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Gouverneur free press. (Gouverneur, N.Y.) 1882-1929, April 04, 1882, Image 1

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*•• \'!* . >'. 1 • v ,. 1* » '\ rrm .rattan ftftnt TTHSRBAT ' 4 . PVrtKF.ft, Rdttor s*<t Pivprlfjor. **iiiiw, .0 Oopy. **** V«n», - fl.no f*l«l lu AtlVanC** - • « l.OO HI** terms Vdl adrah V»f *o (Uvfatldn, and .. ttt>«r« ovist t»>t «t|w<f Hi* benefit of Ui« *r r*te x\t\\rmm they <*ftf>i>tr wilh the re DVETITTHIN)^ HATER * mimmmmammmtmmmkmamLmmmammmt VL \* \ft. t • { L' . V • h '---4, H 1- i>P« N;. v • -^ ••;.:; \ \ B, Q. PARKER, Editor fhd Proprietor, s***mlmt*mm*m r ,i. j ^ • . J!aa ; »\ — r / m^ MtoaMJMtaa* >i l ) «ll»ll :V6L.J. • I kOUVEfcNEim, ST. 'tA^ KENCE COtiJtfT, <=- IV; 7 '. Terms, $1 per Year, if Paid ip Advance. • ammmmm^ N. Y., TUESDAY, AMII/ 4, : 1882; NO. I..;'/ ,„„ pi M. J- JOB FEINTING: * * -•-.•\ The Job Prfoting department of Tins Ft«^ fatEss io one of the .most complete in Northers New York, aqp contains all new type. Three NW Steain Preb&j. [ Ample, •team power and alLtne modern ma- chinery and toX>la needed toJEurn ou^nicefwork, and we are better prepared than a%y office in this section to turn out a J, SUPERIOR CLASS OF PWflliG AT THE LOWEST PBlftES. . \ ' f , .*<;,., Everything;frora a Visiting Card to a jPostej in one, two, three or more colore. Ail orders promptly filled end satisfaction ^guaranteed R G. I*ARkER t 4 - - * ProJU*letbt * . ' > ' < . .' ,\•* . W-;-\ '• ' 4 • ' i v. > :*•* i, ,^ l- « » U;:' 1 1 %i Own, •mini h**U an<1 gold tniQItid my kflM l)|«|Mil# in nAfer pUy, # j •w^i, ohll Hah VOIOMI tn my ear, At« •ouh'tlfiy kit lh« <Uri F ^ V«i, iMimaltitiAt, tna«udd<»u hit*!, I *4Mim ki h«ar atrma . r I >\ %\h «• my UtM* l*oy'« had W*fe If I liad k#»yl mf own. 1' »i, \i.*t K IM! whim, oAHmU, U»f y tvtm* A4 «v#tiin.f Hmtr* gruw l<mg # 4u<t l»«g ma wlitttiu(|ly to g\*t* • \ i '' A it<»ry nr a •>ftg ( 1 •#• » |iaU of »Ur Mtflit $fm ,' , Amott^ lliaoiharw atitna— \* (IMI tT** »f hltn whci na*nr haa heard , Hi<>rr'**mf <>f-eln». ai ol«M I i n my fdnndl, and pa a if 1 lUoh whlt# dra4>fMl <^»l liewiUU, AIM! irtit* hnw lft«h#d la If lit »ti*'C oheek^ How Uial ftna'a <?w\* h^ ml<\* t * And Mi a cNirti#r leitaitUnaa T1.*4 wmit.1 KCV« !MXH, IT li« hail litod^ Mf {ilh»r <Urllng'« \t\*cn, , > Tn« fnare go flaet, )9f Mifidreit aomi ,' Wuiiin the world of iu«tt Will And thulr work ami fontrtfw fea4 N.ii in reiurn ag*^ n > ttnl lli«ra U nu» wh«» fttltnfti fn— j I •IIAII n<»t tw tlofia, % . ' » TU iuiu IHIJF wl«i neter tt'fed Will alwftft lie my own. . Mary W. /'lwm»K#r ( (* i\* Ctnfrsry, iV tJonble Mistake, ^ A loiter fci yen, Af)oi TTierAfnl.* ^ hr^Ui yoaDij feo^ Ilka * gtr*m of H atmahine, AMIIMI into tl^ room *)i*m MiM Yhankfnl Moort aat knit • i^ -a pretty, girlish (*ne t with e ^IUMJ dimplaj tn elthnr olieek end. e • <ury aperkte in the lenghing eyee, 4 atiim >th yne^oheiik eproti much too «'K|* ^*r her quite fnvniop^d her elen* i ' form, end both aleefee werefeeteoed i[» nlmve the elttowe t (U«pUying two i limp, anowy erma, the i|ght of which * >uM hare annl thrille (4* envy to the intnt any lieilroom helte, \ l«ay it on the* table, child, end ffO u.iok to your morning'* work/ 1 \ Who do yon auppoee lt f a from!** rtnitioned tho girl, turning the letter v^r en t flewing the anperaoriptlon \t'll eee iooh|. eW t'>e Wit to )•» aeam needlnJ I ©ako it e p'int i.^vor to ley th^ng* eeiaj^ ell in e •ii<t<l<H#,tio matter whet lia^pona.\ l Tho girl eolorrnl ooneolotialj. \ Oh, that efiirlAatleg aiiem^eedlet I I'olievn eometlme^ you knit peat It i -ir,i \u> tfoep mo welting.' 1 f » , • ylllarrlel l M /t ' , ' fli^m Thankful never' naixl thle uame \( ul.lreealng hnr oldoe eteept when mh/nmely dlapleieik]. Hlowly end uofullj ahe fohlfxl hor work, atloking iiemfliMi flVndy end eeeurely Into the tl V*il; tluio wlpiii^ her *peoteclne an tin • MuinwMiry length of time on her epotleee rMmn the e<ljtntiHl them In their •per poeitlon enroia her no»e end K up the letteir, - . • < M**anwhile Ilarrle ha<l flown back to y kitten, whure eho ge?e vent to r iQinjLtlettoA by mekleg e* greet UnrlAg emong the breekfeat *' % ee, \ HkX the dcareet old auntie In the loildr ahe aetdr M but ehe doee try ^ ao with her e.vful preoiaion,, Hhe'd to ha?a ma epend the r<pt of utj l>r<^ ln/tke unvarying reulln* ol the old tytl Uruiljf ehnik on the mantel tyonder. n,|t t een'tj I'm too full of life end antirity. I went eoenothing now/end <t«a!ly ea I lore her I'd like e o!*oge *n<M* [i\ a while. Aunt Thankful and tt^ft o|d Aock are *iaoUy alike. The ti.-k, tlok ( tink of the olook end the «t ink. click, oliok of her knlttf ngneedlee uia about the only eounde I hear, eioopt tl>* ooeefeotial reelet t make Joat by way of rerlatloti. The olook U e per- fn« t model t»f acoannij ^nd prompt note; « »le ahe, Thnf ne?er>roek« a miaUka or go wring.\ / , . % • In the uett roetol HIM fhinkfnl Moore he<l taken the litter from the JnvHop* end had reeA tt fhrough twice hofunt o<Unmnoting U|i>n It, Then dropping It Into hor/ lep heir feoe »\»mei e thoughtful eipreeeion, her nyce took on a dreamy Ipokf end no wonder, for ehe wee geaFhg feAiace \ oto the pekU full forty yeere. M Htmnge, etreuge ! M ahe murmxrred, mndJUUvfly, \that Uehetebln ihould have writ to me aft«* ell theee yrere. Hho'e^ moviHl y> flrerublerille quite Utidy^end weute iotii^ewonreoqnelnK anqc, ehe teye, Ouiy twenty flm milee ' f rom hi re en* the oera run right peet hor houee en' mlire. Hroma 'inoet liiet'bein tiMghlwra. Hho'e a widow, poor thing ! dren ; ere ell deed en* gone hutMell..