astonishment ; \I'm thinkin they'll not have many eggs then.\ \Massa said a black steward tO his captain, as they fell in with a homeward bound vessel, \I wish you'd write a few lines for me to send to the old woman, 'cause 1 cant wiite.\ \Cer - tainly,\ assented the good-natured skipper, tak- ing his writing materials ; \what shall I say?\ Pompey told the story which he wished his wife to know, which his amanuensis faithfully recor- ded. \Is that all. Pomp?\ asked the captain, preparing to seal the letter. \Yes' Massa, \ replied he, showing his ivories, \thank you ; but 'fore you close him jist say. Please scuse bad spelling and writing, will you?\ Will Be Found E 81 GREAT BARGAINS in all departments of DRY GOODS. Don't fail to call and see. ONE PRICE ONLY! DEI DEOTEEES AID EAIIESOS, 134 West Water. FENNER & i OKE. Con{|c ;UQnsr9, Bakers asd if @©9fg, Lunch Rooms & loe Cream Parlors, NO. 113 LAKE STREET. THOMAS LAW^REJ^CE, MHnufactiuer of. ,ind Dealer in Choice Confectionery, AM All liMs Of liet40mekefi ,4ee 138 WEST WATER ST. ARCHITECT. Office! 118 Lake St,~Elmira. Designs for Churches, School lJuildlngs, Dwellings, Stores, etc., with specitications and estimates prepared to order. Olinrrli .trcliitectiire a Sperialty.

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