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Image provided by: Jefferson Community College
cReAtive SpAce December 2014 / Pg. 16 Te Cannon My Experience With Seasonal Afective Disorder An Anonymous Submission It starts with missing my alarm in the gray morning one day. An innocuous, isolated event. I scramble to get to school, but every- thing is just like I lef it. My grades, relationships and life are intact. Te sun greets me later that day; we ex- change smiles and go our separate ways. A few weeks later the clocks are set back, occasionally I miss the sun altogether due to my late classes and workload. I feel badly, know- ing the amount of time we spend together is slowly diminishing as the world spins a cocoon of shadow around another third of the day. But what can I do? Te world does not make allowances for me. Today I missed my alarm altogether, woken only by the un/ lucky disturbance of living with others. I move towards the shower and the beginning of another day. I can’t shave today; the importance of the timing of my daily routine is the only thing that prevents my world from spontaneous disassembly. No time, no time. In no time at all I am out among the snowfakes, and the snowfakes are brighter than the sky. I miss you, my friend. In lecture my eyes are as un- focused as my ears. Te sweet, sticky soda I drink is only sticky today. Only by sheer will and optimism can I structure the words resonating throughout the hall. Te cafeine and chewing gum seem to help also, but I am wary of trading my friend for these fckle acquaintances. But what can I do? I must make allow- ances for myself. And now I am in a room with no windows, tip-tap-typing away. I am glad for the lack of win- dows- they only mirror my mood. I can feel the space around me, weighing on my eyelids. Moving through crowds of people, do they not breathe the same air? Have I be- come some sort of alien? Tey seem unafected. And now I am frus- trated, angry with myself because I cannot breathe the same air in the same manner as everyone else. Tis is a misappropriation of my energy. I have other things I need to be do- ing. Focus. Or maybe I should take a break. I have not seen my friend in only a few days, but it feels like forever. I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him. Even just for a few seconds, just to know you’re still there. I know you did not abandon me on purpose, I know you’re still there and it is just nature’s course blinding me and smothering every- thing in a blanket of white. I know that we would not be as close if it were not for this. I know it but it isn’t helping as much as it should. None of it is. But what can I do? Te world makes no allowances for any- one. My words and existence grow sparse against the white-grey back- ground and static flling in every space. In six months this will all seem like an uncomfortable dream slipping into the past. I will be okay…I will. Artwork by Samantha Schnell