- Well, well! I beycn't Imi relict upon tp pane through them af flicttiouii en' I n^okon, on the hftH', p$ how I'tu etKUitme contouted ke jnoet o' women o* my ege. I'm tight gted thet eho heerVl a.ny boye. Uer Nell rnnat be qnjte e girl. M< hetehlo'a every Mt ee old tt* f am, an' Noll * her youngeet, aheaajid, ( wonldu! wonder if ahe*e about Harris* agef Doar tno^J how that girl doce fret, Hho f a ao loneeome. I.dt»rr*t know f e I hlarne her, eitlier, I wee young en* chipper once myeeH. llnhetahln f fit en (nvlte for me t o come an 1 *p*ud »fwiw>k or two with her* I couldn't th^nft of leaving home frfr eo U ng u tii^nn. Things WouW go to reck en* ruin If I did, Hut it wonld l>e e reel treet for rfarrie, eo' I oould run down en 9 atey e oouplo o' leye when aho'e teetly to eontfe home. If Mehoter f»)e*a a* glib e talker ee e*he i{»od to l>e we een tplk up the peat forti^ yeare in two duya an* not half try. ItVe bleated thing that aho'fl only got a daughter. It ahe bed grown up aohe I'd pevor tlilnk o' leitin' ^Urrie go; tor eho U pretty, tWere'e no drnyln 1 that. Toi, Til en- ewer Meh^tebln'M Uttvr right off an f mak her If Harrte may come for e week or two, It'll he e change Ibr her, en' like ee not erw'II be more contentyd after >ho^eta home egein,\ ; 4 • • e a ¥ * e • ? ' ' '0 Idler for yoTij ibotheh arid the terr ep|ioraori|>fton ia ee gocd eee photo of the write?, I nan Imagine e prim, ritgntftod a^inater <\t uncertain ege, te whom the lceat ahadoW of in- deeoruui la au uupitrdoneblo tin,- Mra M^hoUble Morfnn 1 Why, little mother Hetty, your very name looke unnatural; Ula ao peJnfnlly preoiee. I wonder If ahe ecooptod your iovltetlon to mako ue e vlait.. t hopc^not, for we'll have to drop ell pet nemee while ehe'a here, 4 Hbo'U m^Jioteble ycri end Neleon me. I, wouldn't fonder b|it thet ehe conaldere It gftogether too familiar to addreea people by their given mrmee, end we'll be at once promoted to Ifr. end Mr*.\ \ tjo let me take the letter, Nel. I'm §o engtoue to reed what ehe bee written. Ahe need to tie my deereet friend, }eera ego, when We were little gtrl*. I heWt aeeu ber for e greet many yeare Ah, luet ee I thought I Hhe oen't leave hom4 for any length of time; ,but ehe writee thet Peter'e child -Peter wee her brother, two or three ywere younger than hereelt^te with her. hhe thinke that the ohfld le lonely end lueeda a change quite l>adly. If It will not bo a bother to ue ahe will aend Iiarrie down for e week or two, and * ahe will oome at the/end of thet time and make me e ebortflelt. H ' • . Nel pucker^ 3p hla llpi and gate tent to a long, etpreeeive whiatle, ••A little boy*, next thing to en old ftebb What will we do'wlth the email tornado, mother T* f t \Ob Nel, you'll have to amine htm In aonte way t ' Ae for me, I rather like the idea of having a child about once more I've loet my little boy, yon know,\ with e fond, upward glance. \Hpeeklngof that loet boy of yOure feminde me that I've en old oheet of toote in the garret, and I'll Win hie everleeting frlendablp and bring the condemnation of Aunt Thankful down on my devotod head b/ preee)nting them on the very day of hie arrival.\ ' \I'll have Bridget fik up the little room neit to youre for' Herrio. She nan make It eo coey and pleeeant; and yon muat take him out on the lake In fyonr eail boat ocoaaionalfy,\ aaid Hre. Morton, wheee kindly heert wee in- etantly flllmt with plana for the comfort and plcaenre of the expected gneet, \ What a pity that the depot ien't nearerI\ aald Hel, reflectively. \I gudae n; *ako the horaee inatead of the carriage when ( go to meet h^m* The littlo fellow will be delighted with a horeeback ride. Who ever aew a boy that waen'tr • * j \Of conree he will, the peor little dear* I expe<^he'a had rather a aorry time of it with only Thankful for com* penj. Ho ehall mako all the noiee ho lUtie for the uett two **eka/' Mre. Morton Inataotly ankwereil If isJ Ifodre'e letter, eotttug an early day for llarrte'e vlait. The dey arrived anil Net; with one of the carriage poniee and hie own haudeome horee, etarted for the depot. In a?few momenta tho train came thun- der! tg In and the uaual bnatlo and harry ensued. . ' * Nel vainly eeatohed among the new arrlvele for 4 Ma little charge. There wee 4 lititle boy with hla nuree and a big boy with hie father; but no boy an* eweHng the ticeorlptlon of the One Nel wae In aeerch of. j \Dear met\ he said, in perplexity, *' I hope he hjten't been Ukefc on with the train.' , At Aat nioment he eepM n young laxly, wtoae wide, bluo eyes wore a very anyone expreeeion as ah# searohed the /aoee of thoae about her in a vain attempt to find the one for which ahe wae looking. Stepping np tojier aide Nel HfUd hla bet politely end aako^l her if he could aaeiat her in amy way. \ toxpaoted a young lady tjo meet me at thle train, l?\\i I fear that Something has occurrwd to detain her,'1 ahe said, with tears of vexation In her eyes. \And I eame to eecort a Jittleboy, who has failo 1 to put in an a^paaranoe, to my home,\ he aaid, smiling. M If yon will {ell me the young lady's name ptphape may assist yon in finding her i reeideooe.\ ,\... \ . , y ,- . I •• ner name Is WsaKoli M^rton^ ahe anaweroil. . . t . t j - . \And the fiitle boy t WM tc meei at 4 this train was Hkrrio Moore l\| exclaimed Nek while his fcaturog went through a eeriee of comical coutortlon, in a vain atUmpt to conoeal the merrlrAent which thle ludicrous mistake stirred up within him. ' » t . '•Arewyon-Nelir Harrle looked up at the tfeJl, hand- some , broad -should erea young marf in L bewildered turprlie, ecejrcejy knowing whether to laugh Or cry at the miy. tekc , ] , K . ^ 1 t( Mf namd Is Kelson/Writ mother alWaya oall^ mo Nel,\ he {explained, pitying her evident emhalrreftsment. u A^d you Inuat l>c llarrfcs whom mother acpt mo t o meet I .shall have to take you Into the ladle*' waiting- room while I m«ke some changes in my arrangements loir conveying you home.\ Procuring a hkek 1 e placed her in it, and after giving the direotjons to the driver ho modntod M< iorsc and taking the rxmy'* bru\'> \ roll© by the ahlc of tho hark, ao that lie ntight roach home IntinV) t;> iut/oduoe Hkrrie to hie mother and relievo her from further embicrraiisment. , , • ' I; \It is all on eoooUat'of the namce,** •aid >Irs. Morton, laughing heartily, ae ehe kissed Barrio's flneh+d cheeks; \ but I'm e?or aO glad that you arc not a little boy, dear I I shall enjoy yonr society ao much better.\ i \I shall not break my heart over the disappointment,\ thought Nel, es^e cast admiring glanoee at tho bright, animated face oppoaHe, j . \Oh what would Aunt Thankful say, Hf Ae knew f said Ilarrle, g* ahe stood before tho todrror, KetUug down her long, gold-b^own hair, In the lovely gneet chamber where Mr*. Morton had left her, with a good night kiss still srerm tfpon her lips. ,i Vhe room fitted Up fof the little l»oy*i comfort etood nnoooupied, and lUr^e knew nothing of it or tie oheet M tools with which Nel hid planned to pnrehese her effocttonm , , \Nnch a lovely Ue I and I bf^onghl It to-'Nellg 9 * ehe said, viewing the dainty article of 1 laoe and ajnbrolicry admir- ingly. \Just imagine this ornament- ing hiiAhirt-front I Oh, dear, it i s too funny r She laughed merrily. \I wanted it myself when I bought it, Only X uould not afford two, and new I can have it*\ \be added, tying it alyrat her white throat and smiling at the pleas- ing effect. \I shall not write ono word to Aunt Thankful about the mistake. I mean for onco to enjoy myself. Mrs. Morton Is such a darling old lady, and Nel ia Just splendid, if he i s a man t\ The next two weeks were the bright- est, habplest weeks of all Hartie's ex- perience. There were such nice, long felks With Mrs. Morton while Nel was at hiadflftoe, which I am sorry to con- fess his neglected shamefully during those ttwo joyous weeks. • . FOB THE FAKM AND HOME, brjal it Theft) were oarrisge-riddt and best - rides, fdooios land music, until Harrie's foolish little head was nearly turned with the pleasures # sho enjoyed; but tho tw<* weeks drew to a olofa at le*t, bringing a letter from Aunt Thankful, dieting! that she would be With them on &e5tlL / Mrs,! Morton and Iiarrie rode over to the depot in (he carriage to meet her, and bfopght her back in triumph be- tween ihem. tif v \Tusre's no use askin* how you've enjoyek your visit,\ said Aunt Thank- ful; glincing at Harriet bright, happy face. | *<^m only wfrai^f that you'll never be contented with me again.\ \Ob. yes, i shall,\ aa^ Harris; \for I know that you are the defcrest friend I over had.'* * \ Where's Nell T asked Aunt Thank- ful, gfikr they had entered the parlor and Mrs. Morton had seated het guest In a large easy-chair. . \N«jl was obliged to be absent this afternoon and will not be at home until, tea-time,\ said Mrs. Morton, 4 sending a mute dispatch across to Har- rio, who was obliged to leave the room instantly, while a convulsive tremor shook her whole form. i * . Harpe was coming down the stairs as Noljopened the front door, and their oerge floating down the long d in through tho back parlor hloh stood ajar, to where Aunt ful was sitting. , . heUblo, who's that mat Ulkin' Harrief she,asked, anxiously. ( bat instant Nel tnd Harrie en- he room together. P exolalmed Mrs. MoHon, smil- ing odmplaoently, \ it' only Nel. Miss Mporl, allow me t o make you acquainted with my sou ftolson. You didn't know that I had sudh a great boy/now did youT\ ( ^ * . .-. y . - \Tftie giiechiefs donel\ oried Attnt Thankful, sinking helplessly into a ohalrj *' But, then,'what can't be cured muat be endured,' \ ahe added, philo- sophically, while Efarrio blushed rosy, and Nel laughed merrily, r \ Hon thonghtp I was* ^joung ladj', didn't you, Miss Moore?\ said he, comleg over an^V seating himself beside her, *nd entering into oonversatiorl in an eaey, attractive way, that quite wen her lonely old heart* * | Aunt Thankful proved %irae prophet in regard to the mischief which those' two happy w^ekv had accomplished; but ahe often remarks that since Harrio must) marry somebody (and pretty girls generally do), she is awfully glad .that she cjhose a young man like Neb The coming Comet. ; >' Pri>feesoii Boss, of the Dudley ob- servatory, Albany, New York, writing of the oomet recently discovered, saldq The general appearance of the orbit In space is that of, an immensely elongated fla^t loop with the sun Situated near the dosed end: The comet is now coming in on one branch of the loop, and is approaching the earth at th* rate of about J000,000 mllel daily; that is to say, thp earth and tho oomc^ are jgetting mutually nearer eabh othVr at that rate** At die- covcty the obmct was 172,000,000 miles from the earth and 190,000,000 from the This enables us t o form some idea at the oomet will become in the t According to tho orbit already, the comet should increase in iness until the middle of June. increase will be quite slow at first, At the middle of May the comet will be foumlmee as bright as it was at. dis- oofekj, and it will probably thcta be Visible to the naked eye. By the last o)f May it will be more than ten times as bright and should then bo; easily sextai During the early days in Juno the [brightness should increase with starring rabidity and at perihelion the brightness, mathematically eom. putcti, wilt, be 800 times as grait as on tho day of discovery. But these flgutos areV always very uesertain. OonUts like this are always brighter thari would b$ indicatcxl und^i*. like cirotmstanoee by mathematical \ooit^pfw-' t^ti(in. As t y the length and splendor of the tail very tnnoh will depend upon tho > physical character of the oomet. So fjM* as can now be judged the Oomet has j plenty of mattor for the. oonstruo- a tail of giganiio dimensions, respect it ought not to be far behind Donati's great oomet of 1858. On the other hand, however, this cbmet willjbe'mnoh lots favorably situated for ol>s4rvation than was Douati's, and will not probably rank with it as ono of t^ moskstrikiug objeots to the popular eye. Thd present comet will never oome rou^h nearer the earth than 90,000,000 mi Ike, eo that while in actual dimen- sions it may be very Rroat, the* great dis- tanko of the oimet from U9 and the forlehortening of its tail wilt much re- dmje its apparent sire. But the great distance from the earth will be quite ootipensated for by the far smaller dis- tance Of the oomet from < the sub, and thikris the important ejlethent in the mafaufacture of a tail. Treatyfcot «f Fowls. * The Poultry Monthly says concerning fowls and theft treatment: ^Fowls in- tended for breeding purposes should have all the exercise that it js poesible to give them.\—\Those who consider poultry a worthless stock rAust have kept the worthless kinds, or else they know nothing about choice' fowls.\— \It is better to spend your time improv- ing one or two breeds thah to ,be han- kering after others unless you have abundant means and plenty of room.\|»- \Atftmal food occasionally for yout*^ or old fowls seems indispensable, but bet- ter givb them insect food when they are able to proonre it themselves.\ .;. % tftakle lHauare. ; _ '^ •'',/• The-quantity of stable manure de- pends npon the quantity and quality of tho feeding stuffs used, and on the amount of milk or other .products ob* tained from the animals. As a. rule, bet a small proportion of the manurial elements,of the food are permanently retained in the body or exeoreted as milk, etc., while the remainder passes into the manure. As a conSequenoe, the richer the feed the richer the ma- nure. Good feeding pays not only through increased production by the animals, but through the improved quality of the manure as well. 4 v ' Bait at a Fertiliser. The Massachusetts Agricultural so- ciety has arrived at the following con* elusions in regard to the manurial value of salt: That salt has the property of hast- ening the maturing of all grain crops; that wheat on salted land will ripen six to ten days earlier tl^n on u'nsalted land, all other condition! being equal; that it increases the yield .from twenty- five to fifty per cent; that it stiffens the straw and prevents rust andj smut; that it checks, if i t does not entirely prevent, the ravages of t|ie ohinoh bug, and that there is no dapger of a man's pocket permitting nim so put too much salt upon his land, as [two barrels per acre will injure no grain crop. The best time to sow salt ia i n the spring, and i t ought to be tho i first thing done on either fall or spring plowing l as all after stirring of the {and assists in its equal distribution through the soil. The l>est and easiest method of sowing salt, in the absence of a machine for that £ urpose, is to sow it from out the\ rear nd of a wagon, the sower using both hands while the [team is moviftg at a slow Walk. , In thjis way thirty to forty acres can be sowed in one day. The quantity used may be from 150 t o S00 IrL pounds per ao^,.lut the larger quantity T&blespoonfala of salad* oil is the better. ^f^retockjlat Paatarea The overstocking of land is one pf the surest ard quickest ways of ruining pastures, {t i s an every-day thing with many farmers,' ~Wko cannot be made to believo ttfet they arc getting the full benefit of a pasture unless ^he grass fs eaten off a tittle taster than it has time to grow; consequently all who put this method in practice always have bare pastures and poor cattle. The advan- tages to be derived from allowing the grass to gain on the cattle duiiug the growing season are Jnany, among Which are the following! Oattle *which are kept growing all the time come to maturity at a proper age. Animals kept constantly On bare pastures never mature properly ( those kept on good pastures do not have to wotk day and night to satisfy their appetites or use up all their food in bufldiqg up a system worn down by partial starvation. A good covering of grass ii a protec- tion to a rjasture* It isnature's protec- tion against the effects of bad and dry leather atod the cold rains of winter, so that new grastj will be growing under a covering of tbq old cpop* It is true [ that cattle will tjbrive better -on a mix- ture of old and. new grass, while the seeding of the mature grassei will keep np the full variety of, those kinds native to the soil. Consequently pastures thus treated prpduoe . iqore food 4or stock during ihei year than those kept bontinually ea earth. The p t ' he*|pl< tion of Int^is V L e official returns of persons tppre- Tieidcd tiy the police in England and W^lee during the official year ae con- drunk%r\ls give the number at k0. Of theee 27,878 were males 10,063 females, - \• , • • i V.;.,.. fail I (flowed the soil as well is I could, it being quite rocky, and turnbd a short furrow toward tho trees. As I .worked from them I let the plow fall a tittle lower, and when between tie trees I allowed the plow to nan dceb, so that the water would setjblo away from them in the spring. V I hauled a fdir quality of coarse manure, pulverized it we.il , and rnarked oat hills, manujrhig each hill. I planted eom and beans and pumpkins. The following swing I re- peated tho same cultivation., lily trees began to grow very fast, and that fall I harvested seventy bushels of very good apples. Tho following spring I ma- nured for the thud Urn*, planted it to potatoes, whioh greW^ Tory fast but rotted badly. I ma<l^^p the loss, however, by harvceti, ^ N> ttnshels of lcr** fruit. l^t l ^^W^ ta \ I l- ,, tlife of ayeliowbell !0e8C!a j^ ai L, tho ()thor8 are fcmrthsofabm R] the F >ti<m of cm md sold them for t , iA [ , . • i , ... , 'vmg of ste&inships grind and think a very goou .? , i ,-V,*. , From my experience I anTS>Jne o^° J anl ^l ion that most treee have too innch to^^ Q ^ n<>l% \ proper CLIPPINGS TOR THE CUKI0U8. i Niagara every minute The petrification called agat<r was named from the river Achates, in Sicily, where^'it was first found. t ... i A member of the Chinese legation at Washington is •rventy-nino years of age and boasts that he is a grandfather. A resident of Holland, who died in 1872 1 was said to hs^re smoked over four tons of tobacco in, his life of eighty y^ars.' , •/< ,-,.- The largest meteoric stone on record is preserved at the Melbourne Museum. It weighs twenty: five tons, and fell in 1860. r s , r Porpoises are of Urn known to form a Ty^a^yrkhahoal of small fish, and by 1 old • to a mass obtain a hearty his }\ *••'»•..-.\ \ ' # i . to v glish peasants the fore \v a constantly in the pocket \fed to be a charm against ^n. •. • . ..' . . t . mate of Greece is so healthful LO5GFELL0W, Two dillipn tons of water, represent* LTk© Poet o4 a u«r •{ caiidren—Inter- > 56,000 hjorse power, are hurled ov\r ' tmtlam *•«•••«••«*•• for \he emount of roots hnd a tfollcie^y' of nourishment for producing) a devel- oped fruit. / I like fall or ' w&ter pruning. Always cover the cut *tth «^fUng^t>r thick paint. ^ ^fnm^i^^B moving thej^limbs by thinning out the * ^ ^*<^- center o{ tho tree it has a tendency to broad. ' Too many vsuieties are grow had.\ ,-;''_ *' • • Recleea. t ' l ! ToCJook OKIONS.--Those seisiblo peo- ple who, know that tho plebeian onion, notwitnstanding the bad odor it is in, is a most wholesome vegetable (good to be oaten when one has a cold, and es- pecially beneficial for the stomach troubles at children) iqrehere given an excellent and novel way to dook them. Wash but do not peel them; boil mo- dium-sized ones an hour, chap ging the water twice and adding a little salt each time. When tbey begin tel bo tender drain the water off, put the onions into, a puddinjg dish, cover the dash and let them bake for half an hour; if you choose you can take the cover off and brown them. When done pour melted butter ovor them, or make a gravy of cream, butter, pepper and salt BBBAD OMJELWT.—Take t bread an inch thick, cut off slice of the crust, t pour half a pint of boiling milk on it; season with pepper andsaJk to your taAte.' Beat it up and When bold put to it five eggs. Beat the yolke very light and add them tor the bread and milk then add the whites, well bdaten. Fry in hot butter This makes two omelets. To MAHR STHAX TKKDBB.-fPat three and one tableepoonful of vinegar, we$ mixed to* gether, oufl large flatfish, and o n this lay the steak. Salt must not be'put on the steak before - it is cooked. The steak must lay on tho tenaer-mdfeing mixture for at least half an hourt3a side; the toughest steuk will suooamb to this and lie perfectly tdnder ^hen cooked, t •-, ' ., t, .- Rica MuFT^d.—Boil the rfce soft and dry. Take one-half cap rice, stir in threO spoonfuls sugar, pieoe} of butter, salt. One yeast, two size of an egg, and a. little 4>int of sweet rdiJk, one cu^l quart* of flour. Let it rise all night. If sour in the morning add a little soda dissolved in bilk, and bake in ritafdn- -^-*- To fioaaekeld Itlaie utilize the feathers of ducks, chickens and turkeys,'genoijally thrown aside gs refuse,^trim the 4 plume fr,om the stump, inclose them in a tight bag, rub the whole ae if washing clothes, and you will secure a perfectly uniform and light down, excellent lor Quilting, coverlets and other purposes. * ' j it , : t v When eggs are not plenty] and you do Hot make regular salad dressing for lettuqe, cut a hard-boiled edg in several parts lengthwise,' and,lay one piece on each email plate of lettuce. . On* may utilize old matting, which is no longer freak enough to took well, by putting it under carpets] It can be cleaned perfectly by washing it on both sides with hot salt an<|' wafer; hang it n dbim to the bare I <k aJine outdoors to dey, ice'W keeping pas• ' ^ v ii^ gotd condition is easily donom ^ h6r * WBothlng bettor to clean, win- '- • i^ Wo% glass than chamois skin upon large farms, where reserve fields can be provided, but even thfe small farmer can suooeed in having renewed and fertile pastures, if he but study tho laws of riatluro'and practice according to the know led go thus acquired^ v 1 '•' r, Wkea te Prase Trees..; : / -. There in nothing more doseirMng of admiration than a wclbpropoltioned tree, tr'hin left tq grow niturally* treesustaliy assume an^outline that is pleasingj, bni where pruning is properly understood, and applied the general eppearahoe of trees can be m<uch im- proved. If pruning be judged by what is seen around us it would t be difficult to assert .that it i s generally beneficial for too often it has resulted in the per- manent injury of trees, and certainly to the disfigurement of many streets in our oiiiies and Tillages., , On a place where young trees have icon recently plantod there is room for. the pruner's skill. Thero are many small fruit orchards ia our town, v?here4>runing has been understood, that contain pear and other trees, models of symmetry, prun- ing should commence before a*\ree is planted, In digging trees there are usnsally some roots bruised, and tliese roots ihould be pruned off > otherwise fungus will attack the diseased parts, and fungus around the'roots is the mor- tal enemy of trees. If the trees, being planted are fruit trees, such ae, pears and plums, the branches will gtneraUy need pruifing ; hnd here at the start is where the greatest amount of knowl- edge is needed. ., , ' - . V' . ikeeeea Wltk aa Orchard, ' \In three yeaw,\ says a prkolifal Irnit grower, \ I improved the produc- tion of my fruit treee from fifteen to two hundred bushels by treating them in the following manner: I first rev ducJd the top one-fourth; then in the Wash thp skin carefully first; after hashing tlio gUsar rinse the skin, wrhig it dry an£d wi^b\the glass with. No other poliahing will be rcfquired.1 * \ . '. The Doomed lleljic. v The immediate question of interest U: What will Utah do about it?. It has 145,000 inhabitants, , of whom about 120,000 are Mormons* The men out- number the women*-who are allowed to rpte there—by several thousand, and tye male polygamists constitnte but a small minority of the voters. It is of the utmost importance to the Territory to be admitted to,the Union a? a State at the earliest possible moment. Noth- ing but polygamy stands in the way of its admission. That relic pf barbarism is a rock against the door, juid none but Mormon hands can roll it away. The way in which this measure is received and carried out by the Mormons will decide whether that Territory shall be- come k State now or be obliged to re main in' a staj^e oi non~agd another five r»r tak ye^s. TJbere is J strong party in that St^te in faJbr of throwing off this fossilised incubus olj polygamy — does not even belong to the Mormon religion, but was glued Ion to it by. Young and Pratt and other leaders no longer living—and placihg the Terri- tory in the line of material advancement and in sympathy w|th regnant forces' of modern civilization. It is to be hoped that this party is large enough tad has sufficiently capaHle !f tders carry its point.-^J^ae York Star. -A.*^^—^_ Three gentlemen, during a conversa- tion, agreed to pay one pound sterling each to the One w^o should tell the tallest and most ridjtonlotis story. The first commenced bis, stori thus : \ The wealthy 1 money.\—^tii's. editor one of the other (\Stop cried party, \here's our that,TTJ;La l.OOO years, it was visited by only one epidemics—that desoribOd by Thucydides. l telle Us that the sun and moon existed before the crea- tion of the earth, but the stars had all been mortals or favored animals or birds. v , ' v . ' Bandboxes areWd to have been so called from their having been first used for holding the minister's \ bands,\ or wide collars, such as Milton wears in his portraits. * The red thorn apple is a luxury of the Indians of the Andes, under the in- fluence of whioh th,ey believed them- selves to enter into oommunion with the spirits of the dead. , ; . It is -estimated that England alone consumes 1,200,000 pounds,) of hory a year. This entails the ^death of 30,000 elephants, and it is thought that not fewer than 100,000 die annually. Hate for'men were invented at Paris by a Swiss in 1404, They were first manu- factured at London by Spaniards in 1510. Before that lime both men and women in England commonly wdre close-knit woolen baps. The Burmese burn their dead in all Oases except that of infante under twelve years of age, and persons dying violent or sudden deaths. Among the Burmese it is \grander\ to b^ [ burned \than butiod. , Deaths from natural causes are; termed good deaths. Sudden deaths and deaths from epidemics are styled gr^en deaths* The former entitle the deceased to burning, the latter necessi- tate burial. , I- •. Opening the Car Window. Maybs a man feels, happy and proud and flattered and envied and blessed arUong men when he sees a pretty girl trying to raise a window on a railway car, and he jumps up and gets in ahead of the other boys and says, \ Allow me? Oh, so oojurteously, and she says, \ Oh, if you please; I would be so glad,\ and the other male passengers turn green with envy/and he leans ove/ the back of the seat and taokies the window in a knowing way with one hand, if perad- venture hp may toss it airily with a eirAple turn Of the wrifet, but it kind of holds ori, and he takes hold with both hands,, but it sort of doesn't let go to any alarming extent, and then he pounds it with his fist, but it onl} seems to settle a \leetle\ closer into place, and then he comes around and she gets out of the seat to give him a fair chance and he grapples that win dow and bows up his back and tugff^ and pulls and sweats and grunts and strains and his hat falls off and his suspender buttons fetch loose, and his vest buokle parts and his. face gets red and his feet slip and people laugh, and irreverent young men in remote seats grunt and groan every time he lifts and cry out, \Now then, all together,\ as if in mockery, and he bursts his' collar button et the forward button and the pretty young lady vexed at having been made so conspicuous, says in her iciest manner,^*Oh,-never mind, thank you. It doesn't make any difference,\ and then calmly goes away and sits down in another, seat, and that wearied man gathers himself together and reads a [book upside} down—ph doesn't he feet good, jtlst ? Maybe he isn't happy, ^t if you think he isn't, don't be foo enOpgh to extend any of your sympathy, fie doesn't want it.— Hawkeys. v y Children's Feet;,.; * What a vast amount of human suffer- ing might be prevented did parents properly care for the feet of their chil- dren. We do not now refer to the, mat ter of cleanliness, too often disregard- ed, but to those points which affect the development of the feet, and directly concern the future comfort of the indi- vidual. JPortunatoly, the dayis in which the foot wis squeezed into the smallest possible shoe or boot have gofce by. But life-long trouble\ may result from wearing shoes that are too large. When a shoe flte badly» and there is with every step e constant concussion or rub- bing, the skin thickens at that point. At iflrat this trouble may belong onlji to the surface skin Or cuti- cle, but after a time \the true skin is affected, and i n some cases* even the muscles may become involved and painfully gfseated. Thejie troubles, when small, are called Corns', when Jarger and on the J*all of the great 'toe, <* bunions,'* and oti the heel, \ribes.\ All hkve the same origin, ah undue, long-continued loOel pressure, and are all. the same nature, being an attempt to resist this pressure by a thickening and hardening of the skin, while* the parly belgw beoom» exceedingly sensi tive and painfuTT ^6drns o* whatever of too tight a shoe, /or the frequent rubbing of one that is too loose^ Young people should always have well fitting shoes, and if they wear woolen stockings all the time they will t)e more likety to escape ctrnsVhan with cotton ones. .- / as Many pleasing anecdotes ere told illustrating fir. Longfellow's - kindly mtnner toward strangers, and especially is gentleness' toward children, for whom there was always a place in his heart; The following story, tol4 by Professor Lz^i ]£onti last year, is a 4 fair example of feO rnany that h&vo been or that might be told. * Fcr j$any years this gentleman has been in th •habit of driving with the poet every Saturday.* ^ i On Christmas day, as he WAS walking briskly toward the old historic, house, he wee aeooated by a girl about twelve years olfl, who inquired the way to Longfellow's home. He told her it was some distance down the street, but U she wonld walk along with, him he would show her. • When they reached the gate she said, \Do you thfhk t can go in the yard f j \ Oh, yes,\ said Signor Monti, M Do you see the room' on the left? That is where Martha Washingt6n held her receptions a hun- dred years ago. If you, look at the window on the right you will probably see a white-haired gentleman reading a paper. Well, that will be Mr, Long- fc!*ow.\ .-, .. , ;. She looTr^HSJtiged and happy at the unexpected pleasursToT^re^Jly seeing the man whose poems she saia-~che loved. As Signor Monti drew neat the* house, he saw Mr. Longfellow standing with his back against the window^ his head, of course, out of sight. When ho went in the kind-hearted Italian said: / Do look out of the window and bow to that little girl, who wants to see you ve*y much.\ \ A little girl want* to see me very much? Where is ehe?\ He hastened to the door, and, beckoning with his hand, called Out: M Oofne here,: little igirl, come heAif you want to see me.\ | She needed wsecond invitation, and, after shakingjier hand apd asking her njame, ho kindly took her into the house, showed h<*r the \old clock on the stairs,\ the chair made, fromAthe village smithy's chestnut tree and* presented to him by the Cambridge children, and the beautiful pictures and mementoes gathered in many years of foreign resi- dence. That childlwili carry all o( her life delightful ^memories of her Christ- mas call at Mr. Longfellow's* j • This little inoident shows how* deep and genuine was the love for children whioh found s4ch frequent expression in Mr. Longfelldw'a verse. It was a lore whioh^was cordially reciprocated, for no other poet of the times has had more friends and lovers among the \ little people of God\ than Mr. Long- fellow* This love of the children for him was symbolized in the pretty gift which the children of Cambridge {made to him i n 1877—an armchair mado from the old horse-chestnut tree in Brattle street, Cambridge, which i Mr. Longfellow . had celebrated i in hispoom M The Village Blacksmith.\ The design of the ohfeir is very pleasant and in perfect keeping.. The color is a dead black, au effect produced by ebonizing the wood. The upholstering of the arms and the cushion is in green leather, and tho casters are glass bails set in sockets. In the back of tho chair is a circular piece of exquisite carving, representing horse-chestnut leav^ and blossoms. Hogse-chestnut leaves and burrs are presented in varied combi- nations at other points. Around the seat, in raised German text, are the following lines from the poem: r And children coming, home from school look in at the open door, ' \ <, And catch the horning sparks'that fly like \ t chaff from a thrashing floor. , , ' . Underneath the cushion is a brass plate on which is the foliowing4nscrir> tion: % 4 . •• i j^ ° To the author of the •Village Black- smith.' This chair, mado from the wood of the spreading chestnut tree, is presented as a n expression of grate ful regard and Veneration by the chiTkJf en of Cambridge, who, with their friends, join in best wishes and congratulations on this anniversary. . February 27, 1877.\ \ •_• *\ I •: r« While Mr. Longfellow had been averse to public testimonials und cele- brations, his birthday, ^especially of late years, has been the occasion of many pleasant dempnsuraCions of the affection in which he has boen b»ld. country gave the whole or a part of the day to a study o{ his writings and to essays and\ addressee upon his char- acter and ' life. His native city of , Portland desired to j bonor him with as public reception * Upon the same occasioh, but failing health com- pelled him to decline the honor. The members of the Maine Historical so- ciety, however, held a special meeting, at which eulogies, critical and personal essays, and a poem were read. At the Asylum for the Blind, i$ South ^Boston, there was a plcaaingj celebration in whioh the pupils participated* and i n preparation for which a volume in rained letters had been printed con- taining tributes to Mr, {Longfellow and some passages from his t>oems. T The statistibal office, at Viebna has published some interesting particulars with, regard to the pitees in Austria. They fehow that from 8t76 in 1875 the totarnumber of periodicals rose to 969 in 1876, to 1,001 in 1&77; tc LOW in 1878, and to 1,074 in 1879. The in- crease, therefore, during the five years was at the rate of twenty-two per cent. Tnis total comprises publications of every description, the greatest number ^ __ wr , of political journals appearing at Vi- desoription may result from a P^S^rej^^^ Bohemia h(as seventy-four I MORAL ASD RELIGIOUS '; Oan Way ofCasilns Oat 'Devils*' \ ; A young minister in making a call On a friend who lived seveialseniles out of town took passage in the mail wagon, which already had two passengers. They were soldiers, and, being intoxi- cated, were quarreling fearfully. Their terriblo Oaths jarred upon sensitive ears and shocked th* heart long re- fined by hOavenly meditations. So violent was their language <that the jmnUter feared they would inflict bod- ily injttrf apon each other, and with the sudden' inspiration ol genius he said: ''Gentlemen, don't be^sc^cing each other. If you must curse some- body, curse the man who shot the Pres- ident. } , t - ... . ; •-..;. , At once all the ftiry which they had been aiming at ea h other was copcen trated upon Guiteau. * With each burst of indignant speech * new force wae gained for the next onset, and they poured out the vials of their Wrath most mercilessly. j Young Cle/icus had accomplished his otjjcct in quelling a personal quarrel, but he wanted to calm the* men. Their anger was terrible. \ That will do,\ said he. \ Ton couldn't make it any stronger if you should try a month. Don't you want me to sing to you V Tb^y were ready to turn with interest to this new suggestion. \ Wfcll, let me sit between you and Til 6ing you a Som^JThey readily made room for him,land b<rta*og one song after another till tbeir anger* haJrvCJJ^^y* aud they were delighted with film\-trfad happy with, each other. ^* hf the time they reached their desti- nation the quarrelsome soldiers who setm^d, on starting, to be possessed of devils, were thoroughly sobered.— Christian at Work. , '!. B ell slows News and Notes, f Minnesota has 7,419 Presbyterians. '. A union of the Methodist church sects in Canada is proposed.' The Mblbodist church at Rlytia, 0., Was recently destroyed by fire. , . v Last Jrear 18,000,000 pages of tiu New Testament and portions Were sold for ^16,000 in Japan. ; •;. < \ \ . : A secdnd Congregational, church has just beet organized among tho Choro-* *kees by Rev. J. W. Scroggs. Something new has at last been hit upon bj( the Christiati^ church at New liston, Qhio. The ladies gave a ''Back- wheat f}upper\ in*aid of the mission fund, aid it proved a great success. The general assembly of the Presby- terian cinurch in the United States wUl meet at Atlanta, Ga., in the First Pres< bycerian church, on May 18. The open- ing sermon will be by the moderator of the last assembly.. '*.•••;. * Bev. J. W. Sanborn aud Bey/ Joseph Turkey (\Spliced Arrow\) are* busy completing a translation of a' hymn- book and the Book of Psalms into the Seneca; language for the use of the Cat- taraugjos Indians.. t .. ^ , The| Pope has been invited to r&fcove the papal chair to Qiebec, and i t is ru- mored that he would not be averse to estabUfehiu^f himself in some part of Ameriba. • His preference, however, is aaid ty be for the United States. : The tower and spiro of St. John's churcfc, ^agerstown, Md., erected by Mr. 0. C Baldwin, of that city, in memory of his wife, have been com- pletod ata cost of $20,0001 In the bel- fry arte fv^aur bells' weighing respectively 2,000| 1,0(M 650 and 250 pounds. t . In kine months of 1881 the mission* sries of the American Sunday-scly>ol unioil organized' 1,597 new Sunday- schools, containing 7,100 teachers and 56,97k) scholars.; In tho Northwestern department alone 499 new schools were organized with* 2,013 teachers and 17,- 429 scholars. . J <r M An India Robber Man. . \ The New Yt^rk doctors have been in- vestigating the peculiarity exhibited im the person of Heinrich Haag, who takes hanq/nds of his skin and pulls it Out a s though it were so much india rubber. Heir Haag is a lightly-built German withj reddish-brown hairJaandy mue- tachje ahd wblsker* /and laue eyes, and weighs' only 130 pounds^ The mosf critical observer, seeing him in a state of rjepoee, would fail to find anything queer about him. Bot all the medical Particularly was this true of his las^f®^ 5 ^ ^ en '^^^ *• ikin of birthday, on the 27th of last iponth, bisjthroal; ^ when many Softools throngbotit tke completely miuik his fgc^rp^qhe^xe-1 ^ ^^ M in ftr/lAP ^ rAn ^ r the foot- brore. .Then i he drew doltn the akin over each eye isq ae to lap over on the cheek, pulled the skin at the point of his hose down to his!chin, clutched the skin of his breast and hauled it out a good seven inches from his body; reached over his shoulders and dragged up flap of sltfifi that looked from the front as if be {was pulling an India rub beij blanket oyer his back, and seizing the skin of bib knee drew it out so far that he twisted it up lh a knot as one might a wet-tiweJ. Whenever the skin wae let go it glided back smoothly into pl*|oe without a wrinkle, and; locked likb anybody else's skin. ,s , The doctor* examined Wmlbouroghly and with much interest, and pronounced it a case of 4 dermatolysis \ and aaid Hsrr Haag's duticle was nowhere joined to his pxue^ular tissue. On his righb arm there is a scar,' where the Vienna doctors had, taken off a piece of the skin about four Inches long and a half inch wMe. They found that the skin had nq connection with the flesh of the arm. for5i500,00ainhabit-r political joumalfcio 5^5 alicia U&fjr Hfer 6,000,000 ante, and Galicia inhabitants The cook of tto AstOr house in New I York has 14,000 a yeaijand he can sling j hash in seventy two characters. i. $# T|e skin upon hie ears, his hands, his feepgn4kis head showed this same ^l^tio qualftyr^Jlsli^t Herr Haag vcan p himself up in liwticitv, |c4n pull the cuticle out above his knee-pans and wring it like a cleth, and dan slide, around inside him leif to a really alarming extent. prown: •' Ah I,that's your ddg, He'd iJtonish any suspicious-looking party cqming about I should thinkr\ Jones: Qii, yotr needn't be af raid as long ae Jam with jrOu* old fellow.\ . I T: > S^me Bay of Days. Some day, some day of days, tbrea&ng ths *«tareel, •.-.-. * With idle, heedless^ptce, . / • TJnlookiug for such grace, - t shall behold your face ! . *'. s Some Say, aoins day of da^s, thai may we - me«t, * \ . '' ^ ;•'-.••-'• ' ' \ y • ' •-.. .J Perchance ike sun may shine from skier of •. «*y. '- x * ••• -• \ •.-.*•' « Or wlnteVs icy chill *> . Touch whit^ly vale and hiU,. : '^ *- Whatmattci? I shall thrill ft Through every vein with summer on th\t»day^ Oaco m<Mf«dlfe*s perfect youth will alf jricjme, • baCk, y .. , 'y J f\\> % And for a moment tsere ' ' '• !_ I shall sUnd fret>h and fair j J ^'* — J And drop the garment car>; 00^ mors my perfect youth will cutting lack. I amit my ©yea, n6w thinking how 'twill be- . How, fsoe to ^ace, each soul.^__ ' • ^iil slip its long control, /\^ *. : Furget ihc jiietnal llolo •-'} *5 4 Of dreary fate's dark,J separating sea. And. glance to gianpc, and hand to hand tn 1 aT^eting, ^ The past, *i£ *K Its fears, > V f .. • g ; , Its silence^ and teats, ' . , lu lonely, teaming years, Shall vanish in the moment of that mealing. \ u r -, ^*- : | V /- PUNGENT ^ARAjB^irilS. >*\ If. ^ r \ tooth is ndgh)ty,\ is tbe motto of the gentle dentist^ ..'< ' The day of t,he crank passeih away. Be has had his turn* ^ The truly humane'man is the indi* vidua! who chloroforms an oyster be- ^ fore opening it; * f ^ v, - - /••••>•• Pianists are not always aWjeWeled set, but did you ever see one who did not like to display his iuiger-mg. # * * ^WnaV mtde thapiiilr 4dckyour tbey asked of ttfPT^o»segto whg had t been sent flying tbrouglr ^eoentw 5tf * barn. And he answered;'**^\r~x^S think I was fool enough to go oaok aM ask him,\/ - - i A baby Oan put its rosy little toe i n its mouth more easily then its father i can; but, when it comes to putting his . whole foot in it, the man of years and experience can discount the baby half a hundred t&il then run out^ Little four-year-qld wanted s$me* ^ thing that his sistet had, but the sister was resolute and wouldn't give it .up. \ It aih r t pritty '^jaff for you tc \eep;\ x he-said, mingling a graceful ooinpli : , ment with his own avarice in a su- perbly childish manner. ; A Philadelphia man told a postmaster , from a rural village that*; his post ofiloe clerk was \no gentleman,\ and the postmaster got as mad as a hornet and . came very*hear getting himself arrested for aeeault ahd battery before he re- flected that his cleii was a lady. .The oourt, # auatere] y:. M Prisoner, bow •_ did you have the audacity Ho break into ; this man's house at midnight and rob him V' Prisoner, piteonaly: \ But, your hono^ last time I wsa before you you j- wanted to know bow I could have the audacity to rob a man on the highway at high noon. When do' you want me to gdt in my work?\ r ? The total laud ares of the United States,-not including Alaaka, is ; ; 2,970,- 000 square mUee. And when a man % loses his collar button just nine minutes \ before train time, or has to hunt up his hat before he goes to church, he thinks - the country is just about twice as large as it really is, and that he hps been ail over it three times. An ostrich on a farm in Cape Colony , kicked one of the farm bands to death last month. And yet they talk of in- troduoing the culture of this bird inty the United States. It's ju&t about ail our teamsters can do now to get eiong ^/ with the pale gray mule with brindled legs. What will become of the republic if yon introduce a mulo with wings. i Roman Fondness for Roseju* - •; The ancient Bomans w%ro passionate- ly fond of roses. To en joy their eceirt at meals an abundance of roses were - Shaken on the table*, so that the dishes were completely surrounded. By An artificial contrivance, rosea, daring the ., meals, descended on the guests from, \ abov*. Heiiogabalus, in his folly, caused roses to be showered upon hk guests in such quantities that a number < of them were| suffocated in flowers. I During meal times they reclined on* (. cushions stuffed witfr rose leaves. CI eb* patra, at an enormous expense, pro- cured rosea for a feast which she gate to Antony, had them laid two cubits thick on the floor of the banquet-room, and then caused nets to be spread over '^^K. •\*-*•* n t* li %::, ing elastic. Heiiogabalus caused hot J only the l^nquet rooms but also the colonnades that led to them, to be cov- ered with rosea interspersed with lilies, . violets, hyacinths and narcissus and walked about on the flowery platform. ' A Minister^ Predicament. '* Daniel Webster had an > anecdote of old Father Scarlet the minister of his boyhood, which in tod good to be * lost: It wae customary then to wear knee breeches in cold wether. One Sunday morning in autumn Father Searle brought his breeches down from J the garret, but the wasps had taken possession during th$ summer, and wer* having a nice ^me of it in them. • By dint of effort he got out the intruders and prepared for meeting/ But, while reading the Scriptures to the qongrega- i tion, he feft a d*gger from the enraged, > emall-waisted fellows^ and. jumped around the pulpit slapping his thigh*. \^ But th* mdre he slapped and danced, .. the more the/ stung. Tho peo^leJ | thought Jiim cuizy, but he explained the * • matter by: . '.' Brethren, don't be alarmed; the Word of the Loitl is i n my mouth, but the devil is i n my breeches * ^ always told thi* with ferjjj^ ffi glee to ; The ineongruitiejj of nature are well illustrated when a man, whose life from tha cradle has bt en one stupendous error, points out a small mistake in a newspaper and then asks the editor why he oAb't get things straight, in his paper t— Whtthall TVfcet. :••• I * e- f 1! K •«»*<••. . ^-SSF- s ' t*|\

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